Houseguest that doesn't leave.
 

Wow. Wife's friend came over at 10 am. Ate lunch over here

She went for a hike with my wife. They came back and she took a shower because she said when she gets home it will be too late. Oh boy! In for the long haul.

I cooked and fed her dinner. Still here. They are just talking. My house is small and I can't just sit here and watch basketball.

Oh boy. My wife is yawning but the obvious hint is lost in translation.
My wine supply is dwindling.

Any fun house guest stories to share?

thank goodness we don't have any friends.

We had this guy, not really a great friend because he just didn't say much to anyone. He would come over to the apt. and just sit and hang out without much to say. Often he would just watch TV and just sit until 1-2 in the morning. We all fall asleep and he still there finishing up TV and eat. He was very good about paying for pizza because he knew this guy who work at the local pizza joint so it was cheap. We lost contact years ago, but always thought what he's up to now?

Need to start your story with:

"I'm a student at a small Northeastern college and a long time reader of your magazine. I never thought those stories were true, until . . . "

you can give the guest a pamphlet on homeless shelters and mental health programs.

Time to start farting at full force.

When my dad had quests that wouldn't leave he would excuse himself and go put his pajamas on and come back to the living room. They figured it out. :)

Pajamas... and lots of scratching and farting.

Took a shower? Dude, where o come from when a girl takes a shower at your place she is wanting to get vertical and very oral.

The Utah game was good, ND was better but you may have missed your chance at some serious strange in favor of filling out your brackets.

Is she hot ? What did she change into? She bring a change of clothes ?

The whole thing smacks of scandal.

facepalm....I won't even bother with an emoticon. Just typing it

Had a roommate while working my first job out of college. Super nice guy. He told me his unemployed niece was coming to Atlanta from Chicago for a visit with the idea of moving there. Since the house belonged to me, I told my roommate that his niece could just stay with us while she was in town. To be nice, I said she could stay in my room (ie master bedroom) since it had a private bath and that I would stay in the guest room.

When the niece arrived, she had her (also unemployed) boyfriend in tow. Neither me nor my roommate knew he was coming. After a couple of days of them just hanging out on the couch, I finally asked what their plans were. "The plan" was to spend 2-3 WEEKS, possibly a couple of MONTHS poking around Atlanta to see if they liked it and really wanted to move there. My roommate and I immediately had a meeting where we both agreed that this wasn't working for either of us. He broke the news to them the next day that the boyfriend wasn't part of the bargain and that they had to make other arrangements. Took them a couple of days to find other friends to stay with and clear out.

Why do people do that siht? Don't they know its wrong to impose on others?

Haha, are they getting plastered drinking? That'd be the only excuse. Taking showers at someone's home without previously exercising is weird. I think this friend may have a crush on you and his hoping to spend the night. Keep us updated! You can post in the sex after marriage thread! :)

G

Wrong. The operative words are "my house". When guests stay too long, politely say you've got other things to do and it would be great if they would come again and visit another time. Just make sure the wife is on board with you up front. If they can't take the hint then turn on the game and make it loud.

Maybe she and your wife were hoping to get naked and wild, and were looking for some interest from you to participate, but all you wanted to do is watch basketball.....Oh Boy indeed !

Need photos of both.

Houseguest that doesn't leave.... We've all had them.

There's no easy or standard way to let someone know it's time to go without offending them.

I just don't contribute to the conversation. Just sit quietly until they get the message.

At the end of a cup of coffee or other small marker (even the end of a story or recollection in your conversation), etc., just say, "It's been great seeing you. Spouse and I have some work we need to do. Let's get together again."

An alternative is to tell the visitor that the text/email you just got on your phone is something that you and spouse need to attend to. No, it's not an emergency, but we need to respond. Could just be a "family thing."

Stand up and start collecting their coats/hats/etc. and walk with them to the door (and to their car if needed). Can be gentle/supporting/smiling. The earlier you do this, the more smiling you will be.

Like so many couples, develop a secret, non-verbal gesture that communicates to your spouse, "Get me out of this...." Then you'll both know you're on board with ushering the visitor out the door.

Dude. 3 way.

If diplomacy doesn't work you can always bomb 'em. The interesting thing is these people who are unable or refuse to take the hints are generally NOT going to be insulted in any way by flat out telling them it's time to leave. Even if they are insulted or whatever, who cares? These are not friends. Next time do what I do-don't answer the door.

Went to a small family dinner party a few weeks ago. Four people were invited. 15 people, including 3 snot buckets and a toddler showed up. My solution was to be first in line at the buffet table. The hostess was clearly not amused by the hoard of uninvited in-laws.

Disambiguation: She was PO'd.

Take a note from Dueller from his similar thread back in the day.

We live in the Mountains an hour/half from the City. In an area a lot of people come to recreate. I call our house the "Free Resort". They love to come spend the weekend.......Continual company.

To the point our friends from Australia have recommended us to their wife's sister/family that have been here twice. Friends from Belgium come every few years. 5 weeks last time that included a 3 week trip thru the West in our Camry to the tune of 4,500 miles. His grown kids come here with their kids. Friends from England came because he likes my wife's fried chicken. The best one is:

A friend from Canada goes thru a bitter divorce. Ex-Wife comes to see us for 4 or 5 days. She had fresh slash marks from where she tried to do herself in. Doesn't even hide those in front of dinner guests she doesn't know. Spends most of her time eating and sleeping - she's huge. THEN, she takes my laptop and changes the settings so it boots directly to Yahoo signing into her email and messenger......When she left, I deleted some of email address book. They were those of mutual friends that didn't want anything to do with her....

The trade off is that my Belgium friend loaned my his MR2 for a month last summer. I put 2,600 miles on it.....We stayed with his daughter/husband 3 nights. I had his son's BMW R1000 for a day to ride to Spa.....It all works out......

Sounds great. The missus and I have been wondering where to go for our next vaca. What's your address and number. We'll be up soon. ;)

You're clearly a generous couple and a people person.

Just what I was thinking!:D

Just a note - he's no longer married to her.

Hah these are good stories. I have no over welcome guest stories but my father once told me a story where and old neighbour of his had a friend that often showed up around dinner time and would invite them selves for dinner. Well after this happened a couple times they got sick of it, so the last time they immediately cleared the dishes off the table, set the plates on the floor for the dog to lick clean, then put these plates directly back into the cupboard. The couple never came over for dinner again :)

I know what you mean.

I had that situation years ago. Thinking "WHEN are you going to leave." But over the years I've got used to my girlfriend being here :D

The few times this has happened I have just said, "Okay it's time for me to go to bed, now you are welcome to join me or go to your own"
I am so glad my wife has a sense of humor

The last, and only time that happened, it turned into a 3way. Is she hot?

I actually helped a buddy pack his bags and walked him to his car. He followed me back into the house! So I asked him, 'Did you forget something?'

The only way I could be freed from his company was to suggest we take separate cars to breakfast, after which I did not go immediately home.

Problem I had last week and the 2nd time in a year:
Traveling with a retired guy. One snowmobile trip and one MC trip.

They say, "Why don't I come and spend the night and we get an early start". " I say, I have a lot to do that day, come about dinnertime".......One shows at 10:30 am and the one last week shows at 1 PM when I'm not even home........I thought my HINT was "I have a lot to do that day?"

Since our daughter went away to college we've had enough houseguests that I now refer to our house as the "Hotel California".

In the past two weeks, for example, we've had my father-in-law (he likes to "vacation" at our house, i.e., get away from his wife), my daughter w/ boyfriend on spring break and a cousin and her husband for Persian New Year. All with overlap. Most so far we had was eight at once sleeping over for a wedding.

And we thought we'd have "empty nest" syndrome once the daughter left. I wish!

My wife and I are very private as far as having houseguests in the house (it's just not big enough for entertaining). We do, however, have a big campout around the long 4th of July weekend where 2-3 other couple with thier kids bring thier campers and we all camp in our big back yard where we down some beers and burn some steaks over the open campfire, and shoot off fireworks. Lots of fun, but other than showers and bathroom breaks, the house is off limits.

Dear Penthouse it all started when my wifes friend................:D

We just finished Spring Break with my young son and his three best HS buddies, all who stayed here for over a week. I would personally like to thank the inventor of the basement, without whom I would be thanking the inventor of the crawl space.

I have just 2 comments on this.

#1 - I bought my house before I met my wife... She is kinda like a house guest that won't leave and depending on the day, I am okay with that...

#2 - My parents retired and moved away from the Chicago burbs where I grew up and sold there house to my sister. I love my sister, but she has 6 kids ranging from can't drive to can't walk and as a result her house always look like the aftermath of a teenage house party... So my parents have taken our spare bedroom as their "cottage of the north"... I love my parents, but they like all parents are a handful to deal with. I relive the sins of my youth (tripping over my dads shoes like he did when he was my age and I was kid)

My wife and I have joked that when we start house shopping in a few years we are going to look for places that have a 2:1 ratio (garage spaces to bedrooms) 4 car garage with 12' ceilings for a few 4 post lifts and 800 sq. ft of living space would be FINE with us.

Just burst into the room naked and yell: "Honey, get out the whipped cream!" Then stare awkwardly at the friend, and don't leave.

Show gun and knife collection.....scars....chicks hate scars.....

Vash still hasn't replied. Death by snu-snu? Or is he now homeless from following you idiots advice? ;)

I'm fine. Haha. Been busy.

Great responses