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-   -   rest estate "catch phrases" that make me run. (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/915565-rest-estate-catch-phrases-make-me-run.html)

Scuba Steve 05-24-2016 01:11 PM
Here In Charleston Realtors Like To Capitalize Every Word In Their Listing!!!

"GRANITE!!" - New Venetian Gold gets it sold! AKA cheapest granite known to man
"Finished room over garage!" - Area above the garage was converted to living space that will be hot in summer and cold in winter
"Appliances convey!" - fridge, washer and/or dryer are not worth moving.
"Roof recently replaced" - Roof was replaced during W's presidency. Second term if you're lucky.
"Open bedroom floorplan!" - There are no walls between the bedroom and bathroom (seriously, I saw this three times!)
"Newly renovated!" - Flippers were here. House will self-destruct in two years.

vash 05-24-2016 01:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aigel (Post 9133724)
= outdated 70s ranch style home hours from any decent job



You are welcome! :)



G


Just laughed so hard, I snorted.

Eric Coffey 05-24-2016 01:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gogar (Post 9133730)
Around here "Newly Renovated" means hastily flipped with the crappiest cabinets, floors, and fixtures possible.
Same here. You may see different verbiage ("recently updated", "fresh remodel", etc.), but it generally references the same thing: A quick/cheap amateur-level flip, usually by an owner/agent.

aigel 05-24-2016 01:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vash (Post 9133745)
Just laughed so hard, I snorted.
Haha - I must have hit a nerve!

G

vash 05-24-2016 02:12 PM
No. My house was vintage.


Sent via Jedi mind trick.

pwd72s 05-24-2016 02:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aigel (Post 9133724)
= outdated 70s ranch style home hours from any decent job

You are welcome! :)

G
Describes my home to a T.... parked on 1 1/2 acres and located on a road that goes nowhere, so I'm more likely to see farm equipment go by instead of a car. Fits our retired lifestyle perfectly. I feel for you who must live in an urban area in order to work.

Seahawk 05-24-2016 02:18 PM
"Fix-r-Upper" equals Scrapper-r-upper.

"Country Charm" means no zoning, a double wide and two starving horses as neighbors.

Steve F 05-24-2016 04:28 PM
As is :)

wdfifteen 05-24-2016 04:29 PM
Try, "Handyman special." It worked for me!

Eric Coffey 05-24-2016 05:27 PM
IMO, Jake (Notfarnow) here still holds the title with: "Not haunted". LOL... :D

legion 05-24-2016 06:39 PM
Must see!!! = RUN!!!!

Flat lot (in Georgia) = We tilted the camera and kept trees out of frame.

creaturecat 05-24-2016 07:52 PM
kid friendly = no peace and quiet. ever. before 9 pm.

tabs 05-24-2016 08:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles Freeborn (Post 9133678)
" Lots of charm" - means trashed
"hidden gem" - means trashed
"Quaint" Means small and probably trashed
"Potential" means trashed
"up and coming neighborhood" means crack houses on the block
How bout a Colorful up and coming neighborhood. Minutes away from a vibrant night life.

Which translates to being in the hood with lots of Gang life and shootings every night.

vash 05-24-2016 08:36 PM
Just saw:

Diamond in the rough.

Haha


Sent via Jedi mind trick.

look 171 05-24-2016 09:13 PM
cCustom workwork, original quality build ins=just bought cheap home depot kitchen and a bunch of sticks found in the trash pile and nailed together from when the house was built.

Bill Douglas 05-24-2016 09:46 PM
"Unspoilt Gem" means that no one has done ANYTHING to it for the last 90 years.

KFC911 05-25-2016 12:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric Coffey (Post 9134040)
IMO, Jake (Notfarnow) here still holds the title with: "Not haunted". LOL... :D
His "it's a brick house" made me LOL too....can't recall which one made a national news broadcast some years back, but the second it appeared on the screen I knew it was one of his too :)

djmcmath 05-25-2016 07:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric Coffey (Post 9134040)
IMO, Jake (Notfarnow) here still holds the title with: "Not haunted". LOL... :D
I am ABSOLUTELY using that line next time I try to sell a house. "Not haunted." Love it. :)

flipper35 05-25-2016 07:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vash (Post 9133411)
it's been kinda fun!!

i might be peeking at the light at the end of the tunnel..no details yet.

but i've enjoyed mostly the creative writings in house ads.

some notable and obvious ones that make me look away:
Contractor Special!
"bring your Contractor!"

less obvious:
Opportunity knocks...
ready to add some of your personal touches
location location location!!
make it your own.

these four kinda mean, "bring your contractor"

i think i've seen it all. i've seen a working toilet in a garage..just right there next to the vintage british car.( rover?)
i've chased down a owner's dog that got away from me since i didnt know it was in the garage (i'm a car guy, the garage is my first look)
one owner forgot her cell phone AND laptop on the kitchen counter.

its been so fun. suprising. but the house ads are the best.

i think "flipper" is a bad word..they use "recently remodeled".
I am NOT a bad word!


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