restaurant servers assuming your change is their tip
 

A friend and I went out to lunch today at a local buffet. We got there right when they opened, were seated by one person, had our drink orders taken by someone else and our drinks delivered by yet 'server' #3. Fast forward to the end of the meal and our plates were piled at the end of the table when server #3 asked if we were done. We were.

This is where our experience turned south. She pulled our ticket out of her apron, sat it on the table and said she would be our cashier when we were ready. It was $16. Told her to wait a sec and I pulled out a $20 and gave it to her. She took it, the ticket and said 'thanks, you guys have a nice day' as she turned around and very quickly walked out of view.

My friend and I looked at each other in the confusion of what had just happened. Did this girl really just take my $20 and assumed I was going to tip her my $4 change? This girl brought us 2 cups of water. That was it. She never once cleared our plates, never once offered to refill our waters, didn't even bring straws for said waters (I'm a pansy and have to drink with a straw...don't ask). She literally did nothing.

We sat at our table for another few minutes as she stood by the register talking to 'server' #1 that sat us waiting for her to bring me the change. I finally went up and had to ask for the change and her response was 'I thought you said I could have the change'. Yeah, no. She gave us the change and we left.

Now I've waited more than a few tables in my time and I was always told when a person pays and you are acting as a cashier, it is your job to bring the customer their change and never to assume that what is left is your tip. Even if the change is 1 cent, you bring it back to the customer. And for the love of all things holy, to never ask 'do you need change?'. Is that not how we do things anymore?

Was I wrong to ask for my change back? Am I blowing this whole thing out of proportion? I know it was only $4 but it was the point of the matter. I would've left a few bucks if you had done something, or even tried but all she did the whole time we were there was deliver drinks to 3 other tables. And stole my change. And after all this I didn't even get a damn fortune cookie! :mad:

/rant

No, you were correct to ask for your change. It was a buffet and as you said, you got basically zero service after you got your drinks.

(I think)
If they are hired as waiters, they can legally be paid below minimum wage.

And, as waiters, they are automatically taxed by the IRS at 15% for their 'table wages'.
Whatever that means.
Every restaurant has different policies.

That is only a guess. I would ask for my change as well.
Those rude people eventually hurt the business and local economy.

I personally think you did the right thing by asking for your change back. I am with you on this, she should have brought your change back.

I hate those place that automatically include 15-20% to the total bill. I remember only twice we had terrible service at those places. That really grinds my gears.

They do that at the door of strip clubs too. If the cover charge is $30 and you hand the girl a $50 she'll bounce and say, "Thayunks," in her cute little airhead voice and then stuff your change in her bra.
Or so I'm told.

Not in California, they get minimum wage ($15 statewide soon) plus tips.

What is this with the tip in the USA? Automatically added to the amount? WHAT?
When I go out I pay the amount on the reciept, and then it is just polite to give some tip based on the service provided. But noone suggests or DEMANDS a tip and nothing is added automatically. That is just stupid and adds to the lazyness and bad service.

+1 on what Holger wrote.
It annoys me in the US concerning tips.And dont get me started on Cruise Ships and their obligatory
per die charge. They should be compelled to add it to the total cabin price prior to quoting, and then pay all their semi-slaves a living wage.

per diem. not per die above

good servers ASK if you need change back
good servers also bring you some small bills so you can leave a proper tip. if they bring a 10 back and the tip should be 5, how are you suppose to tip them.
if the tip is 7 and they bring you a 5 and 5 ones, then you can leave 7.

unfortunately all the buffets I goto the girls know me so I gotta tip them well.

I think there was one time where my change was a 50 and the tip was like 10. the girl asked if I needed change back. uh......heck yea I do.

You’re not the only one. I had a server keep my change and thought: WTF, did that just happen?

She violated the 1st Commandment of serving: Always bring back the change without comment. Never assume a tip, ever.

I was a waiter/bartender for years. I worked in a few places managed by some folks who would have fired the young lady in the OP.

The check dance is the last impression you can make and can spoil the customer experience and impact the tip.

I was told not to tip in Ireland as it was an insulting gesture. I found it really hard not to, it was going against my character. More on that in a moment.

Here is my take on it and you are more than welcome to disagree.

In the states a waitress depends on tips, that is how the business model is set up. The hourly wage is very low to keep overhead down, you tend to get good to great service because there is plenty of staff on hand.

In Ireland we found the service to be extremely slow, and restaurants understaffed. Because of that we planned accordingly knowing a meal would take 2x longer than we are used to due to the lack of staff and what seemed to be in many places, lack of care. Being tourists on the run we were frustrated at first then just settled down and accepted our fate.

If I was at a buffet, and ran a $16 tab, I would toss a $20 and walk out never giving it another thought. Especially in the states where these people are making minimum wage or even worse a waitresses wage. Seriously, what is $4 in the grand scheme of things? Unless you feel vindictive and want to punish them for not taking better care of you, I honestly would not give that $4 a second thought.


Back to Ireland, there were a few times where the service was exemplary and I really wanted to give a tip without upsetting or insulting the server. On the second night in country, we were sitting in a little local pub. We noticed the older couple sitting next to us leaving, the husband walked up to the server and placed some folded up bills in her hand and thanked her personally for the wonderful evening.

That is what I did from there on out and every time, it was received very well.

You have to really ruin my meal for me to tip under 18%, I typically round up on my tips and I am very generous. I consider myself to be very lucky to have the lot I have in this life and have no problem tipping someone making less than minimum wage a nice tip.

I bet when OP goes back to the buffet he will wonder why the service was worse than last time.

That's exactly what this experience did. I'm not a new patron to this restaurant. We go at least once a month and have for at least a decade. The food is always excellent, fresh, and normally we get good service. I'm reconsidering this being an option in the out-to-eat rotation not because of the food, but because of this which is just as an important part of the visit as the food.

Normally a few bucks would suffice especially at a buffet where you serve yourself. These 'servers' are glorified busboys. But that's besides the point. In this instance, who would that tip go to if I did leave one? There were 3 servers who did equal amount of work. It is unfair for the last one to do something to get the entire tip 'just because'. Do I chase down every person who helped me and give em a buck?


I'm not seeing this being a problem. In the decade we've visited this place, never twice in a row have we seen the same wait staff. Turnover is 100% every month. By the time we decide to go back, this server will have moved on to some other restaurant.

could it get any worse.

a good server will ask if you need change back as they may now know how much you handed them for the bill.

Change should have been returned.

In many restaurants, especially those where you interact with multiple servers the tips are pooled and redistributed to all the staff including back of house food preparers and even the dishwasher.

That is how it works.

I've spent a lot of time in the UK and it took a long time for me to get comfortable with not tipping. Every time I left money on the table the kid would chase after me "sir your change!". They always refused to accept a tip.

If she's beautiful, she gets whatever she wants. "She had a face that let her get away..."

And now these days, twenty to thirty percent. Life's too short. If your doing good in the world, spread the honey around...
Maybe because of the below.

Once upon a time in Mazatlan my friend and I left all our change on the table at the restaurant. As we were walking back to the hotel we were chased down by the waiter. He came running up all out of breath "Senor, Senor, you forgot your change!" And my friend said "Oh no, that's for you, that's your tip!" To which he replied "You cheapskate! That's about five cents American!!"

And we slunk away...

A server at the restaurant my son works at made $600 in tips the other night. That was her cut, after divvying up to the help. That's just wrong, IMHO. I'm starting to move my tipping down to the 10% range. Entrees around here are often $40 and a glass of wine is $15. Start adding 20% on top of those costs and things get obscene.

"She had been born with a face that would let her get her way" ;)

Thank you Bob!