Your good buddy is getting married to the wrong girl for all the wrong reasons..

[fastfredracing]

Do you sit down with him , and let him know how you feel, ask him if he is sure this is what he wants? I, and everybody that knows him, and this girl, see exactly where this is heading. Divorce court within 2 years, and him loosing all his stuff. She went nutso on him last night when he asked her to sign a pre nup.
Poor guy slept in his car last night. She just moved in with him 3 days ago. He gave her the entire upstairs, and he moved into the basement. I dont think they even sleep together. She is mean... she drinks , was probably hot 10 years ago, but looks are fading, and she is looking to latch on to something. He is a total pushover for women.
He says , he does not care, he is sick of being alone.
He is a good friend, but also a grown man, I would like to think he knows what he is doing.
If I say something, do I run the risk of him always harboring ill feelings towards me, and thinking I don't like his wife in the very unlikely event that it works out, and they go the distance .

[ckelly78z]

Always cheaper to rent a good woman than to buy. You end up paying for it the rest of your life !

[fintstone]

Pretty much impossible to tell a guy anything when he is thinking with his penis. If she has moved in...it is over.

[OffCamber00]

I had the opportunity to be straight w/ a buddy about his potential mistake. I did not, and I regret it. He ended up in a terrible marriage, an even worse divorce and ended up w/ a kid to boot. The drama was so crazy that our friendship dissolved in the process as fallout. Not that anything would have changed if I had been bold enough to be honest. But at least I'd know I tried.

Tough situation to be in. Good luck.

[atcjorg]

Originally Posted by ckelly78z

always cheaper to rent a good woman than to buy. You end up paying for it the rest of your life !

+1

[VincentVega]

He is a good friend, but also a grown man, I would like to think he knows what he is doing.
If I say something, do I run the risk of him always harboring ill feelings towards me, and thinking I don't like his wife in the very unlikely event that it works out, and they go the distance .

good for you for caring but like you said, this is his deal. Find a way to tell him you are there for him and you are concerned for him. Just be happy you dont have to live with her.

[mikester]

Might as well warn him, friendship is likely over anyway. He will either tell you to take a hike, listen to you or do nothing.

Will you watch the ship sink or will you stay as a friend regardless?

[Rikao4]

if you don't..
he's an acquaintance..
not your friend..

Rika

[stomachmonkey]

Talk to him.

Odds are she'll eventually push all his friends away anyway.

It's pretty simple, if he dumps her now he will be alone until he finds someone else.

If marries her he will be alone in 2 years as well as broke and will be 2 years farther away from finding someone else.

[Baz]

Originally Posted by fintstone

Pretty much impossible to tell a guy anything when he is thinking with his penis. If she has moved in...it is over.

^^^ a lot of truth here ^^^

I have known guys who feel they cannot be happy without a woman....and sometimes they put so much pressure on themselves they make poor decisions and end up paying for it.

I've come to the opinion that some people just have to go through that trial by fire and no one or no thing will ever change their mind - it's going to happen.

I don't think anyone here can give you a perfect piece of advice because we don't know this person and his personality like you do.

I don't think it would hurt to tell him your opinion and in fact if you don't - you will do everyone a disservice - including his "fiance". Just choose a time to talk to him when it's just you and him without distractions and come across as sincere and that's all you can do.

Also, reinforce the "red flags" concept. I think anyone can relate to that.

[Oh Haha]

I made a mistake in marrying my first wife. My best friend had asked me if I was sure several times before the day. I assured him it was what I wanted. Before the ceremony, he suggested I still had time to slip out the back and he wasn't kidding..

2.5 years later we were divorced. He never once gave me anything but support through the hard times.

When I got married to my current wife, he was my best man again but this time he didn't suggest I slip out the back.

Ironically, he and his wife of 20 years divorced last year. Miles and family prevented me from being there for him but he had support from his family/friends that are near to him.

[cockerpunk]

id say something. but i wouldnt be mean about it.

[Oh Haha]

Forgot my point.



I would have a talk with him about it. If you are close, honesty is the best option.

[Baz]

Show him this, Fred....

[Baz]

Another good one.....

[Rot 911]

Originally Posted by Oh Haha

I made a mistake in marrying my first wife. My best friend had asked me if I was sure several times before the day. I assured him it was what I wanted. Before the ceremony, he suggested I still had time to slip out the back and he wasn't kidding..

2.5 years later we were divorced. He never once gave me anything but support through the hard times.

He is a good friend. I was the best man at my friend's wedding. During the wedding I was still telling him we could just turn around and walk out. His marriage lasted 3 years. He told me he wished he had listened to me. I really didn't expect him to listen, but I sure didn't want him asking me why I didn't say anything.

[wdfifteen]

I've never seen intervening in things like this work out. He may end the friendship, then the inevitable happens and he's alone and has lost a friend too. Probably the best way to be a friend is to stand by and watch the train wreck and be there to help him pick up the pieces.

[BK911]

Show him this thread!
Prenumpt is a no brainer.
No prenumpt no marriage.
Period.

[aschen]

Originally Posted by ckelly78z

Always cheaper to rent a good woman than to buy. e !

Good women arnt available to rent.

If you are in the market for a rental, however I recommend the opposite of good. YOu might want a really bad, horrible no morals type of women

[911SauCy]

Originally Posted by Oh Haha

I made a mistake in marrying my first wife. My best friend had asked me if I was sure several times before the day. I assured him it was what I wanted. Before the ceremony, he suggested I still had time to slip out the back and he wasn't kidding..

2.5 years later we were divorced. He never once gave me anything but support through the hard times.

There it is...

I did this a couple years back with my best friend. He wasn't excited about the conversation but respected my position and thanked me for my thoughts.

Needless to say, we had a couple quiet years but he's warmed back up since. His wife doesn't sound as great of a catch as the broad in the OP, but it's transparent why/what her motives are.

I love the guy and hope everything turns out 100%, but it seems highly unlikely.

FWIW, I signed one zinger of a prenup, didn't make me think twice. That's not why I got married