Sometimes having skills, sucks..
 

Ever get to the point where you wish you didn't have any knowledge or skill? Being the "go to guy". Such as auto repair, home improvement knowledge, and that sort of thing? Where its to when everyone calls you for advice or help to do something? Where you commit yourself to major projects, because you can do it yourself rather than, get someone to do it for you, and you get so wrapped up in it, and you get all stressed?
Lately I've been feeling that way and it is starting to get to me. I'm losing ambition to do anything anymore, and that is not like me. Last week, literally in the middle of painting a wall in my house, I just stopped and said F#!& it, screamed at my wife to call someone to finish it, and walked out.

I'm starting to wish I was your typical clueless, "don't know which end of a hammer to hold" yuppie that just pays everyone to do it for them, and nobody bothers.

It's called "burn out".

Don't feel bad.....I get it about this time every year,

All the time. Even the little stuff lately. Its been a busy month and I had a bunch of yard work to do. Trimming the hedges was the big part...I have a few that need a ladder. I was working with my too short hedge trimmer and still managed to slice my good extension cord in half. Grr... F it, I'm gonna have someone do this.

welcome to my world.

I spent my last vacation doing a trans flush, repairing AC, suspension work-

ALL OFF PHONE CALLS.

rjp

Your burned out.....until you see the price that someone else is going to charge you. Then, you just suck it up.

Yup, hit me about a year ago and with the stress of the wife losing her job it has just gotten worse. I just don't give a crap anymore

+1

I'm like that at work. That's why I had to work all day both Saturday & Sunday this week. Because "...we can trust you to get things done..." So I have get assigned - not asked - to work all weekend to do others' work for them. And the boss left over the weekend for vacation.

Btw, this is after a typical M-F week of 12 to 14 hour days, and I'm salaried so I don't get overtime pay.

Lets put it this way, yesterday I called someone to come and take my 944 free of charge , because I didn't feel like putting in a new fuel injector...

Yep, and I also find myself ducking people, because I know if I pick up the phone, or if they catch me ,they are going to want something. I've been going seven days a week for the last 8 years, I just want some time to myself . I've got enough personal projects to last me the next 5 years.
We have two unfinished rental houses, and I have ZERO drive to go down there and throw tools and money at them. I've been urging my partner to sell them off.

Yeah I can relate..retired now 3yrs. (38 yrs. in the trades) and I often just do not feel like getting into the projects and minor home repairs. Usually I got to pump myself up to do that stuff, however once I start I will to see it thought. But I have no problem with running/ jogging lifting weights,cycling and tinkering with the car.

I had hit bottom about three weeks ago. I actually took my truck to a shop to have a coil pack put in it because I didn't want to deal with it. It cost 300. dollars but I didn't have to mess with it. Mrs Crusty got worried because I have never taken a car of mine to a shop for anything ever.
Take a break and do something fun / different and when asked if you can do something you don't want to mess with just say so. It is very liberating!

You need to learn how to say NO!! I got sick of being taken advantage of by "friends" years ago. I had a roofing project of my own and tried to call in a favor from a guy I helped a ton of times, after several unreturned calls, I left a message that I really needed help getting the shingle dumpster loaded before Monday and if he didn't show up, we were done, guy didn't show, but about a year later called all apologetic and wanted to be friends again and surprise, he needed a favor- nope.

Now, I barter up front and let them do something unskilled for me in exchange for my help- I had one guy rake my yard because winter was coming fast and I helped him with a bathroom remodel. After awhile, you only help people that pay you back. I have about three different guys who we trade help with. Other people I just tell them that I would love to help, but I'm up to my eyeballs with my own stuff.

Buy a new tool, you'll feel better.

No, Small word hard to say, learn it, learn it well

It's not just doing favors for other people. It's my own things.

.

I know how to paint, and I'm pretty good at it.

But if I can pay 2 guys $20/hr each to paint,

And do my regular freelance job for $60/hr, and be VERY good at it.

I net $20/hr and the crap got painted twice as fast I have some sanity and I generated a micro-economy of sorts.

Sometimes it's worth it, even when you know you could do something yourself.

Vinman it's called "life getting in the way of living". I'm tired of it as well and advised my son to get a condo or just keep renting. 30 years in my home and I'm still working onit. So tired.

Ya gotta learn to distance yourself from long projects...Anything more than an afternoon these days, gets $$$ thrown at it.. My appetite for liability has gone way down. Call me if want your stereo replaced, call Bobby (my buddy) if you want an engine pulled. Engine pulls ain't cool....

We all just have a knack for getting un - ****ed when we mess with stuff, that's why we get calls. Time for the next generation to tinker and learn, we're out to pasture.

Having skills and a trailer http://forums.pelicanparts.com/suppo...leys/loki5.gif

It's got to be related to age, stress and priorities. I agree with Vin. My own chores have just become a frustrating annoyance.

Went out to trim hedges yesterday. Got fed up...took out the chain saw and buzzed them down to ground level. Gone. The entire side of the house (that no one sees but me) is completely shrub and maintenance free.

Would have never done that a few years ago. But...weekends just got a little easier!

I make quite a good bit of money working on RVs right before Burning Man.

That's how I feel about my house. Added a 3rd car garage in early 2013, still haven't even put a damn garage door opener on it. I basically do whatever is required to keep my wife happy, which recently has constituted remodeling basically the entire ground floor and half the upstairs. The rest I'll get to.......someday.

I'm the go-to car guy in the family, which is ok to a point. I am careful not to over extend myself with certain individuals that will take all they can. At some point I offer my services for a discount over what I would otherwise charge.

We're not alone; this mirrors my life and I hear about this more and more from those that I call "the capable". I'm the "go to" guy everywhere I go - work, home, friends, family, community - AAAARRRRRGGHH! I especially have trouble with the vacation thing - can't go because there's too much to do...

It can be a tough cross to bear Vinnie, but what would you rather be, the guy that can do everything or the guy that needs help with everything?

Treasure what you can do, set some boundaries and enjoy your gifts.

I too have hit a wall when it comes to projects around the house. It takes a lot to motivate me on a Sat or Sun morning. I think the trick is not to think about it too much. Push yourself to get up a little earlier and just do it. My biggest problem with getting someone in to perform a service is that I feel, no, I know I can do the correctly ie: better than they. If only I was a little younger and my back felt good!

Being in the plumbing / construction business is a cross to bear at times. Family, friends and neighbors all ask for help for the smallest and seemingly easiest job. Lately I've had an attitude while helping others. The bottom line really is that I am sick and tired of working, period.
My Dad started me working with him at 7 years old. I worked every damn summer vacation with him as a kid. I worked full time night jobs while putting myself through college. I work 6am to 6pm every day. At 59 yo I don't see myself retiring for the next ten years. I guess I'm just tired and burnt out.

I feel your pain Vinnie.

Well, let me inform you that it really sucks to be the guy lacking skills too. For the last two years I am in the process of building a large pond and a greenhouse. I have no skills what so ever and no money to pay those who have. I have had to learn everything from my own mistakes. Digging through Internet for guidelines learning how to make concrete floors, building stone walls, gluing pressure pipe, building fences etc etc.

What a drag is has been but I have come a long way and feel pretty proud about my work.

I have "skills" so people are always asking me to fix something for them.
......... I don't mind so much but I really don't appreciate being called during work hours about freebies.

As far as being burnt out. Why not just do what you like doing for a while and just be polite and say NO. I've done that and it worked out OK.
Or just don't be so accommodating. It's your life so do what you want to do and nothing more.

The thing is my ex wife once tried to use it against me. After our divorce... She was complaining about money and how much it cost to get her car serviced.
She was trying to squeeze more money out of me. I just sat on the end of the phone in silence.
Then she pikes up and says. "It's easy for you, you do your own work and that's not fair". :rolleyes:

I like your attitude Markus. That's basically how I learnt to work on cars but there was no internet then. I had to actually buy books and read them! :eek: lol

Well said. Pretty much this. It's your life after all.

I don't mind a call about something simple like a plumbing job I can do for a neighbor in an hour but I'm burnt out on pretty much all other projects. After all the big projects over the last 15 years and really most of my life, I just don't have it in me any more.

I don't mind some mechanical projects like changing shock or springs on my car or a little performance upgrade or maintenance but I don't like doing much else. Certainly no house projects but I don't even feel like an engine rebuild or something I used to enjoy. Of course the flip side is I hate to pay someone else to do something I'm capable of doing but too lazy to do.

Several friends watched (from a distance) as I put in my sprinkler system by myself. After I was done I had a few friends call asking if I would help them with their system. I told them I require a cold beer and I will show them the basics of how to lay out the system and head spacing. Past that I simply am not interested in digging in the dirt.

One of the few good things about getting older is most of my friends are older as well. For many years a lot of friends had cars that needed a simple brake pad replacement. I helped a few friends do a simple brake pad swap. I would tell them up front, I don't expect to get my hands dirty, I will be there to advise. Now at my age most of my friends can do a brake job themselves or afford to have it done.

Interesting thread. I am working from home today because we are completely redoing our kitchen (down to bare walls) and all the new stuff arrives today and needs to be inspected, etc.

I have some skills but am so sorely lacking in others (carpentry for example) that I'll save up to pay someone to do it right. As well, I'll hire out some jobs just because there are only so many hours in a weekend and if I'm dicking around with dry wall or plumbing no one is getting all the other farm stuff done.

My problem now really is the mundane stuff around the farm. Without my kids here to help it is no fun at all. It is lonely in fact. My daughter works in Arizona and my son just left for his junior year in college. We had a great summer together but it only highlighted the fact that he'll too will be on his way soon enough.

After many thousands of hours on tractors the last twenty years, the thrill is gone...I have begun to rue getting on tractors to mow, etc.

Not *****ing, and I still enjoy working at the shop at my own pace. A tell tale for me was a spreader rebuild I did this summer. It is a 800lb rotary spreader that fits on a three point hitch behind the tractors. I have had it for 15 years. It needed it's second "refresh" this summer. It sees pretty heavy use in over seeding, fertilizer spreading, lime application, etc. I clean it after every use, but the little bits get corroded and worn.

Seven year ago when I did the first refresh, I took everything down to bare metal, primed, sanded, primed again, sprayed the parts the exact color twice, etc. I put on new nuts and bolts, gussied it up. It looked new.

This summer: down to bare metal, primer, primer and primer. No sanding in between coats, no gucci paint job. Any nut, bolt or washer that looked serviceable was re-used. Just the way it goes.

About 30 years ago, my boss taught me a valuable lesson.

Things had been crazy busy and I knew I had been falling behind. One day the phone rang and it was the boss, calling from head office. He asked about a couple of the projects, wasn't happy about what he heard and proceeded to rip a wide strip.
When he hung up, I sat there in shock for a few minutes, then realized he had dumped all those projects on me. There had been no way I could have completed everything on time. I got about half angry and called him back.
When I got him on the phone, I asked him how he expected me to do all the stuff he wanted. He laughed and said he was trusting my judgement. If he asked me to do something and I felt I wasn't able to do it, I should have the good sense and judgement to tell him "No."

The SOB was right.
Les

I am the go-to "car guy" or can you fix anything with an engine guy within the family...I'm always fielding stupid questions and requests...for free.

Esp in relation to many people (incl many on this forum) I don't feel like I know that much about cars, just have a certain mechanical ability I guess.

This thread is very timely. I usually do one big project around the house per year. (There's plenty that needs doing).
A big new picture window, roofing, fencing, paint.... just something to make the place look a bit better.

This year, I couldn't even find the energy to decide which project to tackle, so I made a conscious decision to take the year off.

I have a million ideas, I know how to do a lot of stuff and I have the tools and the funds to get things done, but this lap of the sun, the mojo wasn't there, so basic maintenance has been good enough for me...

Thanks to all who feel the same way. I'm even more assured that I made the right decision...

One of my skilz is being able to politely say no to people who would take advantage of me by asking me to do stuff fer free/at a discount.

My billing rate is slightly higher than the guy in the yellow pages ;)

I stay busy enuff with my own stuff, let alone working on other people's stuff.

Oh dear. Books no less! :D

I remember remodeling the kitchen. I ripped off all the doors, ripped up the floor, ripped off the counter-tops. That was the first day.
I buiilt a new partial wall, removed an island, and installed a new oak pantry that needed to be finished.
I knocked a hole in the wall and created a walkway from the kitchen to the family room where there was just wall before (properly braced and structurally sound).

I ended up doing an oak laminant on the cabinets with new oak doors which I stained and finished.
I built new wood structures for the counter-tops and hand laid tile. I installed a new sink and stove cook-top.
I laid tile on the floor of the kitchen and dining room. All in 6 1/2 days.

When I got done, wife wife asked me how I knew how to do all that stuff. I said I didn't. That was the first time for any of that.
She said how did I learn?
I said I figured it out. I thought about it. I studied. I did the homework. I learned. I planned. I put in the effort.

When it was done I was really tired though.
It would have been so much easier to ask someone to do it for me ;)


I was younger then. If I had to do it over I'd just write the check.

I used to have that problem with "friends" wanting free computer repair (my day job). I started charging $50 an hour and that crap went away fast. Car repair? unless your my lady or in the inner circle of hades with me, i'll let you know that i am far to busy to take care of your problem for you. I'll bombard you with the things you need to look into, but its up to you to figure them out. Everyone wants a free ride and as soon as you touch their crap you own it, any little thing that messes up with it is your problem and they are calling you at 2 in the morning "MY COMPUTER GOT A VIRUS" or "MY CAR WON'T START YOU MESSED IT UP" (you did the brakes).

No sir, homie don't play that. F' em.

Is it a age thing ,hit 50 don't seem to care.

I too am going to build a small greenhouse at my place, Markus - as well as maybe a few shade houses. My plant collection has really grown and I miss having a greenhouse and propagation area - much more efficient and ergonomic if you're a hobbyist. Good luck with yours - please keep us posted. ;)

Sometimes you just have to take a break, Herr Oberst - join the club.

For me, at this point - it's just too freaking hot and humid to do a whole lot outside other than what is necessary. When the cool weather arrives - Florida is one of the best places to be - and I will get back on the hamster wheel.

:cool: