Putting off passions/goals/hobbies until "retirement"

sugarwood · sugarwood's Garage

The older I get, the more I see that many people live a Walter Mitty sort of life. They want to do all these things, but they never really seem to pursue them. It seems very easy to convince yourself you'll do it "some day"

I am now increasingly wary when I see people delaying the things they want to do. I'm sensing that they ultimately never will do those things. If you can't do them now, how will you suddenly motivate to do them when 30 years older ? Is it REALLY about money? Do you really HAVE to see 5 kiddy soccer games a week? I am thinking "Where there's a will, there's a way". And the reality is the will is simply not there. It just sounds good, in theory.

Working on cars is a perfect example. When I tell friends I've been tinkering with cars (very rare in this area), I have friends who wax poetic about building that dream garage when they retire. Meanwhile, they haven't changed a turn signal bulb since high school. If they truly were serious, they'd at least own a socket set, and try changing an air filter. Personally, I have a feeling they will not have any interest in getting under a car when old and brittle. I am glad I am doing it now.

Of course, the flip side of this is "the best laid plans..." When you finally get around to pursung that passion, you might run out of time.

Increasingly, I feel the time is now.
Bucket list is not for when you're old, it should be done in all decades of life.

PP skews wiser and experienced, so I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

scottmandue · 10-01-2016, 03:00 PM

I'm guessing you don't have children? (Not judging, I don't have kids either)
However my wife has a daughter... I have watched soccer games (in the rain) and went to the ballet recitals... not the number one thing I dreamed of doing but wasn't all that bad and just one of those things you do.

Also the world needs carpenters, plumbers, roofers, etc... most people who do those jobs only have enough energy at the end of the day to down a beer/dinner maybe catch a little TV then crawl into bed for a early rising/do it again the next day.

I love driving and tinkering with cars and hope to get some old jalopy when I retire (was just looking at 356 replicas on eBay).

Thou a part of me wonders how much 'sporty' driving I will be doing at 65 years old.

pwd72s · 10-01-2016, 03:05 PM

A wise comment on the working on cars...I'm going to be 73 this month, and I'm quite happy that my rollaway & tools sit pretty much unused. It's painful to crawl under cars with wrenches these days. The "ritus" brothers, Art and Burr have come calling.

I'm fortunate enough to have mostly newer cars with few problems these days and I happily write checks for routine service.

flatbutt · 10-01-2016, 03:38 PM

I was sorta forced into retirement by corporate circumstance last year. One thing that I had deferred due to "life" was a serious study of music. I just didn't have the time either in undergraduate school or as husband and father. Now I do. I don't begrudge it. I love being a Dad and Grandad. But nothing gets in the way of living quite like life does.

scottmandue · 10-01-2016, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flatbutt

I was sorta forced into retirement by corporate circumstance last year. One thing that I had deferred due to "life" was a serious study of music. I just didn't have the time either in undergraduate school or as husband and father. Now I do. I don't begrudge it. I love being a Dad and Grandad. But nothing gets in the way of living quite like life does.

"Life is what happens while we make other plans."

"We make out plans... and God laughs."

I am glad I played trumpet in school (Thou was embarrassed at the time to be seen as a band geek)
Also glad for all the time I wasted playing bass guitar in crappy garage bands.
Would still like to revisit playing guitar/bass after retirement.

ckelly78z · 10-01-2016, 04:16 PM

When my wife and I are each gone from the house for a minimum of 10 hours a day, it doesn't leave alot of time and energy to persue selfish wants. The car hobby (whether racing, restoring, flipping, or showing) is getting monumentally expensive, and can only be done by someone who isn't launching kids through college, and all the related expenses.

My parents are both retired (mom never worked) and just can't understand how we don't get things done, and visit more.

DanielDudley · 10-01-2016, 04:21 PM

It doesn't matter what all your friends do, it only matters what interests you.

A lot can happen between now and tomorrow. Today is a gift, that is why it's called the Present.
Don't waste your interests.

SeanPizzle · 10-01-2016, 04:41 PM

I turned 48 this year and walked away from a career of IT sales for 21 years. I was spent from the treadmill. I started a small firm and making more than enough and have time for hiking, jeeping, tinkering and most importantly my daughter. I don't know that I will ever work for a W2 job again.

Soren Lorenson · 10-01-2016, 04:41 PM

Yep, it is all marketing from the investment firms telling everyone to put it all away (so they can hit it with fees) so you can open your winery or travel or whatever when you are old. You've seen the ads. And everyone is living forever in the future anyway, thanks to the geniuses in Silicon Valley, right?

Never mind the fact that after a certain age you will just shuffle from hospital to dr's office and back.

Chocaholic · 10-01-2016, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pwd72s

A wise comment on the working on cars...I'm going to be 73 this month, and I'm quite happy that my rollaway & tools sit pretty much unused. It's painful to crawl under cars with wrenches these days. The "ritus" brothers, Art and Burr have come calling.

I'm fortunate enough to have mostly newer cars with few problems these days and I happily write checks for routine service.

It's partially this reason that my passion has mostly shifted to motorcycles. As much fun (or more) to work on, you don't have to lay on the floor under a 3000lb car with your nose inches away from a project you can't see without glasses anyway. And of course, I love riding.

Yep, do it while you can, if you can. Because you might find out that your bucket list plans weren't what you expected...then it's mostly too late to do something else.

LWJ · 10-01-2016, 04:51 PM

Funny. I am 50 and a bunch of friends have died or had serious health issues in the last year. I agree with the OP. Don't put off your goals / interests. Tomorrow may not be what you imagine.

Bill Douglas · 10-01-2016, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LWJ

Funny. I am 50 and a bunch of friends have died or had serious health issues in the last year. I agree with the OP. Don't put off your goals / interests. Tomorrow may not be what you imagine.

Well said.

DanielDudley · 10-01-2016, 05:12 PM

Oh, and one thing you will hear a lot about your hobbies and passions from older folk - ''It's about the people.''. As you get older, you will find that the friends that you make are a great deal of what makes your pass times continue to hold interest.

I was at the vintage races this year at LRP, and I bumped into a friend of mine who had his engine apart at 10 AM. He was due on the grid in two hours. I just happened to be there in time to help him bolt it together and get things adjusted. He made the grid, and that was the highlight of my weekend.

A good half dozen people were instrumental in his making that race. I had a lot of fun, and got to meet some great people. That pretty much inspired me to get out to the garage and work on my own car, which is now running thanks to a few guys on this forum taking an interest. Gerry got me some specs, and Sal gave me a LOT of technical support and encouragement.

The friends that you make while doing what you love are an important part of your life.

HardDrive · 10-01-2016, 05:51 PM

I'm 46. I've owned more Ducati's than I can count, 3 Porsches, and I'm currently breaking laws in my Mach 1 Mustang.

I've climbed mountains, traveled to India many times., went on safari in Africa, danced the night away in a club in Havana with a beautiful brown eyed girl.....

F. U. C. K. putting it off.

sugarwood · sugarwood's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soren Lorenson

Yep, it is all marketing from the investment firms telling everyone to put it all away (so they can hit it with fees) so you can open your winery or travel or whatever when you are old. You've seen the ads. And everyone is living forever in the future anyway, thanks to the geniuses in Silicon Valley, right?

Never mind the fact that after a certain age you will just shuffle from hospital to dr's office and back.

Funny, I never looked at saving for retirement as a marketing scam, but your logic does hold some water. "Follow the money" The more you invest, the more fees you generate from AOM. Then again, NOT saving for retirement just enriches other companies in the form of credit cards, loans, etc.

sugarwood · sugarwood's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottmandue

I'm guessing you don't have children? (Not judging, I don't have kids either)

No, but I don't find that to be a valid excuse. I know some parents who have run marathons, and other parents who have not done a push up in over a decade. It's all about priorities. When someone says "I don't have time", what they are really saying is "I don't really feel like it, but have a great excuse"

Same thing with money. Sticking with the car DIY, people seem to have money for a $30,000 minivan, $50k kitchens, and 10k Disney trips,
but they can't find $3000 for a Mustang, Miata, BMW E30, etc and a few hundred bucks in tools? Whatever.

ckelly78z · 10-01-2016, 06:09 PM

For those of you who have no children, just stop posting now....you have no clue how much time, energy, and money it takes to get children succsesfully out on their own. I suppose selfish pursuits like marathoning, and long distance biking are good for the body, but something in the family life is sacrificed for your obsessive goals.

URY914 · URY914's Garage

My brother is a retired deputy sheriff. He always talked about building a woodworking shop and building stuff. He now has Parkinson' disease and lives with his daughter.

Don't wait, do something tomorrow.

Chocaholic · 10-01-2016, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ckelly78z

For those of you who have no children, just stop posting now....you have no clue how much time, energy, and money it takes to get children succsesfully out on their own. I suppose selfish pursuits like marathoning, and long distance biking are good for the body, but something in the family life is sacrificed for your obsessive goals.

This^^^. I have two in college and a 3rd a year away from college. A matter of balance. And Sugarwood...not everyone's dream includes cars or running marathons (certainly not my thing). If they find joy in kitchen remodeling or their minivan, kudos to them. Different strokes...

RANDY P · RANDY P's Garage

I dread getting under cars as I get older. Gets harder to wrestle every year.

OTOH- I can afford much, much better tools these days so at least the danger aspect is minimized.

rjp