My first Monkey Roll in a long time

Whilst carrying several containers out to the detached garage last night, a misplaced foot on the first of 3 steps down led to an almost perfectly executed monkey roll. Had I been judging, I'd have given it about a 9.1. Hand placement upon landing was the main point suck. Also lost one of two house shoes. The containers all survived intact so points added there. After rollout, a quick systems scan showed nothing major, so I hopped up to complete the assessment. Besides a couple of minor abrasions, the left knuckles on small digits immediately swelled to epic proportions. First thought was "Oh Fawk, busted hand. Fingers wiggled just fine and no major pain, so I completed aforementioned task of toting containers to garage. Returned to house and proudly showed now very pregnant paw to main squeeze who eeked in horror and insisted on visit to ER. ER peops were properly impressed with swellage and enjoyed many made up stories how the incident may have happened. Xpics showed no structural damage, so assumption was a big ole hematoma. $100 copay later, main squeeze is diving me back home to a very comfortable 7 and 7 and bag O ice.

[yetibone]

Pfft! I bust my hands up like that so often I don't even feel it anymore.

[ckelly78z]

It pisses me off when I have to stop working because the blood is getting everywhere from a busted/cut finger.

[Nostril Cheese]

tis but a scratch.

You will know real pain when you've broken and degloved three fingers all at once.

[Bugsinrugs]

Duct tape and spit.....keep on keepen on

[Noah930]

Where were your twin cold steel katanas?

[HardDrive]

Glad you're not badly hurt.

[look 171]

When I read your title, I started laughing. It reminded of an old client once when we were talking on his porch. He missed a little step and rolled down a few steps and did one more roll on the grass before he stopped with all kinds of grass on his head. He was ok and I am glad you are too.

[Bill Douglas]

That's a pretty big story to make up.

Why don't ya just admit to the missus that ya been brawlin at the pub

[DanielDudley]

That's an ice worthy wound, but you couldn't get me to the ER for that. I'm glad it wasn't your head, and don't think your ''squeeze'' hasn't thought about that...

[KevinTodd]

I hear you.

I was on a run last week and took the first fall I've had in the street in quite some time. I tripped on an uneven section of sidewalk and executed what my running buddy said looked like the most perfectly planned fall he had ever witnessed.

He said that the motion was so fluid--from me taking a full superman-like dive to the pavement, to the perfect monkey-roll, and back to my feet and in perfect stride, no less, was like a stuntman in a movie.

He held his breath until it was apparent that I wasn't seriously injured--then he laughed about it with me all the way home.

Ahh yes....battle scars.

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas

That's a pretty big story to make up.

Why don't ya just admit to the missus that ya been brawlin at the pub

HA! That's what the nurse asked!!!

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Where are your hookers?

[Gretch]

Did that once decades ago with a baby in my arms...Amazing how the fist, instantaneous thought was "twist, curl up, encapsulate baby!"......

That memory is still fresh in my mind, even to this day.

I am not sure I ever felt the knocks, bruises and what not that were the result of doing a full gainer down four stairs to a concrete pad. I do recall my little girl was "amused".......

[vash]

Originally Posted by Noah930

Where were your twin cold steel katanas?

properly sheathed and crossed in his belt rig..across his back....of course.

[LeeH]

The monkey rolls aren't nearly as much fun at 50 as they were when I was a kid. Had a bad one a couple of years ago.

Met a guy at the park next to my house so I could demo a pitching machine I was selling. He liked it. I was carrying it toward his car when he commented on what I nice day it was. I looked up at the sky and almost immediately stepped off the edge of the sidewalk, rolling my ankle. I started falling forward as I cradled the 35 pound (and tentatively sold for $300) machine in my arms. Cartoon-like, I kept running faster and faster as I *almost* caught my balance. Key here being the "almost."

Was just about at a full sprint when I finally accepted the fact that the machine and I were going down to the sidewalk together. I sacrificed myself for the machine and did my best to set it down with zero forward momentum. This involved planting it as gently on the pavement as humanly possible (while sprinting) and letting the inertia carry the rest of my body into a somersault. My hands were still on the machine as I tapped into my martial arts training and managed to have my entire body land flat at the same time, the sole of my shoes being the exception, striking the cement a split second later with a loud pop.

I found myself staring at the same blue sky that had started this whole nonsense three seconds earlier. I kept waiting for the pain to start and realized the only sensation I had was a warm, wet one on my left hand. I looked curiously to see what was going on and saw a small puddle of blood forming. There was a jagged 1" gash below my thumb where it had caught a sharp edge on the pitching machine as I performed my acrobatics.

I'm pretty sure other than possibly a little blood, that the machine didn't have a mark on it. I got a new scar to add to the collection but didn't suffer any other damage.