Teach. Kids. To. Drive. Help.

[jyl]

Help, please. Need collective wisdom of the board to get me through this challenge. I am teaching two teenagers to drive. How do you do this?

[masraum]

one in the car at a time, or one is in the back completely silent during. Start and do a lot of driving in an empty parking lot or empty area before you ever get them anywhere near a road with other traffic.

Automatic or manual?

Start slow. Don't Panic.

Good luck.

I hear low dose NSAIDs are good for your heart.

[gacook]

Same boat (but only 1 kid).

Step 1: Keep mom out of the car (she's WAY too nervous, which makes it worse for the already somewhat scared of driving kid)

Step 2: Just do it.


I started out in a very large, very empty parking lot until he was somewhat ok with keeping it in a relatively straight line. Then, moved on to pretty much empty roads. Now, we're driving in traffic. He sucks, but he's learning.

[syncroid]

I am also in the same boat. I'm teaching my daughter and her best friend how to drive.
First thing I did with them was put them in the driver's seat and explain the basic controls. (gas, brake, turn signals...) I told them to adjust the seat and mirrors to the most comfortable position. We started the lesson in a large mostly empty parking lot. After about 45 minutes to an hour of maneuvering around the parking lot, she drove home. (about 3 miles away) She did pretty good. This was about a month and a half ago when we started. Now she drives most everywhere except the freeway. We did that once! My heart rate is still up there from that one.

[pavulon]

I've started my 2 oldest in big vacant lots. They were 10 and 12 when we started. A working handbrake is essential.

[OffCamber00]

+1 for parking lot. No substitute for seat time.

[john70t]

There is physical skills using the controls and staying within the lines.
That is picked up in a few hours/weeks just like riding a bike.

More importantly.....there is anticipating other drivers and thinking ahead!!!

Have him watch while you talk about how you're reading the road:
-"I'm slowing down on this curve because there's a car at the apex, and something could jump out"
-"That car has the right of way, then that one, then I go after the pedestrian."
-"I could have squeezed through the light, but the opposing car might not have stopped".
-"I'm checking X/Y/Z before pulling out".
-"Those cars are way too close and that one is weaving and anxious, so I'm staying back"
-etc

Have him/her read the potential road hazards back to you while you are driving.
You know he/she knows and is watching out.

[gacook]

Originally Posted by john70t

There is the facet of physical skills and staying within the lines.
That is picked up in a few hours/weeks, just like riding a bike.

More importantly.....there is anticipating other drivers and thinking ahead!!!

Have him watch while you talk about how you're reading the road:
-"I'm slowing down on this curve because there's a car at the apex, and something could jump out"
-"That car has the right of way, then that one, then I go after the pedestrian."
-"I could have squeezed through the light, but the opposing car might not have stopped".
-"I'm checking X/Y/Z before pulling out".
-"Those cars are way too close and that one is weaving and anxious, so I'm staying back"
-etc

Have him/her read the potential road hazards back to you while you are driving.
You know he/she knows and is watching out.

This is true. While my step-son is driving now, I ask him what he's doing/thinking. And give him little pointers along the way in regards to other people's driving habits. People around here drive like complete morons, so there's no lack of "learning points" in regards to bad technique/habits.

Also, I made it very, very clear that while he is driving, the cell phone never leaves his pocket.

[vash]

Flip a coin. You get one, wife gets one. ?

Gods luck. Sounds like a fun nightmare. Oh. Use mom's car.

[gacook]

Funny thing is, with this kid, I'm constantly having to tell him to speed up (to meet the speed limit). He takes turns like a 99-year-old grandma who can't see over the steering wheel--he's just an extremely over cautious kid. In a year and a half, his brother will be driving. I know for a fact I'm going to be yelling at him to slow the F down, lol. It's always amazed me how the 2 of them are total polar opposites in almost every way.

[Rikao4]

big plus on how to read traffic & anticipate..

as we are still in P-lot...
go when it's raining or wet...
drive..brakes ..let them slide..
that one really helped me..
as I thought I knew how to drive in the snow/wet..

Rika

[Seahawk]

Went through this with two. My daughter was a natural...it really was a question of how to anticipate trouble. We spent a lot of time on the road talking about pacing, looking ahead, seeing the little things that keep you out of trouble as best you can.

My son, even though he had been driving on the farm for years, was much harder. I called him the parking lot narcoleptic...once he got off the highway into a parking lot he put his brain in absolute neutral. If I hadn't been there with him he'd of clipped a few grannies for sure.

Advice? I was a NATOPS Instructor, Night Vision Goggle Instructor, Instrument Check pilot, Small Deck Landing Instructor, white water rafting guide (putting myself in the hands of six suburbanites with paddles) etc. so what follows is based on many years of helping, which is the key word.

Never yell unless they put you in extremis and then only if it solves the immediate problem. If they screw up, find a place to park before you talk about it.

Talk about the road ahead, what they are looking at: Ask them to tell you the model of car that just passed them or that you guys just passed. Make it enjoyable. Have them count the seconds between your car and the car in front of you. Don't talk too much.

I used to play when is the light going to turn yellow game with them, the go/no decision. They were amazed that I was always right until I showed them the pedestrian cross walk timer that counts down the seconds to a light change, which can be seen. Make it fun.

If all is going well, introduce a simulated emergency if the the conditions permit.

Tell them about the times you weren't exactly Emerson Fittipaldi.

I tried to get them thinking about driving rather than how to drive. Once they got their permit I never drove when I was with them...as said earlier, seat time is judgement time.

It really isn't that hard, especially given your son's abilities.

I remember in HS drivers ed the day I got to drive the Conejo Grade from Newbury Park down to Camarillo. I was sooo pumped. The instructor, Mr. Fischer, was the Varsity Basketball Coach and had played at UCLA for Wooden. I played for Fischer. we were driving a puke green Ford LTD.

He was so sing-song the whole way up and back, "look at that, how many miles on this car, you need to work on your left hand dribble more..." that I just drove and didn't worry about a thing.

[Shifter]

Honestly? Send them to a driver's training class. Seriously. Not worth the stress and the grey hairs. Assuming you have the hair left to go grey...


Drivers Ed | PCC

And they can waive the drive test when they pass. Win, win for all.

Now start shopping for a tank for them to drive.

[gacook]

Originally Posted by Shifter

Honestly? Send them to a driver's training class. Seriously. Not worth the stress and the grey hairs. Assuming you have the hair left to go grey...


Drivers Ed | PCC

And they can waive the drive test when they pass. Win, win for all.

Now start shopping for a tank for them to drive.

Respectfully, I disagree. I think it's a major bonding time, and it's something your kids will remember forever. I feel sorry for my step-son's dad that I'm the one teaching his sons to drive, instead of him.

[JavaBrewer]

I started my son when he was ~ 14. Big empty parking lot on a non busy location. Manual transmission. It was hard and he was in tears a few times after I lost my cool with him. I can suck as a Dad sometimes. But overall he took to driving very quickly and I let him drive on local roads.

When he was 15 we migrated to the open roads and highways. Just before his official driving lesson we did a weekend trip to Santa Barbara and he did all the driving Yeah yeah I know but that's how my Dad did it and I was very confident in him. He passed the DMV test with a high 90's score in his DD Ford Explorer with auto transmission. All that time driving the manual has really sharpened his coordination and forced him to always be thinking ahead. Except in parking lots - like Paul's son - brain sorta locks up for some reason.

He is 16 now but still prefers a manual transmission



My daughter is the exact opposite of my son. She has zero feel or understanding of driving. Basics of applying gas/brake and steering inputs are so far off I'm pretty nervous. Lots of work in my future trying to get this one safe...

[nostatic]

Automobile Club of Southern California - Auto Club Driving School

Calvin starts in Sept. I will supplement, but this handles a lot of the heavy lifting and puts them in someone else's car for a number of hours. Plus it likely will lower insurance rates a bit.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by gacook

Respectfully, I disagree. I think it's a major bonding time, and it's something your kids will remember forever. I feel sorry for my step-son's dad that I'm the one teaching his sons to drive, instead of him.

Could not agree more, Guy, and with Shifter: Combo it.

In Maryland, they have to do drivers ed (classroom and on road with instructors) as well as a boat load of permit time in all conditions, parental supervised.

We still laugh at the folly we went through at times. I would not have missed it. I made sure they knew: you may get your license, but I'll let you know when you can drive my cars.

It worked.

[Shifter]

Originally Posted by gacook

Respectfully, I disagree. I think it's a major bonding time, and it's something your kids will remember forever. I feel sorry for my step-son's dad that I'm the one teaching his sons to drive, instead of him.

You haven't driven in Portland, I would guess. Asshats abound on the streets, I know, I will admit I am one of them. I was behind someone on a busy street the other day that was obviously learning to drive a stick. People were on the horn almost immediately every time they killed the car leaving a light.

Most classes do require a certain amount of experience before they can take the class, the one I linked required ten hours.

So you get to get their feet wet, let them get their license without the stress or worry about a parent in the car, or in the family car for that matter.

But since the hair I have left is grey already, it isn't a risk I would want to take! Hopefully your step-son's dad shows you some appreciation for your efforts.

[gacook]

I've driven in Boston, San Francisco, L.A., and all over the world. Portland is no biggie

The busy street situation is exactly why I start in a large parking lot; nobody to worry about pissing off.

And I don't have to worry about my hair going grey--I have no hair!

[BlueSkyJaunte]

My parents decided to hire an 'expert' to teach me when it became apparent that my father and I wouldn't both survive his training sessions.