I Have Failed
 

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My DIL is active in Pit Bull rescue and was at the vets a few weeks ago with some PB pups that she was caring for. A couple came in with this Gordon Setter and wanted to have it put down. They were moving and it wasn’t convenient to keep him.
DIL went ballistic (as I would have) as there are so many options for an unwanted dog short of killing him. She told the vet she would take the dog and find it a home. Barnaby had been neglected and possibly abused. He was wormy and dirty and 25% under weight, but his physical symptoms were just the tip of the iceberg of his troubles.
Well, two foster homes later he arrived at my house. He was shy and wouldn’t eat at first by my two dogs, my fiancée, and I gave him all the love and attention he could want. Long story short, I couldn’t do it. The more comfortable he became here the more evident his emotional problems became and this morning I turned him back over the DIL, who is going to adopt him herself. I feel sad and guilty and I’m still not sure it was the best thing. I could probably have saved this dog myself but it would be at the expense of my dogs and my home. I feel like crap.

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Barny got stuck in a bedroom for 5 minutes and tried to dig his way out.

I understand completely what you are going through.

Wow, man..... so sorry to hear that.

An abused and neglected dog presents a whole host of challenges which often take many years to overcome (if at all). It takes a long time and a lot of resources to build trust and confidence with the dog and you just didn't have those luxuries. Don't blame yourself, at least you gave him a chance and that's more than most people would do. Hopefully your DIL will have the time and patience to help him get through his issues. I've found that sometimes those turn out to be the best dogs in the end because they've seen the dark side and they eventually see you for the good master that you are.

Best of luck to both you and her, and thanks for giving Barnaby a shot.

How many other dogs do you have? Sometimes its helpful for the emotional problems for the dog to settle into a pack. Of course, s/t that does not ever happen. And hard on the well formed pack, with their "roles" within the pack, and to you defined and then all goofed up with the addition. Can DIL handle the fellow? At least the dog remains alive! Good luck!

I'm afraid there isn't a "right way" to deal with that situation. Either path has some kind of consequences.

But, you "did right" by helping your DIL give the dog a chance. You don't deserve to feel guilty about that. You're a mighty good fella for trying to give him a home.

You gave it your best!

My grandma took in a little dog with a similar history. The dog still won't go to the bathroom not on a pad in the house, is neurotic, almost trips my 84 y/o grandma daily... If grandma didn't love her so much, none of the rest of us would let the crazy little dog hang around.

Sorry for your experience but you did more than 95% of people out there ever would. You're certainly no failure for that.

Here's hoping it works out with her. People suck. Neglect is a form of abuse and the previous owners deserve a heapin' helpin' of karma for being so reprehensibly poor in their behaviors.

^ ^ ^ ^
This.
You're a good man, Patrick!

failed..BS..
you can't save them all..
but you can try to make a difference..
as mentioned..
you tried..
thank you for that..

Rika

You & DIL saved the dog's life, Patrick. I wouldn't call that a failure.

Maintaining a proper social environment for your family is important - 4-legged family that is. You can upset that dynamic by bringing in the wrong personality, so no need to explain any further what went down.

The important thing is efforts are maintained to continue to work with saving Barnaby.

No offense, but maybe his name isn't doing him any favors...hint...hint.

Thanks to you and yours for doing what you did.

Not a failure at all! Just an animal lover trying to help another creature that cannot fend for himself. You are a good guy, it shines through in post after post. Job well done.

I was reading the recent Pit Bull thread looking for some old posts I had made re my DIL's activity in Pit Bull rescue, and came across this.
I'm happy to say 4 years later Barnaby is alive and well and living with my DIL. He chewed his way out of a wire dog crate once, destroyed a metal doorknob, and some other stuff. But he is on sedative meds now and hasn't gone ballistic on anything in years. He does well with rescue's foster dogs that come and go and is still a most beautiful dog to look at.

heartwarming :)

Not a failure, heroic effort more like it. We have two dogs and two cats. I see old dogs all of the time through a website we rescued a blind senior dog through who was a love and we had her from 12 to 14 1/2 when she passed. I would love to help them all and maybe when I retire we will do more directly. For now I give them money. You did great, I wouldn't have lasted half that long.

You tried.

It’s all anyone can ask.

BTDT too.It was an abandoned Vizla hound and it was a terror. I had to giver her away due to damage done.

We had a foster for a while. Came from a kill shelter with some emotional problems.
The house still bears some of the scars...

He too has a forever home now. TBH the owners are better people than I could ever hope to be - that creature had some serious issues.

Wow! "Failure"? Hardly. Even amongst us dog lovers, that's putting in an admirable effort into a dog maybe too far gone. You did what you could.

I posted in the current pit bull thread about our experience with an emotionaly damaged and destructive rescue. After six months of training, love, and a position in a pack, I never made any progress, and made the decision to put her down as apposed to spending good money on ACL surgery. You just can't save them all.

Nice read.
Thanks for taking the time to close this thread on a happy ending.

Get a copy of The Dog Whisperer series: https://www.cesarsway.com/
Great show. There's a lot of human personalities contained in them which affect the dogs way of acting. How we think and how dogs think are totally different. The anxiety disorders can be overcome but only the correct way of reprogramming will work. Else it's just banging the head against the wall. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Doesn't work.

I missed this thread before now....

I wanna "fail" like Patrick when I grow up :)

You rock...

Ha, didn't even see all of the posts and how old they were, sounds like all ended well and you and your DIL did an amazing thing.

"Better Living Through Chemistry". :cool:

My house did too. We put him in the basement during the 4th of July. There were some fireworks going off in the hood and we thought he wouldn't hear them down there. He did. My gawd from the sound you would have thought there was a bear down there. He was chewing on door casings, running from one door to another, foaming at the mouth. I was afraid he was going to hurt himself until I tried to corral him, then I though he was going hurt ME. He is seriously damaged, but under control now and happy. Sits on the sofa with my grandsons and watches TV. :)

Ours was the same. He was surrendered as uncontrollable - 75lb 2 years old male and unneutered - to a kill shelter. Passed all the temperament tests. Pulled from death row when my wife offered to foster him. Awful separation anxiety. Mild dog aggression - wouldn’t back down. Had to be leashed at the dog park. Needed constant exercise, and if I’m honest medication. Couldn’t leave him alone with the kids - ours were small - as he needed an alpha present. He tried to take that spot a few times, and neutering didn’t help. If he was alone for even a few seconds and there was a piece of wood around he’d chew it. I gave up when he ate the stairs. And I mean ate - destroyed a ton of expensive hardwood.

It was a long 8 months. Shame too - he was very trainable. He went to another foster and then to a forever home. He lives there fine with two other dogs. That’s a dog that many would have written off because of his looks, but he’s in a house with other dogs and kids and everyone is happy. The new owners tolerate his nervous chewing - which he still does - way better than I did. So if you failed, you aren’t alone. Everyone has a breaking point.

You didn't fail, you didn't compromise, you made the right decision. 1 person can make a difference.

Can I have some of those meds???

The little dog I rescued has one annoying habit and that is he is always licking his dick...but hey if I could lick my own dick I would be doing it all the time to>

you failed..........

and you are surprised?

Do you read the crap you post on parf??????

HA!

C'mon man...what happens in PARF....stays in PARF!

Keep chargin' Patrick......SmileWavy

Had no idea this was an old thread when I started reading. Glad to see the happy ending 4 years later. Happy endings are good!

Especially at our age!

There were two old guys sitting on the porch rockin' and talkin'. One of them had a dog that laid there licking his dick. One old guy said, "Man, I wish I could do what your dog is doing." The other one say, "It's OK with me, but if I were you I'd pet him a little first."