This is why I don't trust someone who isn't a scoundral

[M.D. Holloway]

This whole Cosby thing has got me thinking...We all know lots of people. Is it my luck or basically human nature that the ones that seem (appear) to be the most straight laced and 'good' always seem to have a really dark side under it all? And the guys (and ladies BTW) that are pretty up front about the sins they committed or commit are never the ones that do the really creepy stuff?

[Don Ro]

You just may enjoy reading this:
A long time friend of mine - Dr. Brad Blanton...
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http://www.radicalhonesty.com/2014/11/13/how-to-get-over-****-and-be-happy/
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TROUBLE—

The reason we usually choose to not tell the truth is to avoid some kind of trouble. We lie to avoid trouble. The trouble with avoiding trouble is that you cause more trouble by avoiding trouble than the trouble you had in the first place!

Lots of times the trouble we worry about never happens. But sometimes trouble really might happen if we tell a particular truth. Go ahead! Life is trouble! Lying gets you in trouble. Honesty gets you in trouble. The question then becomes “What is the best kind of trouble?”

And the answer is that the trouble that comes from honesty is the best trouble. Not only is it more fun, more easily handled, much more easily shared—it makes it possible to get some help figuring out how your mind has been interpreting incorrectly. When you are lying for the sake of self protection, you can’t get any of the kind of help from others that you need—vital feedback for the quality of your life and theirs as well.

In personal relationships, by making the trouble from telling the truth, we actually end up with relationships that are real, lasting, authentic, and intimate.

Most of us think the “avoiding the truth” kind of trouble is the way to get to intimacy in relationships because that is what we have been taught all of our lives. Big mistake! One of the biggest! Just another bull**** thought that caught on!

Lying, particularly through withholding, secrecy, phony politeness, etc. is a killer.

[Nostril Cheese]

Only reason he got into TV was because he hated what he saw and wanted to make a difference.

[Heel n Toe]

Originally Posted by M.D. Holloway

Is it my luck or basically human nature that the ones that seem (appear) to be the most straight laced and 'good' always seem to have a really dark side under it all? And the guys (and ladies BTW) that are pretty up front about the sins they committed or commit are never the ones that do the really creepy stuff?

It could be just "your luck," Mike. "Human nature?"

That's a broad term.

And it could go either way on everyone you've ever met.

You can't/shouldn't generalize this kind of stuff... if you did, you'd be judging almost everyone you meet based on first, second, or third impressions.

You have to invest in anyone you meet to find out what they are.

I'm sure you wouldn't want someone judging you based on people "like you" they'd met in their past.

It's a crapshoot, eh?

There have been times when I've lost confidence in my ability to be a good judge of character... based on someone "flaking" on me when there were no signs that it was going to happen.

But later, I would many times remember things that were "tells."

And tell myself, "I should have seen that coming."

But I didn't.

It's those times when I realized and grew from the experience. You have to take each person day by day, bit by bit.

Yeah, it's kind of a crapshoot... live and learn... don't judge a book by its cover... never underestimate the power of love... all those "slogans" apply here.

[Don Ro]

Originally Posted by Heel n Toe

And it could go either way on everyone you've ever met.

It's a crapshoot, eh?

There have been times when I've lost confidence in my ability to be a good judge of character... based on someone "flaking" on me when there were no signs that it was going to happen.

But later, I would many times remember things that were "tells."

And tell myself, "I should have seen that coming."

But I didn't.

It's those times when I realized and grew from the experience. You have to take each person day by day, bit by bit.

Yeah, it's kind of a crapshoot... live and learn...

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We gain experience when we're able to read the small print.
We gain wisdom when we can't.
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And the beat goes on, brother, eh?
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[HardDrive]

People come in all shapes and sizes. That said, yes, those that espouse their righteousness the loudest often hide a darkness.

[Don Ro]

Originally Posted by HardDrive

People come in all shapes and sizes. That said, yes, those that espouse their righteousness the loudest often hide a darkness.

I've witnessed that more than a few times!
Can we all sing along in Am, with an augmented 13th?... "Religiosity".

[tabs]

Originally Posted by HardDrive

People come in all shapes and sizes. That said, yes, those that espouse their righteousness the loudest often hide a darkness.

You mean like a "shadow self?"

[Don Ro]

Originally Posted by tabs

You mean like a "shadow self?"

aka, deception.
Also known in the psych community, '...a well-disguised impoverished psychological atmosphere.'
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Ooo wee, aren't we gettin' down 'n dirty...

[GH85Carrera]

I have certainly seen a few people that wear their superior morality on their sleeve and with symbols on a bumper sticker and company literature. Anyone that pushes that agenda is someone to be leery of.

I know many people that just go about doing their personal and private business in a 100% honest and ethical way and never talk about it. It is done right because it is the right thing to do.

[LakeCleElum]

A doctor that would know once told me that Incest is most prevalent in the Bible Belt areas...

[Rusty914s]

We're monkeys with automobiles and credit cards. The second you start telling a monkey that they can't do this or that, we begin to repress and at one point it all comes out. How it comes out is anyone's guess but the more repressed, the darker the outcome.

[Don Ro]

Originally Posted by Rusty914s

How it comes out is anyone's guess but the more repressed, the darker the outcome.

Well put.

[Gretch]

Every man has his demons..........

[cashflyer]

Sometimes good people do bad things.
Sometimes bad people do good things.
There are no absolutes. We are all human, and fallible.

A Catholic once told me: Every saint has a past. Every sinner has a future.

[BE911SC]

Originally Posted by cashflyer

A Catholic once told me: Every saint has a past. Every sinner has a future.

And:

[scottmandue]

Pretty sure Mr. Holloway didn't intend a religious spin when he started this thread.

In the light of his statement (i.e. human nature) interesting how those who claim to hate the self righteous come off as... well... self righteous.

Someone said something like "we are most offended when we see our sins preformed by others."

[GH85Carrera]

Back to the OP. Why would anyone want to deal with a scoundrel? If someone is a known liar, thief, low life why deal with him or her at all.

There was a famous scoundrel based in SE Oklahoma. Gene Stipe.

Gene Stipe - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

He was all powerful and ran the state legislature and his part of the state with a boss hog like iron hand. He finally went to jail and the state was a much better place with him in jail. His political machine is still running things down there but the power has faded from the rest of the state.

Anyone wanting to do business in that part of the state back then had to deal with him.

[Taz's Master]

Originally Posted by M.D. Holloway

This whole Cosby thing has got me thinking...We all know lots of people. Is it my luck or basically human nature that the ones that seem (appear) to be the most straight laced and 'good' always seem to have a really dark side under it all? And the guys (and ladies BTW) that are pretty up front about the sins they committed or commit are never the ones that do the really creepy stuff?

So, you're saying that people who are dishonest about themselves are not to be trusted? I'll agree with that. I'll also suggest that just because someone makes an effort to appear honest and forthright, that does not mean they are hiding something. I think it comes down to whether your words and actions are motivated by a standard you hold yourself to, or by how people perceive you. The measure of a man's character is often determined by what they would do if nobody could ever find out.

[dan88911]

I don't recall were I read this, However it went something like this.

We are all three people.
The person we think we are.
The person other people think we are.
And the person we really are.