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-   -   Watching Dad die. (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/977605-watching-dad-die.html)

oldE 11-15-2017 05:52 AM

Remember the good times.
20 years ago this month, my father went into the hospital for some tests at age 94. He suffered a massive stroke and never regained consciousness. Mom joined him 2 1/2 years later.
Those times tend to be major turning points in your life.
Prayers
Les

Seahawk 11-15-2017 05:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NY65912 (Post 9814936)
So, if I have never commented on your posts of similar nature or suffering of a loved one I apologize but I find it difficult.

It is good to be reminded once in a while of parents deceased, as both of mine are.

I offer my condolences to you and your family in these trying times.

Tobra 11-15-2017 06:17 AM

It is a hard thing. Be thankful for the time you have had. He may not being able to talk to you, don't let it stop you talking to him, even if you think he might be asleep or not listening

NY65912 11-15-2017 09:00 AM

I try to elicit a response by speaking in Italian, it seems to work. They give him morphine every 8 hrs and Haloperidol. He had become combative. It's hard to see him in a seemingly catatonic state.

I'll keep trying to break through. I've been bring things up that that I know will bust his balls a little.

As Dad always said in his broken English, "You gotta keep a goin".

MikeSid 11-15-2017 09:28 AM

He knows you are with him.

I didn't fully understand the power of simply being in the room with my parents until I had children of my own. You are your father's best work. You are the verse he contributed to the powerful play. He knows you are with him.

I wish you strength and peace.

*I lost my dad to congestive heart failure on Dec 26, 2017. My mom passed less than 4 months later. They didn't like to be apart. CHF is a difficult way to go.

wdfifteen 11-15-2017 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NY65912 (Post 9815252)
Thanks for all the well wishes and thoughts. The hardest part is not being able to help, we can't communicate.

Thanks

He knows you are with him. You are a comfort to him just by your presence. You are a good son for being there.

Por_sha911 11-15-2017 12:13 PM

Tell him you love him and you want him to be happy and that it is OK if he wants to go. Dying people struggle to hang on to life because they don't want to hurt the ones they love (rather than because they want to keep living).
Like OldE said, remember the good times.

I'm praying for you and your family.

RKDinOKC 11-15-2017 12:34 PM

Heart felt condolences. Difficult when parents pass.

Danimal16 11-15-2017 01:16 PM

Mike,

It is hard to give you anything to calm the sadness, but the best wishes for you and your family. I lost my Dad this past February. He passed due to complications from so many things it would make your head spin, but the main cause was related to agent orange. He lived to be 87, though he wanted to go to 100. Despite his failing health, he lived everyday to the max. He was one tough SOB as a young man, three wars, and mellowed to be, IMHO, the best Dad Ever!

As was the case with my Mom who left us about 8 years ago through a sudden stroke, all 6 of us were with her and with him to their last breath. Why our family was so blessed as to be together at that critical time is a testament to the way our parents raised us and cared for us. They even showed us, through the grace of their passing, how to die.

I miss them everyday, BUT am truly grateful that they were my Mom and Dad.

Be with your Dad, he will be glad to have you and you will be blessed for being his son.

V/R

Dan

peppy 11-15-2017 01:43 PM

Sorry to hear this, prayers sent.

greglepore 11-15-2017 04:31 PM

Went thru this last June. 99 and chf. Visits me regularly in my dreams now. Hang tough. Hardest thing you ll do.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Steve Viegas 11-15-2017 04:33 PM

All of the best thoughts and prayers headed you and your family's way.

NY65912 11-16-2017 02:22 AM

Saw Dad last evening. He seemed to be doing a little better. We were able to communicate a bit. I got him to eat apple sauce and drink. He has very brief moments of clarity.

Although he has arrhythmia and CHF his heart is still going strong, his BP is good.

Thanks so much for the kind words, very much appreciated.

304065 11-16-2017 07:24 AM

Mike, you and Mike the younger are two of the strongest, nicest guys I have ever met. You will get through this difficult period and when it's all said and done you will have behaved with decency, compassion and honor for your family. Good on you for being there.

Rikao4 11-16-2017 09:31 AM

he knows your at his side..
not sure how they proved this..
but hearing is suppsedly the last thing to go..
so keep talking, perhaps play some old Italian love songs..

Rika

NY65912 11-16-2017 09:32 AM

Thanks John, I really appreciate the kind words.

We were talking about you just the other day. I hope that beautiful family of redheads are all well.

Looking forward to the Xmas card. ;)

Mike

Thanks to all, it really means a lot to get some type of support.

NY65912 11-16-2017 09:35 AM

Rika,

Playing that music would go over big at Mt. Sinai ;)

Perhaps I will play the CD I got him of Italian Army march music instead. I bought him a genuine feathered Bersagleri hat a few years ago (he was 82) for Father's Day. He wore it and ran around double time to the music, quite a site. Perhaps he was trying to impress the ladies.

Thanks

flatbutt 11-16-2017 10:16 AM

Mike. I kept Sinatra going for my Mom and it definitely helped comfort her.

The fact that this is a natural and expected end does not help but you are being "il buon figlio" and he knows it. All blessings Mike.

NY65912 11-18-2017 03:00 AM

Pop was doing a bit better last night. I got him to eat a little, but he especially liked the chocolate pudding.

Off to do breakfast.

recycled sixtie 11-18-2017 04:56 AM

This is a tough time for you. However you are at least there for him and he is listening to you and feels your presence. When my father was dying I was in the next room to him. My mother would not let me see him in his emaciated state. That was was 1967 and he died age 52. Back in 2012 my mother passed away age 94. She asked for me to see her in July and I said I would be there in September. She passed away that month and I attended her funeral in August. You are a good son.


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