More youth sports follies

[Tobra]

10 year old grandson is playing basketball. Last night they had a game, and the other team was playing pretty physical, one kid in particular was bumping, hip checking the point guard that was taking them off the dribble consistently if they tried to play him clean. Around the middle of the game, this kid put a knee into the point guard's leg right above his knee and the kid is carried off the court. They taunted him some, you baby, you're not really hurt, surprised me a little that kids would do that with someone that can't walk without assistance. Later, a different player hard fouled a diminutive shooter and bounced his head off the floor. Down long enough to be scary.

After the game, when the players had walked away from the coach, I approached him, so we could speak without the kids hearing us. "Coach, can I have a word with you. You might want to speak to that 44 kid. He was hip checking pretty much every trip down the floor, and eventually is going to hurt someone badly." He replies, "No, you're wrong, that is bullscheisse" and starts walking away along the side of the court. I am walking next to him, trying to talk to him, and he bumps me, flies back like he is taking a charge, swinging his arms around and would have hit me in the face if I were slower. As this happens, he says, "Don't touch me, don't touch me," so I figure this is not a productive conversation. I approach the referee who is maybe 25' from us and tell him about the rough play, which is borderline and the taunting, which is totally unacceptable. There is a woman right there talking to the referee when I walk up, who tells me she is a league official, and is very concerned about what I am telling her, two kids carried off the court and the unsportsmanlike stuff. As I am talking to them, the coach walks by, as if on cue, and is loudly telling the 44 kid, who turned out to be his son, "He's just a baby." The referee, league official and I all can hear this, and I say, "That is where the kids are getting this."

I did not have a card on me, so I go out to the car and get one of the pens I have imprinted with my office info. As I am walking back inside, the coach is walking the other direction with the kid, who must have a big mother because he is pretty good sized. I am not a big guy, but I look pretty big standing next to him, and quite a bit more fit. He sees me, and geeze, or something like that, like maybe he is afraid that without a crowd around I am not going to be as restrained. I tell him to have a nice evening, go in and give the league official my pen so she has my contact info, and go on my way.

Sort of disconcerting that a guy like that is coaching little kids. His kid who hurt the point guard looked genuinely concerned about it when it happened, so maybe there is hope for him, but maybe not if he continues to get the instruction he is getting now.

[recycled sixtie]

I am concerned for your grandson. I had not thought this kind of game would be so physical as football. it is not worth getting seriously hurt in a game at this level. Perhaps his parents think this game is necessary for his development. If it was my child I would think of pulling him out. Fight or flight? Some things are just not worth it. Conversely if you could implement a no foul game then it is worth pursuing.

[mattdavis11]

That kind of physicality is what the coach and son see happening at the highest level of the game. Naturally, both will want to mimic it.

The referees allowing basketball to become what it is today is the problem. I can't count how many times the ref's whistled me for carrying the ball (palming on the dribble), but zero NBA players get called for it now, and it happens every time down the court.

20 years from now, kids will have to wear pads and a helmet to play youth basketball. Truly sad.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by Tobra

They taunted him some, you baby, you're not really hurt, surprised me a little that kids would do that with someone that can't walk without assistance.

Boys without guidance devolve into the Lord of the Flies quickly.

The referee needed to get ahead of the adolescent douchbaggery right away. Little Jerry West would have been on the bench in my world. One taunt and buena jodida adiós, Sportfan.

Parents, especially parents who are coaches, need more structure than their children and are much more problematic to deal with.

[berettafan]

Physical play should be league appropriate. That is to say rec ball is played like rec ball and tourney ball where kids are recruited based on skill is played differently.
If this is a rec league and tubby is playing like this be sure to loudly suggest to the coach/dad that working on skills will alleviate the need to be a thug on the court.


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[scottmandue]

I'm not a parent (but I'm old enough to be a grandpa),
But IMHO sports for 10 year old should be about learning to be a team player and building character.
Seems like coach and his kid are doing/teaching the exact opposite. Also smells of the coach living vicariously through this kid.
Pretty bad mojo all the way around... again just IMHO.

[scottmandue]

Hey, wait a minute... shouldn't be hard to find out where the coach lives... you are near
widebody911... paper bag+lighter fluid. Do I need say more?

[cstreit]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

Also smells of the coach living vicariously through this kid..

Winner winner. Every a$$hol kid I see has an arsehole dad who looks like he has failed and is trying to make it up in the next gen.

[MauleM5-235]

I have coached for over 30 years, ranging from pre-kindergarten to post-college in both volunteer and paid positions. I consistently find the most difficult people to deal with are the parents. Dealing with the players, other coaches, refs and league officials is easy in comparison.

Frequently there is a relationship between the parent's own "success" in sports and how they act in connection with their kid's sports. Almost universally the parents who are inappropriate are the ones who had little success in sports themselves. I have two theories. One is the obvious of the adult living vicariously through their kid, to have the kid achieve what they could not. Second is that if you have achieved at a high level (college and above), you understand the relative importance of Youth sports and how they fit in the overall scheme of life. As someone who was a mediocre athlete in High School, but was successful in College and afterwards I understand both.

Easiest group of parents I ever had was a girls' grade school soccer team where 5 of the players had a parent who played in college (3 at the Division I level), including one who played in the NFL.

[Tobra]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

Seems like coach and his kid. are doing/teaching the exact opposite. Also smells of the coach living vicariously through this kid.

How I sized it up too.

I am not too worried about my grandson. I will be interested in whatever response this rec league has. That would be the last game this fellow coaches if it were my league, but it is not my league. I will be speaking to the referee before every game my grandson plays in henceforth, and if there is any sketchy behavior will step on the court and pull him out immediately.