Houseguest that doesn't leave.
 

Wow. Wife's friend came over at 10 am. Ate lunch over here

She went for a hike with my wife. They came back and she took a shower because she said when she gets home it will be too late. Oh boy! In for the long haul.

I cooked and fed her dinner. Still here. They are just talking. My house is small and I can't just sit here and watch basketball.

Oh boy. My wife is yawning but the obvious hint is lost in translation.
My wine supply is dwindling.

Any fun house guest stories to share?

thank goodness we don't have any friends.

We had this guy, not really a great friend because he just didn't say much to anyone. He would come over to the apt. and just sit and hang out without much to say. Often he would just watch TV and just sit until 1-2 in the morning. We all fall asleep and he still there finishing up TV and eat. He was very good about paying for pizza because he knew this guy who work at the local pizza joint so it was cheap. We lost contact years ago, but always thought what he's up to now?

Need to start your story with:

"I'm a student at a small Northeastern college and a long time reader of your magazine. I never thought those stories were true, until . . . "

you can give the guest a pamphlet on homeless shelters and mental health programs.

Time to start farting at full force.

When my dad had quests that wouldn't leave he would excuse himself and go put his pajamas on and come back to the living room. They figured it out. :)

Pajamas... and lots of scratching and farting.

Took a shower? Dude, where o come from when a girl takes a shower at your place she is wanting to get vertical and very oral.

The Utah game was good, ND was better but you may have missed your chance at some serious strange in favor of filling out your brackets.

Is she hot ? What did she change into? She bring a change of clothes ?

The whole thing smacks of scandal.

facepalm....I won't even bother with an emoticon. Just typing it

Had a roommate while working my first job out of college. Super nice guy. He told me his unemployed niece was coming to Atlanta from Chicago for a visit with the idea of moving there. Since the house belonged to me, I told my roommate that his niece could just stay with us while she was in town. To be nice, I said she could stay in my room (ie master bedroom) since it had a private bath and that I would stay in the guest room.

When the niece arrived, she had her (also unemployed) boyfriend in tow. Neither me nor my roommate knew he was coming. After a couple of days of them just hanging out on the couch, I finally asked what their plans were. "The plan" was to spend 2-3 WEEKS, possibly a couple of MONTHS poking around Atlanta to see if they liked it and really wanted to move there. My roommate and I immediately had a meeting where we both agreed that this wasn't working for either of us. He broke the news to them the next day that the boyfriend wasn't part of the bargain and that they had to make other arrangements. Took them a couple of days to find other friends to stay with and clear out.

Why do people do that siht? Don't they know its wrong to impose on others?

Haha, are they getting plastered drinking? That'd be the only excuse. Taking showers at someone's home without previously exercising is weird. I think this friend may have a crush on you and his hoping to spend the night. Keep us updated! You can post in the sex after marriage thread! :)

G

Wrong. The operative words are "my house". When guests stay too long, politely say you've got other things to do and it would be great if they would come again and visit another time. Just make sure the wife is on board with you up front. If they can't take the hint then turn on the game and make it loud.

Maybe she and your wife were hoping to get naked and wild, and were looking for some interest from you to participate, but all you wanted to do is watch basketball.....Oh Boy indeed !

Need photos of both.

Houseguest that doesn't leave.... We've all had them.

There's no easy or standard way to let someone know it's time to go without offending them.

I just don't contribute to the conversation. Just sit quietly until they get the message.

At the end of a cup of coffee or other small marker (even the end of a story or recollection in your conversation), etc., just say, "It's been great seeing you. Spouse and I have some work we need to do. Let's get together again."

An alternative is to tell the visitor that the text/email you just got on your phone is something that you and spouse need to attend to. No, it's not an emergency, but we need to respond. Could just be a "family thing."

Stand up and start collecting their coats/hats/etc. and walk with them to the door (and to their car if needed). Can be gentle/supporting/smiling. The earlier you do this, the more smiling you will be.

Like so many couples, develop a secret, non-verbal gesture that communicates to your spouse, "Get me out of this...." Then you'll both know you're on board with ushering the visitor out the door.

Dude. 3 way.

If diplomacy doesn't work you can always bomb 'em. The interesting thing is these people who are unable or refuse to take the hints are generally NOT going to be insulted in any way by flat out telling them it's time to leave. Even if they are insulted or whatever, who cares? These are not friends. Next time do what I do-don't answer the door.

Went to a small family dinner party a few weeks ago. Four people were invited. 15 people, including 3 snot buckets and a toddler showed up. My solution was to be first in line at the buffet table. The hostess was clearly not amused by the hoard of uninvited in-laws.

Disambiguation: She was PO'd.