restaurant servers assuming your change is their tip
 

A friend and I went out to lunch today at a local buffet. We got there right when they opened, were seated by one person, had our drink orders taken by someone else and our drinks delivered by yet 'server' #3. Fast forward to the end of the meal and our plates were piled at the end of the table when server #3 asked if we were done. We were.

This is where our experience turned south. She pulled our ticket out of her apron, sat it on the table and said she would be our cashier when we were ready. It was $16. Told her to wait a sec and I pulled out a $20 and gave it to her. She took it, the ticket and said 'thanks, you guys have a nice day' as she turned around and very quickly walked out of view.

My friend and I looked at each other in the confusion of what had just happened. Did this girl really just take my $20 and assumed I was going to tip her my $4 change? This girl brought us 2 cups of water. That was it. She never once cleared our plates, never once offered to refill our waters, didn't even bring straws for said waters (I'm a pansy and have to drink with a straw...don't ask). She literally did nothing.

We sat at our table for another few minutes as she stood by the register talking to 'server' #1 that sat us waiting for her to bring me the change. I finally went up and had to ask for the change and her response was 'I thought you said I could have the change'. Yeah, no. She gave us the change and we left.

Now I've waited more than a few tables in my time and I was always told when a person pays and you are acting as a cashier, it is your job to bring the customer their change and never to assume that what is left is your tip. Even if the change is 1 cent, you bring it back to the customer. And for the love of all things holy, to never ask 'do you need change?'. Is that not how we do things anymore?

Was I wrong to ask for my change back? Am I blowing this whole thing out of proportion? I know it was only $4 but it was the point of the matter. I would've left a few bucks if you had done something, or even tried but all she did the whole time we were there was deliver drinks to 3 other tables. And stole my change. And after all this I didn't even get a damn fortune cookie! :mad:

/rant

No, you were correct to ask for your change. It was a buffet and as you said, you got basically zero service after you got your drinks.

(I think)
If they are hired as waiters, they can legally be paid below minimum wage.

And, as waiters, they are automatically taxed by the IRS at 15% for their 'table wages'.
Whatever that means.
Every restaurant has different policies.

That is only a guess. I would ask for my change as well.
Those rude people eventually hurt the business and local economy.

I personally think you did the right thing by asking for your change back. I am with you on this, she should have brought your change back.

I hate those place that automatically include 15-20% to the total bill. I remember only twice we had terrible service at those places. That really grinds my gears.

They do that at the door of strip clubs too. If the cover charge is $30 and you hand the girl a $50 she'll bounce and say, "Thayunks," in her cute little airhead voice and then stuff your change in her bra.
Or so I'm told.

Not in California, they get minimum wage ($15 statewide soon) plus tips.

What is this with the tip in the USA? Automatically added to the amount? WHAT?
When I go out I pay the amount on the reciept, and then it is just polite to give some tip based on the service provided. But noone suggests or DEMANDS a tip and nothing is added automatically. That is just stupid and adds to the lazyness and bad service.

+1 on what Holger wrote.
It annoys me in the US concerning tips.And dont get me started on Cruise Ships and their obligatory
per die charge. They should be compelled to add it to the total cabin price prior to quoting, and then pay all their semi-slaves a living wage.

per diem. not per die above

good servers ASK if you need change back
good servers also bring you some small bills so you can leave a proper tip. if they bring a 10 back and the tip should be 5, how are you suppose to tip them.
if the tip is 7 and they bring you a 5 and 5 ones, then you can leave 7.

unfortunately all the buffets I goto the girls know me so I gotta tip them well.

I think there was one time where my change was a 50 and the tip was like 10. the girl asked if I needed change back. uh......heck yea I do.

You’re not the only one. I had a server keep my change and thought: WTF, did that just happen?

She violated the 1st Commandment of serving: Always bring back the change without comment. Never assume a tip, ever.

I was a waiter/bartender for years. I worked in a few places managed by some folks who would have fired the young lady in the OP.

The check dance is the last impression you can make and can spoil the customer experience and impact the tip.

I was told not to tip in Ireland as it was an insulting gesture. I found it really hard not to, it was going against my character. More on that in a moment.

Here is my take on it and you are more than welcome to disagree.

In the states a waitress depends on tips, that is how the business model is set up. The hourly wage is very low to keep overhead down, you tend to get good to great service because there is plenty of staff on hand.

In Ireland we found the service to be extremely slow, and restaurants understaffed. Because of that we planned accordingly knowing a meal would take 2x longer than we are used to due to the lack of staff and what seemed to be in many places, lack of care. Being tourists on the run we were frustrated at first then just settled down and accepted our fate.

If I was at a buffet, and ran a $16 tab, I would toss a $20 and walk out never giving it another thought. Especially in the states where these people are making minimum wage or even worse a waitresses wage. Seriously, what is $4 in the grand scheme of things? Unless you feel vindictive and want to punish them for not taking better care of you, I honestly would not give that $4 a second thought.


Back to Ireland, there were a few times where the service was exemplary and I really wanted to give a tip without upsetting or insulting the server. On the second night in country, we were sitting in a little local pub. We noticed the older couple sitting next to us leaving, the husband walked up to the server and placed some folded up bills in her hand and thanked her personally for the wonderful evening.

That is what I did from there on out and every time, it was received very well.

You have to really ruin my meal for me to tip under 18%, I typically round up on my tips and I am very generous. I consider myself to be very lucky to have the lot I have in this life and have no problem tipping someone making less than minimum wage a nice tip.

I bet when OP goes back to the buffet he will wonder why the service was worse than last time.

That's exactly what this experience did. I'm not a new patron to this restaurant. We go at least once a month and have for at least a decade. The food is always excellent, fresh, and normally we get good service. I'm reconsidering this being an option in the out-to-eat rotation not because of the food, but because of this which is just as an important part of the visit as the food.

Normally a few bucks would suffice especially at a buffet where you serve yourself. These 'servers' are glorified busboys. But that's besides the point. In this instance, who would that tip go to if I did leave one? There were 3 servers who did equal amount of work. It is unfair for the last one to do something to get the entire tip 'just because'. Do I chase down every person who helped me and give em a buck?


I'm not seeing this being a problem. In the decade we've visited this place, never twice in a row have we seen the same wait staff. Turnover is 100% every month. By the time we decide to go back, this server will have moved on to some other restaurant.

could it get any worse.

a good server will ask if you need change back as they may now know how much you handed them for the bill.

Change should have been returned.

In many restaurants, especially those where you interact with multiple servers the tips are pooled and redistributed to all the staff including back of house food preparers and even the dishwasher.

That is how it works.

I've spent a lot of time in the UK and it took a long time for me to get comfortable with not tipping. Every time I left money on the table the kid would chase after me "sir your change!". They always refused to accept a tip.

If she's beautiful, she gets whatever she wants. "She had a face that let her get away..."

And now these days, twenty to thirty percent. Life's too short. If your doing good in the world, spread the honey around...
Maybe because of the below.

Once upon a time in Mazatlan my friend and I left all our change on the table at the restaurant. As we were walking back to the hotel we were chased down by the waiter. He came running up all out of breath "Senor, Senor, you forgot your change!" And my friend said "Oh no, that's for you, that's your tip!" To which he replied "You cheapskate! That's about five cents American!!"

And we slunk away...

A server at the restaurant my son works at made $600 in tips the other night. That was her cut, after divvying up to the help. That's just wrong, IMHO. I'm starting to move my tipping down to the 10% range. Entrees around here are often $40 and a glass of wine is $15. Start adding 20% on top of those costs and things get obscene.

"She had been born with a face that would let her get her way" ;)

Thank you Bob!

no, a GOOD SERVER will bring you your change and you can do with it what you want. when they ask me if I want my change back the tip goes down.

I'm not certain if buffet folks are the same as regular servers, but they do a lot less, so unless they are all over my table cleaning things and topping off drinks, they get less of a tip than if they were full service. Because I was a bartender for several years, they still probably get a bigger tip from me than from most folks. I don't go to many buffets anyway, mostly just one Indian food place where the service is great whether you go for dinner and get full service or it's a lunch buffet.

So, my 2 cents, she should have brought your cash back and you should have tipped a little. I suspect in cases like that, it's possible that they pool the tips and then divide them or if one person helps another, they may get a small tip from the other waitress.

Well, and regardless of the amount of service, a wait person should always bring the change back unless the person specifically says "keep the change".

I'm sure the deal is that they get stiffed a lot (possibly because of it being a buffet, possibly because they get crap service or a bit of both) So in defense, they've taken up this shady practice, because most folks don't want to deal with an uncomfortable situation and let them get away with it.

The theory is, you get better service because they are relying on you for money after they've provided the service. And if you get bad service, you tip less. If you get great service you tip more. That motivates good waitstaff to provide better service. It can be a good system.


Yeah, it's irritating when they don't provide enough change for you to tip what you had planned to tip. I have asked something like this before, "would you rather get the $3 that you gave me or would you rather break that $20 and get the $8 that I'd planned to give you?" I usually get change. The unfortunate thing is that some people will complain that they got too many small bills. Of course, those folks were probably going to be crappy tippers no matter what.

On occasions where change would approximate the tip the server should say, at most, 'i'll be right back with your change' and move along. This gives the customer a chance to say 'oh, no change, thanks' at which point the server would smile and say 'thank you'.

This

When I was young lad, my first wife now deceased, worked at olive garden. Ill never forget her coming home one night and crying after a double shift of 14 hours and bringing home $20. Yes this was 1995, but still... it was unlimited soup and breadsticks, so 15% of nothing is still nothing.

I still cant stand the tipping system. Pay a wage and be done with it. If a server is having a lot of complaints, fire them. Just like any other job.

Interesting take.

_

My FIL didn't realize that the gratuity had already been added to a bill (8 people) at Red Lobster one night, and left a nice cash tip. My MIL was so enraged at him, she actually went back in to the resturaunt the next day and demanded a refund for which she got.

My wife (her daughter) gave her holy hell for making a stink, and causing a scene, when it was actually his/her fault. We still shake our heads over that one !

Well, you know when you go out that there is at least 15% on top of it most of the time.

It's effectively a voluntary tax but you know it's coming.

If the total exceeds what you think is a value, don't eat there.

I don't see how punishing the low wage earner helps.

$600 in a night? Nice haul. Does she work 5 nights a week and make near that every night? Doubtful.

Even if she does, what's the cost of living in the area?

It's all relative.

So, by your logic, if one is not prepared to tip 15%, then they shouldn't go out to eat?

How am I punishing the wage earner, if he/she is making $12 an hour + tips for a low-skill job with absolutely no barrier to entry?

Your server is taxed on the revenue they ring up, regardless of tips. The IRS assumes 8% tips and the manager will report that at the end of the shift. For example - ring up $1000 in revenue for one shift and you get $80 reported as tips. The tax on that is taken out of your base wage paycheck every week or two. Now, if you're really making 8% or less on your revenue, then you suck and belong in another line of work. But get stiffed by a big party at an expensive place? You can literally be paying the IRS for the privilege of serving those deadbeats, which is why most restaurants tack on a service charge of 18% for parties of five or more.

That said, 25% on a buffet check with mediocre to bad service is what I'd call excessive. You'd have to intentionally insult my wife to get less than 20% out of me.

I worked at a high-end French Restaurant in SF when I was at Cal...the only Union job I have every had. This was in 1977/78. I made $150 each on Friday and Saturday nights on average, $50 on my Wednesday shift. $350 clams a week in 1977 part time, in college? I was crushing it.

The interesting thing in Motion's post to me is that in my experience the more sophisticated customer (Motion) tipped to just below scale, which was fine and understood...and this was before tips were every included in the bill.

They understood value and where the freaking waiter was in that particular value proposition.

Any sentient waiter knows who is who and acts accordingly. I made a killing off the guy who was just happy to get a table and was trying to impress his date.

i was a crappy waiter.

but being Chinese, i was natually born with the team colors to allow me to work in any Chinese restaurant. i could make a panda express look legit.

anyways, it left me with a sense of just how crappy that job is. basically delivering food and kiss ass.

i tip well..having said that, it is mighty presumptuous to keep the change and think it's my tip. going to college and getting out of the people business was a good move on my part.

That sure is a fancy way of saying I'm a dick!!! :cool:

Here's what's wrong with the tipping culture in America: You can go to Denny's and order a bunch of stuff off the $2 menu and end up with a $6 check. Are you going to tip the hard-working waitress $0.90? Of course not. You know she probably has a car on its last legs and 4 kids at home. Or, she's a nice old grandma type.

Then you go to a snooty, trendy place in Newport Beach and drop $200 for you and the wife on Saturday night. Your server probably worked less to deliver your food than the server at Denny's, yet she is supposed to get $40? I don't think so. Does not compute. This disparity rises as the cost of the food goes up.

I will say, however, that if you're dining at an ultra-exclusive spot which offers something extraordinarily, then you should definitely be prepared to ante up.

I always did very well when working as a waiter. Great experience that has served me well my entire life, teaches you to read people and interact with them. You know who is going to tip well, generally, and those are the sort of people that are going to come back if you treat them right. There was this lobbyist that would come in about 2-3 times a month. Dirty martini before, nice red during and Remy Martin with the cigar after. Paid for a nice paint job on the bug serving that guy dinner.

Thing about tipping someplace where you are not supposed to tip, just don't be crass. Fold a bill up in the palm of your hand and when you shake the person's hand to thank them for the excellent service, pass the dough to them.

Not at all...and this was in SF, in the 1970's. People who have been places and experienced life on a larger scale than most have a higher barrier.

Your post is an exact reflection of the value prop I was discussing...and is right on the money (sic) by the way.

I had lunch with a good friend of mine I want to hire (he is a prior Marine and we are close to getting a contract with the Marines) earlier this week. We both like breakfast for lunch so we met at iHop (I know, but once in a while gravy biscuits are good for the soul).

We were there two hours. The bill came to $21.00. The server was great and we were taking a table out of her rotation. I left two $20's and was happy to do so.

The waitress never wavered on service or patience. I think she knew.

You did not define where this was.

If you were in a locale that has a $12.00 minimum wage for servers that's a different conversation.

But that's still more the exception for most of the country than the rule.

Their salary is reflected in the menu prices so the standard tip is not in play.

Tipping is great and lets the waiter know how they are doing, especially if you leave notes on the receipt. I've tipped 50% now and again and even 100% once, $40 on a $20 bill because this woman just read my mind and made for an amazing meal.

But I've tipped $0 and 10% too.

For either over or under tipping, I always like to write a sentence or two, or tell them directly if possible, what made the service extraordinary or why they sucked.

No kidding - this is one of several reasons I can't stand table-service type restaurants and typically avoid them. The whole "pay-em-squat-and-make-the-customer-deal-with-it" system in the restaurant industry is asinine.

Another pet-peeve is I've started seeing "enter tip amount" prominently displayed above the signature line on digital signature screens typically associated with "grab-and-go" or counter-service type places. This irks me - those people ARE bona-fide employees and do NOTHING other than stand there and enter stuff on a register. Sorry but I'm not tipping for that. That's called a job. You should get paid for it. It's no better than everyone under the sun sticking a tip jar under your nose now and expecting a few bucks for doing - their jobs. NO! That's what your paycheck is for! If you're truly exceptional then maybe I'll offer you something (I've done this many times) but it's become an obnoxious expectation in places where it simply shouldn't be.

Any good server I knew would rather have a $0 base and get tips than get $12 or $15/hr with customers thinking they no longer needed to tip. Unless you're stuck on a lunch shift when roads are closed for snow, you should be making several times the min. wage or go to work in a better restaurant. Pro servers know there's no point in working in a place where you can't ring up over $1000 in check revenue in a shift. If I were to get back into it, I'd not work anywhere cheaper than Morton's or Mastro's.

I rarely eat out but when I do try to leave 15-20%. Sometimes more if it's a holiday and the server is working hard. BTDT and I did not earn much as a waiter and sometimes dream of going back in time and seeing what I did wrong.

My only regrets have been overpaying those people who did terrible work and deserved nothing in the first place, and the manager should have been yelled at. When people are paying 5x-10x the price of same food they could cook at at home customers should deserve a little more effort from staff. Even a quick "sorry I'll be right with you" is better than nothing. Everyone wants the same thing. The owner of a restaurant has gone through a lot of work and time and money getting set up and most restaurants fail within five years partially because of this kind of nonsense.
Several places lost at least hundreds in repeat business from solitary me.

Bartenders are the very worst, which is why I don't go to them. The last time I was in a bar the guy sat around lax while dozens of people anxiously waited to get their drinks. It was almost literally everyone in the joint, and maybe a tenth to a quarter of them would not come back after that. He cost the owner of the establishment hundreds and lost tips for himself in the ten minutes I stood around waiting with my bad back, friends at the table, and people pushing in front of me. That was not the kind of fun.

I did tip airport staff ~$20 once in a foreign country, which might not have been legal, who went through extraordinary lengths to help my family get from point A to point B through hoops after a tight scheduling scheme hit the proverbial fan. It was their job but it would have cost us hundreds more and a wasted day if it hadn't have worked out.

I want to pay what it's worth to me.
Usually it's worth nothing and I just end up doing it myown self.