This is why I don't trust someone who isn't a scoundral
 

This whole Cosby thing has got me thinking...We all know lots of people. Is it my luck or basically human nature that the ones that seem (appear) to be the most straight laced and 'good' always seem to have a really dark side under it all? And the guys (and ladies BTW) that are pretty up front about the sins they committed or commit are never the ones that do the really creepy stuff?

You just may enjoy reading this:
A long time friend of mine - Dr. Brad Blanton...
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http://www.radicalhonesty.com/2014/11/13/how-to-get-over-****-and-be-happy/
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TROUBLE—

The reason we usually choose to not tell the truth is to avoid some kind of trouble. We lie to avoid trouble. The trouble with avoiding trouble is that you cause more trouble by avoiding trouble than the trouble you had in the first place!

Lots of times the trouble we worry about never happens. But sometimes trouble really might happen if we tell a particular truth. Go ahead! Life is trouble! Lying gets you in trouble. Honesty gets you in trouble. The question then becomes “What is the best kind of trouble?”

And the answer is that the trouble that comes from honesty is the best trouble. Not only is it more fun, more easily handled, much more easily shared—it makes it possible to get some help figuring out how your mind has been interpreting incorrectly. When you are lying for the sake of self protection, you can’t get any of the kind of help from others that you need—vital feedback for the quality of your life and theirs as well.

In personal relationships, by making the trouble from telling the truth, we actually end up with relationships that are real, lasting, authentic, and intimate.

Most of us think the “avoiding the truth” kind of trouble is the way to get to intimacy in relationships because that is what we have been taught all of our lives. Big mistake! One of the biggest! Just another bull**** thought that caught on!

Lying, particularly through withholding, secrecy, phony politeness, etc. is a killer.

Only reason he got into TV was because he hated what he saw and wanted to make a difference.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1416376700.jpg

It could be just "your luck," Mike. "Human nature?"

That's a broad term.

And it could go either way on everyone you've ever met.

You can't/shouldn't generalize this kind of stuff... if you did, you'd be judging almost everyone you meet based on first, second, or third impressions.

You have to invest in anyone you meet to find out what they are.

I'm sure you wouldn't want someone judging you based on people "like you" they'd met in their past.

It's a crapshoot, eh?

There have been times when I've lost confidence in my ability to be a good judge of character... based on someone "flaking" on me when there were no signs that it was going to happen.

But later, I would many times remember things that were "tells."

And tell myself, "I should have seen that coming."

But I didn't.

It's those times when I realized and grew from the experience. You have to take each person day by day, bit by bit.

Yeah, it's kind of a crapshoot... live and learn... don't judge a book by its cover... never underestimate the power of love... all those "slogans" apply here.

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We gain experience when we're able to read the small print.
We gain wisdom when we can't.
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And the beat goes on, brother, eh?
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;)

People come in all shapes and sizes. That said, yes, those that espouse their righteousness the loudest often hide a darkness.

I've witnessed that more than a few times!
Can we all sing along in Am, with an augmented 13th?... "Religiosity".

You mean like a "shadow self?"

aka, deception.
Also known in the psych community, '...a well-disguised impoverished psychological atmosphere.'
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Ooo wee, aren't we gettin' down 'n dirty...

I have certainly seen a few people that wear their superior morality on their sleeve and with symbols on a bumper sticker and company literature. Anyone that pushes that agenda is someone to be leery of.

I know many people that just go about doing their personal and private business in a 100% honest and ethical way and never talk about it. It is done right because it is the right thing to do.

A doctor that would know once told me that Incest is most prevalent in the Bible Belt areas...

We're monkeys with automobiles and credit cards. The second you start telling a monkey that they can't do this or that, we begin to repress and at one point it all comes out. How it comes out is anyone's guess but the more repressed, the darker the outcome.

Well put.

Every man has his demons..........

Sometimes good people do bad things.
Sometimes bad people do good things.
There are no absolutes. We are all human, and fallible.

A Catholic once told me: Every saint has a past. Every sinner has a future.

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a2...ps1c7a0645.jpg

And:

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a2...ps1a32818c.jpg

Pretty sure Mr. Holloway didn't intend a religious spin when he started this thread.

In the light of his statement (i.e. human nature) interesting how those who claim to hate the self righteous come off as... well... self righteous.

Someone said something like "we are most offended when we see our sins preformed by others."

Back to the OP. Why would anyone want to deal with a scoundrel? If someone is a known liar, thief, low life why deal with him or her at all.

There was a famous scoundrel based in SE Oklahoma. Gene Stipe.

Gene Stipe - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

He was all powerful and ran the state legislature and his part of the state with a boss hog like iron hand. He finally went to jail and the state was a much better place with him in jail. His political machine is still running things down there but the power has faded from the rest of the state.

Anyone wanting to do business in that part of the state back then had to deal with him.

So, you're saying that people who are dishonest about themselves are not to be trusted? I'll agree with that. I'll also suggest that just because someone makes an effort to appear honest and forthright, that does not mean they are hiding something. I think it comes down to whether your words and actions are motivated by a standard you hold yourself to, or by how people perceive you. The measure of a man's character is often determined by what they would do if nobody could ever find out.

I don't recall were I read this, However it went something like this.

We are all three people.
The person we think we are.
The person other people think we are.
And the person we really are.

The Element Of Irreducible Rascality as Alan Watts calls it (we're all a little bit of a bastard)
Jim

the devil ya know...

I like this. I don't have any perfect friends, because they are honest. NOBODY is perfect, and those that pretend to be normally suck to hang out with.:cool:

Interesting thread but I really don't think the theory is valid in all cases.

I've known lots of "straight" people who just live a normal life.
However... I have got better at sussing people out. If you spend enough time with someone you soon get a sense of whether or not you can trust them.

And often there is no way to know what's in someone's head until it's to late.

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Years ago I met a lady through a friend. At first she seemed conservative and nice but somehow I got this sense that something was wrong or she was hiding something.
So I didn't follow up or communicate with her in anyway.

As it turned out she was having a long term sexual affair with her half brother (same father, different mother). That just floored me but after the shock wore off I wasn't surprised.

There are some sick people out there.

I have a wide selection of people I know. I can't say we are friends but we are friendly. Some are 'churchy', some are quite, some are loud and obnoxious, some are partiers, some are hard core. i have to tell ya, the ones that aren't all that righteous and tend to drift to the bad said form time to time seem a lot more honest. The goody goody and the 'churchys' seem to have a certain creepiness factor after you get to know them through the years.

I think there are more times then less I would rather deal with folks that i know will cheat or lie from time to time - at least there are no surprises and basically I know what I'm getting into.

I remember my Father told me once (when I was 17) to look to marry a girl thats been around...a lot. Don't marry a virgin. His philosophy was that if she falls for you, you were better then all those guys. If she cheats on you it won't be a big surprise, and chances are she is pretty well school in what she likes and maybe how to please as well. The up side on top of it all is that if you fall in love with a 'slut' and accept her for her past, she will look at you different (maybe) then all the other guys that just used her like a whore. For what its worth I didn't take his advice with my first wife, or my second...we shall see ;-)

Gene Stipe!! I remember him well.
He ran McAlester. His ghost still does...

Carter