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-   -   From our questionable thinking files... (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/859585-our-questionable-thinking-files.html)

sc_rufctr 04-08-2015 03:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by widebody911 (Post 8565747)
If a train leaves Denver heading west @ 150kph, and another train leaves Melbourne heading east @ 200KPH, what is the mercury content of a 5g piece of sushi in Dakar?
14mg

Scuba Steve 04-08-2015 03:31 AM
...I leave these: a box of mint-condition 1918 liberty-head silver dollars. You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in Zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J.D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run of the house with a big washtub and...

Anyway, about my washtub. I'd just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as... a walking-bird. We'd always have walking-bird on Thanksgiving, with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called baseball...

Eh, why didn't you get something useful, like storm windows, or a nice pipe organ? I'm thirsty! Ew, what smells like mustard? There sure are a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood. Ooh, look at that one. Ow, my glaucoma just got worse. The president is a Democrat! Hello? I can't unbuckle my seat belt. Hello? There are too many leaves in your walkway..

Hawkeye's-911T 04-09-2015 09:19 AM
"Anything whatever which may be imperfectly specified
or imperfectly shown on the plans,
or shown on the plans and not specified,
or which may be specified and not shown,
must be taken and considered and done
as if it were both shown and specified perfectly"

"Weasel Clause" - as seen hanging in project engineer's office next to his P. Eng.

Cheers
JB

Eric 951 04-09-2015 09:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scuba Steve (Post 8567061)
...I leave these: a box of mint-condition 1918 liberty-head silver dollars. You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in Zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J.D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run of the house with a big washtub and...

Anyway, about my washtub. I'd just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as... a walking-bird. We'd always have walking-bird on Thanksgiving, with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called baseball...

Eh, why didn't you get something useful, like storm windows, or a nice pipe organ? I'm thirsty! Ew, what smells like mustard? There sure are a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood. Ooh, look at that one. Ow, my glaucoma just got worse. The president is a Democrat! Hello? I can't unbuckle my seat belt. Hello? There are too many leaves in your walkway..
Were you wearing an onion on your belt, which I hear was the style at the time...but you couldn't get white onions because of the war, which ended in nineteen dickety six, you had to say dickety because the Kaiser stole our word for "twenty", I chased after him but gave up after dickety-six miles.

tabs 04-09-2015 10:01 AM
Without pics of the woman this Thread is useless...then at least we would have the satisfaction of knowing whether she was worth hittin on.

Dare I say that this sort of Progressive thinking as evidenced by the OP is why this nation is in such dire straits. If all makes sense to the Progressives who nod their heads up and down like little Kewpie dolls in the back window of cars, but the rest of humanity just shakes their collective head wundering what the fk is this about?

FPB111 04-09-2015 01:13 PM
I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

afterburn 549 04-09-2015 01:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by scottmandue (Post 8566167)
I never wanted to do this job in the first place!
I... I wanted to be...


A LUMBERJACK!


(piano vamp)


Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of
British Columbia! With my best girl by my side!
The Larch!
The Pine!
The Giant Redwood tree!
The Sequoia!
The Little Whopping Rule Tree!
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!


Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.


CHORUS: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.


I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.


Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays 'e goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.


CHORUS


I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.


Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around.... In bars???????


CHORUS


I chop down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa.


Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels
Suspenders?? and a .... a Bra????
(spoken, raggedly) What's this? Wants to be a "girlie"? Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!


Read more: Monty Python - Lumberjack Song Lyrics | MetroLyrics
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/sZa26_esLBE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

wdfifteen 04-09-2015 01:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tabs (Post 8569244)
Without pics of the woman this Thread is useless...then at least we would have the satisfaction of knowing whether she was worth hittin on.
Well, I never saw her, so I can't help you with pics.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tabs (Post 8569244)
Dare I say that this sort of Progressive thinking as evidenced by the OP is why this nation is in such dire straits.
The nation is in dire straights because of people like this woman - who made a job killing move three weeks into her employment, and people like this cement contractor who was so incompetent he backfilled the job with concrete instead of gravel. I don't think their political affiliation had anything to do with their poor judgement.

afterburn 549 04-09-2015 01:37 PM
When i set up the tri pod for the laser level its important to get the bicemitry correct to avoid the confusion with additional cohesion escalation.
One must get the azimuth to the tangent in right blink order to avoid the hypotenuse distillation .
Significant obtuse leeway will be elongated in the retrieval of the print out .
Never ever hit the "BS now button" before setting the blink position center sensor first .
The blinks will become more frequent as the centered is moved more Left.
This just shows the innocuous of the subject at hand .

Nostril Cheese 04-09-2015 03:20 PM
I enjoy clowns and fire.

Scuba Steve 04-10-2015 03:30 AM
ABANDONED HOMEWORLD FOR SALE, CHEAP!!!
Custom desert-marsh conversion in galactic core, 12% oxygen atm., great weather, friendly native life (missing one moon). Great fix-er-upper. Must sell, alien invasion imminent. $3995 or best offer.

'85 TOYOTA COROLLA, CFN assault craft, former pizza delivery vehicle, moon roof, power brakes/steering, lotsa rust, muffler hole, doesn't start, automatic sliding transmission, broken driver's window, tear away bumpers, detachable interior paneling, interested call greg

GH85Carrera 04-10-2015 04:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scuba Steve (Post 8570211)
ABANDONED HOMEWORLD FOR SALE, CHEAP!!!
Custom desert-marsh conversion in galactic core, 12% oxygen atm., great weather, friendly native life (missing one moon). Great fix-er-upper. Must sell, alien invasion imminent. $3995 or best offer.

'85 TOYOTA COROLLA, CFN assault craft, former pizza delivery vehicle, moon roof, power brakes/steering, lotsa rust, muffler hole, doesn't start, automatic sliding transmission, broken driver's window, tear away bumpers, detachable interior paneling, interested call greg
How much for the Yota? Are you open to trades? I got some stuff to trade.


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