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Deposit card ..
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I liked one piece of advice on this board. Someone who collected a lot of cars using an enclosed trailer routed his exhaust pipe into the trailer so that by the time he was home every creepy crawly, vermin and serpent was dead. |
Hey hey hey, what about the spider. Catch him live - uninjured, and find him a nice place outside and let him go. If the female doesn't like this maybe she should go too.
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Usually turning off the light get it moving and opening a window works. Live and let live. Then I saved a drowning bee from the bird bath: "I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee, Won't my mommy be so proud of me, I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee, Ouch! It stung me! I'm squishing up the baby bumblebee, Won't my mommy be so proud of me," |
I think the rule here is that you're only allowed to clench your cheeks but not so tightly that others in the room notice. No sounds are allowed to emanate from your mouth. Exiting the perch you were on in order to reach the insect is allowed but it must be done in a slow and controlled manner. I think directing the F word at the insect is allowable but only if you're telling it how lucky it was you didn't squish its f'ing ass.
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Your mistake was trying to kill it.
I would have just set my house on fire. |
I just tell the wife "it's pest control, leave it alone"....so she gets my daughter to do it.
A real man uses his intelligence. ;) |
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nom nom nom...
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Real men have spiders as pets and don't ask "man card" questions on the Internet....
Give it up Vash :) |
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Many years ago a friend and I were trapping muskrats on the river when I experienced my first exposure to severe entomophobia. We were in a tiny canoe. I in front, he in rear. He, being 6'8" and disproportionately heavily muscled even for a giant, made my end of the canoe ride in the air with the gunwales on his end nearly at water level. Anyways, somedamnhow one of those ugly-looking 1.5" white june-bug grub things with a black head ended up in the canoe. So trying to get it out of the boat I flipped it with my oar and toward him unfortunately it went. Welp, were I not hanging on to the bow of that tiny canoe for dear life as my friend, screaming, screeching and bucking around trying to swat that little insect out of the air, then off his lap then on the floor of the canoe would probably have been funny. Up he jumped in abject panic like his clothes were on fire, jumping and flailing and hollaring like I don't know what all. Oars and traps, dead muskrats, I and I assume one tiny uglybug went flying. The amazing thing was that we survived the attack. Literally, one second he was Tom Sawyer and I Huck Finn. The next he were a screaming demon and I a surprised mass of discombobulated disorientation. |
Way back when I was married my wife would call me at the lab to tell me that there was something dead or something that needed to be dead in the house. She would leave and not return until I had cleared the corpse. So if a man makes a sound and there is no one there to hear it......
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Around here, 99% of the spiders that mistakenly think they can set up operations in my house are brown recluse spiders. They do not get relocated. If I could single-handedly eliminate this species, I would. I do my part but it is futile.
I have a friend that does pest control in Colorado. His territory includes all the high-end places to live in the mountains. His client base is wealthy and squeamish. They get very needy around the holidays, which makes for some fun stories and endless headaches for him. JR |
Woah, coffeee-out-the-nose-thread! LOL!
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