Please gently critique me (editing )

[afterburn 549]

Done here, thanx a bunch!

[nynor]

sorry AB, that is pretty bad.

[recycled sixtie]

Too intellectual for a Dodge forum. You have to dumb it down a bit. Inject works like Ram tough and hemi and you might stand a chance...

Guy

[gordner]

Originally Posted by afterburn 549

To preface;
Over on a dodge forum there is mostly do it "my way", "dads way" or some other "experts way" of doing things.
So i suggested we all back up and learn to answer questions and advise with some validity, Rather then the Parrot answers with ambiguous results .
My paragraph was thrown off by the mods at hand becuse it was said not understandable and no one else (except 4 people could read it .)
So i ask, what is wrong with it?
It follows below -
` ` ` ` `
The confluence of the Parrot(ing ) professor Problem:
As I / we , walk the tight rope here between sophomoric and loyalist I have to admit it is a challenge to broach certain subjects.
Lately I have had to clinch my teeth look for pseudo ways of presenting a logical "control " at the risk of the crowd with painted stripes.
It does in fact become a little jaundiced to both parties involved , where one is on the offense for no reason and the other screaming what they have not ever really known as a defense and will even gather even others for the witch hunt.
So many times a new thought to those here albeit is a proven scientific law, is thumbed at like the catholic church did to Galileo.
With out asking one question, found guilty, and a conviction is due handed over..
Pretty sad that periodic tables have to be proven over and over again to whom who present themselves as teachers of such.
Or, proof of the evidence is lots of times scoffed at by those who have not ever climbed over the outer edge of the box.
They, by Merrily repeating so called known answers propagating unknown facts is a diesel religion I and others have noticed here.
As a test,- if the repeaters of much have not ever thought about elementary things like piston speed i would suggest they and we all hit the books and teach rather then scold others for being wrong just because they have not the ability to figure out the simple equation and principals involved.
I am suggesting rather then putting dwn said thoughts and being parrots, that i, we answer with some "known" values, or at least a postulation that points to your theory.
Not just saying it was said the earth is the center of the universe or Cummins is too.There for believe and shut up.

oi, I started trying to correct as i read, but really this does border on incomprehensible. It sounds as though you are writing to attempt to look smart, and failing at it, not to be mean.
Why not just write it in plain languaged unembellished with verbose words and thoughts? Quite clearly this is not how you think, speak or write normally. Don't try to sound so smart man! Write it in the same language you would use to convey it to someone in conversation.

[afterburn 549]

I was trying to be polite , to get them all reassess their wicked evil ways of disregarding basic "known" science "

[herr_oberst]

Pretty much the only thing I can see wrong is that you used "clinch" instead of "clench'.

Try it! It changes the whole context of the paragraph!

[VaSteve]

Wow, what a mess. I spent about 5 minutes and got this far:


The confluence of the “Parrot(ing) professor” Problem:

As I walk the tight rope between sophomoric and loyalist I have to admit it is a challenge to broach certain subjects. Lately, I have had to clench my teeth look for ways of presenting a logical "control " at the risk of offending the loyalists. It does in fact become a little jaundiced to both parties involved, where one is on the offence for no reason and the other screaming what they have not ever really understood as a defense. The defense side will even gather even others for the witch hunt.

So many times, a new thought to those here is thumbed at like the Catholic Church did to Galileo although it is a proven scientific law. Without asking one question a conviction is handed over. Pretty sad that the Periodic Table has to be proven over and over again to whom who present themselves as experts. Or, proof of the evidence is lots of times scoffed at by those who have not ever climbed over the outer edge of the box.

By merrily repeating so-called “known answers” and thus propagating unknown facts is a “diesel religion” I, and others, have noticed here. As a test, if the “repeaters” have not ever thought about elementary things like piston speed, I would suggest they (and we all) hit the books and teach rather than scold others for being wrong or because they do not the ability to figure out the simple equations and principals involved.

I am suggesting rather than being “parrots” of information read on the internet, but not experienced, we answer with some "known" values, or at least a postulation that points to your theory. Not just saying it was said the earth is the center of the universe or Cummins is too. There for believe and shut up.

[afterburn 549]

OK, thanx!
synonyms and cinnamon's elude me lots of times . LOL

[winders]

It is very difficult to read. The lack of proper punctuation is the major problem. But the use of words is terrible also. You say "clinch" when you should use "clench". Why use "pseudo" there?

It is hard to read and not clear. Don't be so wordy and just say what you mean. Use proper punctuation. Don't use so many metaphors and colloquialisms.

[afterburn 549]

OK
It was articulated to make them think.......I over did it, under did it.
thanx for the help

[john70t]

(I tried to re-write it)
"Not to offend anyone here but I wish people would look into new subjects with a fresh approach, on it's own merits, and not pre-judge something they don't understand."

[Paul_Heery]

Honestly, I cannot provide any constructive criticism or edits as I could not understand the point(s) that you are trying to make.

I suggest that you try again starting with an outline of bullets points that you want to get across. If those can be understood, you probably will not need to provide anything additional.

[afterburn 549]

Well,
With the "dodge crowd" you can tell em. But you can not tell them much.
Instead of the usual argument" who is right wrong", I approached it all from a different angle as how to set up the experiment.
Wow, real facts! (imagine that") LOL
It was met with a immediate hornet attack no matter how it was going to turn out.
That was in fact stated .
Predisposed ideas are like the roots of a bad religion.
No one will even look the other direction, so i tried to ply with illustrations and word concepts.
I flunked.

[RANDY P]

Don't forget all the excessive emoticons. No forum post is compete without them.

rjp

[winders]

Originally Posted by afterburn 549

Well,
With the "dodge crowd" you can tell em. But you can not tell them much.
Instead of the usual argument" who is right wrong", I approached it all from a different angle as how to set up the experiment.
Wow, real facts! (imagine that") LOL
It was met with a immediate hornet attack no matter how it was going to turn out.
That was in fact stated .
Predisposed ideas are like the roots of a bad religion.
No one will even look the other direction, so i tried to ply with illustrations and word concepts.
I flunked.

Even this is difficult to read. Work on proper punctuation and stop using metaphors and colloquialisms. In an attempt to be eloquent your text is unclear and wordy.

[afterburn 549]

What, when, and where should such be used ? ( metaphors and colloquialisms )
Its my normal manor of speaking (with illustrations so its a difficult task but will attend to it.)

[stomachmonkey]

Please don't take this the wrong way, it is not meant to be a knock or insult.

I have a couple of friends, one my best friend the other a former girlfriend.

He is moderately dyslexic, she is severely dyslexic, but both are smart and well spoken.

Your writing reminds me of theirs.

It looks and reads to me as, mild to moderate.

Have you ever been evaluated?

[afterburn 549]

Originally Posted by RANDY P

Don't forget all the excessive emoticons. No forum post is compete without them.

rjp

Yes, the emotion soldiers are well equipped in most cases to advance their cause with no known facts. LOL

[afterburn 549]

Thanx all for the input .
I will work on it.
Over and sometimes out.

[stomachmonkey]

This is an example of the x's writing.

She's 45, she does not speak this way at all.

There is a disconnect when she puts words to paper and she honestly can not see it. To her it looks like what's in her head. Everything for her is like a google translation of a foreign language.

i hope everyone had merry christmas and thank all for been a friend it the greatest gift of all for me am very lucky. Thanks for all great time sent talking text cards calls fb stop by the bar hi in passing in storie i wish all a great year more time more happiness