The Difference Between - Failing and Not Succeeding
 

For the PP brain trust. I've been reflecting a lot lately on my last 10 years regarding my roller- coaster ride in my professional life, also to some extent my personal life. To the point I'm hard on myself, have high goals and thus high expectations. Those things that drive me are the product of my parents who fit squarely into The Greatest Generation.

The core of that is this: You can be anything you want to be, attain anything you desire as long as you work hard, educate yourself and don't give up.

Example: In the late 90's I had enough of the retail car business seeing that ultimately I was making everyone else wealthy. I put myself through many IT related short courses and found a help desk position with an attorney's firm. I thought I had succeeded until the firm was sold just after the IT implosion.......a double whammy.

Early 2000's I couldn't buy an IT job, very reluctantly went back to what I know but going on to work for a very prestigious BMW indie shop, making the most I ever had until the end of 2007 when the housing crisis pretty much did that business ( as most others) in.

Fast forward a few years. I scored a part-time gig with county government I currently work for now. Due to budget cuts in the division I was working, there was no full time position available even after 2 years of busting my @ss for pennies.

I then applied and accepted a position with the same county, but I'm essentially a mechanic. Also I had to start at the bottom there as that's how the 'system' works in the economy where good full time jobs are few, the willing applicants .............hundreds.

So my thought is I didn't score the full time IT office job but I did score a good position with a department that is considered essential. There is a lot more heart break, sweat, brokenness and disappointment that would take too long to explain. I'm struggling with at this point if I've failed or just not succeeded in my goals

(I'm 51) I think a lot of guys around my age are going through the same thing.

You haven't failed because you're still out there having a go. Failed would be sitting at home after having given up.

A movie I saw recently. "Blood Father" overall not bad but the lead character reminded so
much of guys I know who just drift around from job to job not getting much of anything done.

Limited opportunities does not make it your fault.

Would you move for a good job? I know that's huge.

Ambitious people tend to be too hard on themselves. Nothing is ever as good as it could have been. The same drive that makes us succeed makes us crazy, makes us doubt ourselves, and is the cause of much anxiety and unhappiness.
Be proud of yourself. In the words of John Wayne (or some other cowboy sage, I'm not sure) "Ya done good boy, ya done done real good."

I don't subscribe to this. Whatever I do or accomplish, its never enough. I have to take everything I do to the most extreme level, due to my fear of dying and that sickening feeling of regret once I get older.

I'm happy that other people can be satisfied with a less extreme existence, but that's just not me.

I went from ten years in the family HVAC business... figured I was smarter than that job (and working for family is not all so much fun).
Went back to school and got a two year AA tech degree.
Got a good job at Johnson Controls... economy went in the toilet and they had to lay a bunch of us off a year later.
At tech school they told us not to go into computers because you could take a 9 month class in IT and it would be a waste of our degree.
Did I mention the economy was in the toilet? I had friends in the computer industry and they got me assorted jobs configuring and then field service.
Hated that job and had a mini mental breakdown.
Found a job working for the state at a science museum, State job = great benefits & job security BUT low pay and huge frustrating bureaucracy to deal with at every turn.

Would love to leave the job but just a few more years to retirement... trying to hold on.

However more of a fail is my marriage... not sure I can or want to live with my wife the rest of my life but too old to start over :(

Losers say "it could be worse". Winners say "it could be better - now I just need to figure out how to get there"

I'm 57, love this area where I grew up. Being close to DC the most powerful city in the world, money and opportunities are abundant, but anything trade related is less so. Stastically speaking, the county I work for is in the top 10 in the country for wealth. Their total budget for 2017 = 2.99 Billion. Yes Billion.

They ( same county) rated highest in on overall compensation and quality of life for their employees edging out even the Federal gov- ment.

But my work is hard, grueling at times and not fulfilling.........kinda like its groundhog day - day on - day out. There is opportunity as over 27% of the workforce is retiring and I have worked hard moving up 2 positions in under 3 years.

hmmm.. An optimist says the glass is half full, a pessimist says the glass is half-empty, and an engineer/pragmatist says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
'
read: everyone finds the 'achievement glass' size that is appropriate to their needs, OCD or otherwise.

Are you out there every day trying to move forward? If the answer is yes, then you are succeeding. The storms are going to come...and go.

The way that I heard it was that some say the glass is half full, others say half empty. I am more pragmatic and realize that if I hang around long enough someone is going to have to wash that damned glass...;)

Yes, including, "The glass is as full as it's supposed to be."

Because I was thirsty ....

Everything in moderation.

Need to look at the big picture with family, health and succeeding in your career.

And who has the most toys :D

Too much flip flopping on the goals. If you want a full-time IT job, get a full-time IT job. Seems you gave up too quickly on that and it wasn't a real goal to begin with. And why bother with county jobs with red tape, low pay, and "grueling" work? Settle on the specific role you want, assess your probability and skills for that role, and be laser-like in achieving it. Try the private sector.

If you're a mechanic now, does this make you happy? Doesn't sound like it. Each day you do that job makes it more challenging to switch industries.

pbbbbt!

The operative word for this Thread and it's Posters en-total is BEWILDERMENT...your levels of conscious awareness about yourselves is dismal. there in lies those limitations in vision that I have been mentioning. Myopia...

Fact of life is that at the end of our day in the sun we die. So what in between becomes most important, wealth, fame, position and power? I would like to see anyone take it with them? Most I imagine at the end would trade it all to just enjoy having a glass of water.

I came to this ^^^ conclusion when I was 20 years old. So what becomes important in the face of it all. Our capacity to love and show kindness to others, for there go I.* So at 20 with a fierce determinism I set out down the road of self awareness, learning about myself and the human condition. In this ongoing endeavor of decades (which one might say is a life's work) I have been successful beyond my wildest dreams. I am astonished at what I know and can do now. So I have won no accolades or awards for achievements in this world, but I have peace of mind and can navigate any shoals with aplomb.

What men have to learn is that they have limitations in what they can do today (for we are not Gods) which does not mean that today's limitation is tomorrows as we continue to grow with experience over our lifetimes. Then another set of limitations is our life's circumstances. If a person is wheelchair bound he certainly is not going to be able to run a marathon no matter how hard they try. (A simple but poignant analogy). For example I have heard many people who lived through the Depression say that no matter how much you wanted to work there was no work to be had. That is a life circumstance beyond our control.


In this life we all have pain, loss, struggle, disappointment and sorrow ( we all know or will know someone who is no longer with us) . Needless to say we have our brighter moments as well...the trick is to know what is an internal causation of failure or success and what is an external causation or life's circumstances.


What I have been leading to as to the future of America is that if one path is blocked by circumstance another path must be found. A redefinition of what success in the world means, as the road of conspicuous consumption of economies of scale is being proved to be disastrous as the money and credit is running out for continuous expansion. The result is chaos and fragmentation as the system (mechanism) deflates and disintegrates. And no Trump determinism is going to bring Humpty Dumpty back, because the circumstances that set it in motion in the first place are now different. I find that most of the powers that be over the past 8 years are trying to resurrect what once was....as the old saying goes you can never go home as that place no longer exists in time and space.



* This is the sentiment that I expressed to the Priest (at the hospice where Sandy had just died) that made him cry. He said, "If only more people only understood that."

Verbal diarrhea... Do you get paid by the word?

Tabs - I think you just blew my mind!

I'm 55 and I feel the same way. 2 things I am trying to accomplish now - say goodbye to the W2 philosophy, get off my comfort zone. If I can do both I'm at least on the road to success.


Sent from my Tapatalk.

I'm a really ****ty cook.

I've always been a ****ty cook, even though in high school I was paid to be a cook

I could take cooking lessons but I would still be a ****ty cook.

I'm not going to improve my cooking, I'm going with my strengths and making more than enough money to pay somebody else to cook. Cooking slows me down and even I became the best cook I could be, you wouldn't want to eat it, so cooking is off my list of things to improve. In fact there are many things that I'm not going to try to get any better at because it wouldn't make much of a difference and I would still struggle,to do those things well. I've accepted that.

Too many people try to be the best at things they are not suited for. Find your fit.

On your death bed tell me that again...

When you put your head down on the pillow at night you cease to be who you are during the day...where all those little demons (fears, compulsions etc) get to run around in your head....it is then that you have to face yourself...you just become another human being...and that is where I own you.

Now come back when you are really black.