Advice to your spouse if you go first....

[Bill Douglas]

DO NOT load all those porsche parts into a rubbish skip.

[Crowbob]

I'm giving everything to the people I love while they and me are still alive. Not one single number has ever come up...so far.

When I die, I will die with zero.

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by Laneco

I've written my obituary. It's in the safe.

+1

"Pete" had asthma. Co-worker. We were the staff of function with same boss.

Friday afternoon we were on the phone squalking about the boss. Both in late 30's. Fun, Friday afternoon BS session looking forward to the weekend.

Pete died that night at 39 from an asthma attack.

Bosses boss said check his desk out with a witness (boss out of town). Pete had a sealed envelope with "In case of premature death" written on the outside in the upper right hand drawer.

Pete had it covered. Just handed the envelope to his wife. RIP to a good man.

[Crowbob]

For forty years I've given paintings by my own hand, via whim and conviction, to friends and family.

Those pictures are my obituary.

I have recently embarked on a mission to track those pictures; to discover where they have ended up.

Hundreds of 'em.

[wildthing]

To be opened upon my death.

Dear Spouse:

...insert profession of love here, and maybe some apologies for the difficult time...

Now, here is where you will find passwords to bank sites, credit card sites, mortgage, etc etc.

Here are passwords to sites with automatically paid subscriptions you need to cancel...

Here's where to find insurance policies, will, living trust, Power of Atty., etc.

Here are other financial accounts...

Talk to this guy for financial advice, don't talk to this other guy. Talk to this guy about my investment in x.

Sell this, not that. This is worth x. Ask for help from this person.

And finally, I have two other kids you don't know about.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by Laneco

Please fall in love again with someone who will love you as I have and will treasure you all the remaining days of your lives.

angela

Great sentiment.

[sammyg2]

Advice to your spouse if you go first....

I'd tell her to put the seat down so she doesn't plop her butt unto the toilet water.

[J P Stein]

Originally Posted by Macroni

that's rich.... impart wisdom to my wife.......

She doan listen to a thing I say now.

[SCadaddle]

I'm a single fellow. Never married, no kids, never received a surprise Fathers Day card with free tickets to the Maury Povich show. I think I will just prepay for my funeral and although I am tattoo free, the thought of using Google Earth to get a "precise" Lat and Lon of the family burial plot, the numbers of which I might get tattoo'd on my arm so maybe somebody someday will figure out where to bury me.

But knowing my luck, The National Geodetic Survey will make several more adjustments to the Earth Centered Earth Fixed position and Windows 33 will be incompatible with Google Earth.

[wdfifteen]

We are both fully aware of one an other's finacial situation, where the accounts are, how much are in them etc. What I really lack is a good friend who understands the car collection and can help her liquidate it.

[widebody911]

"Dear," asked a wife. "What would you do if I died?"

"Why dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why do you ask such a question?"

"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife.

"No, of course not, dear" said the husband.

"Don't you like being married?" asked the wife.

"Of course I do, dear" he said.

"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

"All right," said the husband, "I'd remarry."

"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.

"Yes," said the husband.

"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" asked the wife.

After a long pause. "Well, yes, I suppose I would," replied the husband.

"I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my old clothes?"

"I suppose, if she wanted to," said the husband.

"Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"

"Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do."

"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too!?"

"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed."