rest estate "catch phrases" that make me run.
 

it's been kinda fun!!

i might be peeking at the light at the end of the tunnel..no details yet.

but i've enjoyed mostly the creative writings in house ads.

some notable and obvious ones that make me look away:
Contractor Special!
"bring your Contractor!"

less obvious:
Opportunity knocks...
ready to add some of your personal touches
location location location!!
make it your own.

these four kinda mean, "bring your contractor"

i think i've seen it all. i've seen a working toilet in a garage..just right there next to the vintage british car.( rover?)
i've chased down a owner's dog that got away from me since i didnt know it was in the garage (i'm a car guy, the garage is my first look)
one owner forgot her cell phone AND laptop on the kitchen counter.

its been so fun. suprising. but the house ads are the best.

i think "flipper" is a bad word..they use "recently remodeled".

Haha

Some more I love:

"Great commuter location" = In BFE but next to the 8 lane freeway
"Newer carpet / microwaver etc." = Older remodel
"Breakfast nook" = Insufficient sit down dining space
"Cute as a button" = <500 sf house

I have more, just not coming to mind. What a crock!

G

Peek-a boo view!

Not so much a catch phrase, but a local realtor is a really horrible writer. He would regularly overuses the word "just".

Priced just right, this house is just the right size for a family. It's just minutes from the park, and you will just love the view. Just getting into a neighborhood just like this is hard to do. Just imagine yourself enjoying just the perfect day....

This same realtor also described a fence as "Rot Iron".

Amazingly, he is hugely successful.

I looked at a few places with a water view. Sure, if you count the puddle in the driveway. Turns out if the wind is blowing the right way, the leaves are off the trees and you lean out the window you could indeed see a few inches of the river.

Picky I'm sure but 'hard woods' instead of wood floors gets me. Another one is mentioning stainless steel appliances. Sure, they are the cheapest group you can buy with a stainless front panel. Why bother?

How about "prestigious neighborhood," which I translate to "expensive HOA and snooty neighbors?"

Similarly, I love the ones that try to write poetic verse, "A winding lane breaks forth into a joy-filled field of wildflowers, your own private park for a front yard, complete with spa-like atmosphere and a koi pond." And I'm thinking "$300/mo for a landscaper, plus whatever it costs to keep that stupid fish pond running!"

Everything within 5mi of downtown Seattle uses the word "vibrant." "Vibrant night life," or "vibrant city life," or whatever. Everything on Bainbridge Island uses either "rural" or "pastoral." Like Bainbridge is so far from civilization that you'd get credit for "rural" because it's a 5 minute walk to the ferry. SMH.

We have a toilet in the garage at the beach house. My dad wanted to be able to pee quickly, given that it's a 3 hour drive from their main house. So they built a small closet sized bathroom with only a toilet. The sink is actually in the laundry room just inside the garage. It works like a dream. Actually it makes the garage a better man cave, especially if you're outside BBQing and drinking beer and smoking cigars.

colorful neighborhood

House hunting is indeed a royal PITA. A tip of my hat to Vash for keeping his spirits up...

"Cute" = very small.

"Park-like setting" = long neglected landscape maintenance.

And while we're on the subject of real estate, why is it that real estate agents have smiling photos of themselves prominently displayed in all the RE ads? No other sales people do this...why only in RE is this a common practice?

"Cute" = "Cozy" = very small.

In the home we recently purchased, one of the selling features listed was "quad outlets", believe it or not.

"Eclectic" and "whimsical" means some eccentric nut job previous owner has made some changes that will need to be torn down.

"Artsy".

I see "move in ready" a lot. Bugs me. Yes Vash you have a high tolerance level. You are doing well and getting by their cr-p marketing okay. Wife and I have been in the same house for 30 years. Could not imagine moving unless I had to.:)

" Lots of charm" - means trashed
"hidden gem" - means trashed
"Quaint" Means small and probably trashed
"Potential" means trashed
"up and coming neighborhood" means crack houses on the block

Ha
Ha.

You guys are funny. Cynics. But funny.

The house I sold was a "country charmer". Haha.


Sent via Jedi mind trick.

When I bought mine, it said "newly landscaped." Literally, there wasn't a tree, bush, plant or flower on the property, the yard was weed filled, but there was some landscape rock around the foundation perimeter!

= outdated 70s ranch style home hours from any decent job

You are welcome! :)

G

Around here "Newly Renovated" means hastily flipped with the crappiest cabinets, floors, and fixtures possible.