I won't say who I sent this to but they wanted me to share it. Many of us have had friends at the end of their rope. We watch from a distance and they implode. Few folks reach out and when it gets to that point it may be too late.
I had a friend recently that wasn't at the point but not in a good way. Normally I really do mind my own business but they (in a round about way) asked for advice. I'm really not qualified to give life coaching lessons but because I want to be loved and feel important I shared some ideas. Seem to have taken hold. They thought that I should share it but not go into details about their struggles. I respect that. So here are the ramblings...nothing Earth shaking, no revelations or magic. Just a few ideas.
I'm sure there are more techniques and tools and ways to do it. This just seemed to work pretty good is all.
Quote:
I know sometimes life can get really overwhelming and the stresses of trying to just get by seem to over take you. Seems like the easiest thing to do is simply give up. But don't.
It's not darkest before the dawn, it gets progressively lighter and that's life. Sure, there is some stuff going down with you that seems rather hopeless. The money, the relationship, the mistake you keep making...but its no reason to throw it all in and give up.
You need a change of perspective. A long cold walk. A drive on a twisty road. Sit someplace for awhile where you have never been - and while your doing any one of those think back at some of the worst times in your life. Is this the worst? If so, OK but there were times that were bad as well. Now think, what got you out of them? Time. You may or may not have done anything different but as time went by they went as well. That's hope but you can't just not do something and wait. You have to act.
Now your there again. Could be your fault, maybe just bad luck. But you know it wasn't all by chance. The advice you have given to others says a change has to be made. You know what you have to do. I don't mean to come off as a dick but if you were wearing a stupid hat that was just a really stupid hat I would tell you its a stupid hat - ya, I would laugh about it good natured but I would tell you because after you figured it out you would be pissed at me for not saying 'hey, that's a stupid hat dude, WTF?!?"
It won't be easy, in fact it will suck but it will be working to get out of the funk and back on track. And like any new way of being it will require focus and attention. no slacking off! You can do it -just takes the choice and decision. You told me the harsh **** you were able to deal with years ago. Well today will be years ago in the years to come.
You will feel better sooner then you think if you just set forth some small goals to reach. Build on each - doesn't have to be big ones. Eat that elephant one bite at a time. The universe is made up of atoms...one at a time.
You will need help but you won't find it outside. You actually know what to do to heal and set right. But you will need some tools. Try this. It may sound silly but trust me it works.
1) Write down some really short term goals to help get a handle on the stress. Can't be anything huge but reasonable. These goals should be in lone with the big one, the one you need to tackle. Its important to write them down. I don't know why by us humans seem to respect stuff that's written. Maybe it gives legitimacy to it or something - doesn't matter.
2) Now figure out the steps to tackle each one. I know this sounds really elementary but just do it.
3) Accomplish - check them off as you go. Don't worry so much about not getting it done faster, just do each thing right, the way you would tell your kid to do it or a friend or a co-worker.
4) Keep a trigger to remind your self to stay focused, on track because once you get a few things nailed down your gonna get comfy and compliant and drift back to the old ways that got you there to begin with. Put a coin in your pocket, get a tattoo on the back of your hand, carry a pen around. Something that will be a reminder to stay the course. Its a bit silly but it works. The talisman is strong ju ju because it appeals to the tool user that is human and helps us kinetically apply the abstract.
5) Keep the right thoughts going, push out the bad ones. You can only think of one thing at a time so why not keep working on the good ones?
6) Now send me money...it will make you feel great! No really, a bag of hundreds...
7) Just kidding about the money...seriously. Just know that your not alone in your despair you just think you are.
Stay strong and battle on my friend...
|
Maybe this will resonate with one of you lurkers...(a bag of $20s would suffice).
01-10-2015, 04:31 AM
