WWVD-What Would Vash Do?
 

I come to work today and find two small bottles of cologne still in their boxes on my desk. They weren't there on Fri (left early for long weekend) so I guess they were put there after I left. All inquires to my co-workers are fruitless. Nobody knows nothing. I work in an office of women, there are nearly 20 of them and only 4 hairy legged dudes. None of the other dudes recieved cologne and my team leader wasn't out giving goodies for Memorial weekend.

Would you tell your wife?

Bo?

Yes.

I would evaluate my body odor situation very carefully. Maybe someone is trying to drop you a hint!

G

^^^
First thing I thought of. Sorry.

#metoo, I don't think I am smelly. Always freshly bathed before work.

I will be telling the bride.

HAHAH..

i would set them up near an open fire and try to shoot them with a .22.

^^^
Perhaps someone thinks that your cologne is cloy...too much, too sweet, etc.

Do this:
Find/research the MOST powerful gawdawful pungent cologne known to man.
Buy it.
Refill the "gift" bottles with it.
Lather on copiously. Soak it into clothing.
Loudly advertise around the office you are SO appreciative of the secret cologne gift, you wear it every day, and don't know how you ever lived without it.

If asked- show them bottles they bought, open em' up and slap some more on.
Openly acknowledge your deodorant was not cutting it, however, their cologne has solved everything. Thankyou thankyou thankyou coworkers!

This, fill them up with patchouli, and let them know how bad it really can be.
This place is a priceless . From now on, whenever I find myself in a tough situation , I will think WWVD?

What cologne DO you use? Powerful "oh so sexy" stuff? If so, lighten up. You're a grown man, right? Skin Bracer, aqua velva...after shave, not cologne. Good pit grease like speed stick...avoid the powerful stuff. If somebody a couple of feet away can smell your cologne, it's too damned strong. If your wife likes the stuff? Save it for your bedroom.

And fresh clothes too? Some people I know forget about that. It doesn't really help to shower if you get back into the same clothes EVERY DAY! :eek:

G

I worked with a couple of guys that put on too much cologne and it wasn't fun. Not that there's anything wrong with it...

I suspect that's the message you're getting. Consider it a good thing.

I don't wear any cologne, ever. My wife bought some for me about a decade ago and it is almost halfway done.

Fresh clothes, always a pair of clean scrubs.


I think some of you are blaming me for this harrassment. Victim blaming, I didn't ask for this and don't think I can function in such a sexist enviroment. I am taking my perfume and going home.

Maybe you have an admirer at work. That's good news...it doesn't have to go beyond that.

There's your problem....supposed to spray it on yourself....not cook it.:)

No wondering needed. Someone thinks you're a stinky f**k. Make a change.

honestly, if it was a B.O. issue, the thing you leave is a bar of soap or some deodorant. isnt that the universal sign for stink?

Somebody in bivenator's office is prepping him for lovemaking. He just needs to work through all the women methodically.

If a secret admirer...you sure wouldn't leave cologne!:)

Place three objects on your desk, along with a pencil and a chart for rating them. By Monday you'll have your answer:

• clean shirt
• Bar of soap
• Pack of condoms

:cool:

it's Houston right? in the summer?

really, is anyone ever really FRESH in Houston in the summer?

Replace FRESH with FRISKY and go with Wayner's condom idea.....

The scented kind. Summer Jackhammer would be good.

I think we have to develop a collective problem solving approach on this board.
Bringing problems to the Collective Brain Trust has been going on for some time, but what if you are faced with a situation which needs immediate consideration.
We all need to learn to Solve Like A Pelican. SLAP!
(not to be confused with cratch slappin') :D


Best
Les

It is weird. It didn't even occur to me upon finding it that is could be hygiene related. You guys certainly opened my eyes to that possibility. I cannot fathom that that is the case. Nope, just some young thing hopelessly held under my powerful spell, not smell.

So I started an inventory of who it could be. Of the 30+ women in the company, at least half could crush me under their weight. A quarter are suffering hot flashes or are nearing retirement.
The other quarter, well, hmm.

Strange days, probably an innocent explanation for it.

Thanks for the amusing responses however most didn't answer whether they would tell the wifeypoo.

Not to throw this thread off but this behavior needs to be nipped in the bud.

Of course, if the office environment is consistent with this little mystery it is probably nothing. On the other hand...

Buy 20 bottles of Summers Eve and leave it on the desks of all of the females.

And yes, I would tell her in a second.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1527623880.jpg

^^^^ omg!!

HR is gonna have a busy week :)

Put the keyboard down and slowly back away from the monitor, sir.
This is not going to end well.

Walk around with your “cock in a box” and see who’s birthday it is.

Of course, tell your wife.

Try??

i forgot to mention the blindfold and heavy drinking..and the open fire would be on the end of a swinging torch. :)

:) I would.

I would teller her immediately.
I wouldn't find the right time, I'd just come out and tell her. (No beating around the bush)

If she freaks out, she's got the problem not you (unless you are in the habit of dangling things under her nose as a form of triangulation to get a response and keep her on her toes - thats not healthy)

WARNING:
I wasn't always this way, but I am now of the mindset that if a relationship is going to blow up over this sort of thing, better to blow it up immediately and take the short term pain long term gain. If you are in a long term relationship with an over the top jealous person, you may want to take protective measures first. If you have a healthy relationship, she will laugh (or call you stinky);)


...in fact, in the spirit of defusing a potential situation with humor, I'd lead with the plausibility of stinky

definately tell the wife.

she is the only one with the blank check to tell you how it is anyways. my wife is the first to tell me.."ahem..maybe you should take a shower first".

love is a safe place. :)

Monday morning he'd bring in a fresh bighorn as a lunch present for everyone.
Dress the thing in the lobby where there is more room.

(later edit: ^uh sorry, maybe a little bit too exuberant a joke there. Had to one-up.)

BEST post yet!
(It covers all the bases, all the women will faint, now all thats left is to figure out which ones are fainting for which reasons :-)

Throw it the F away and move along.

if you have a heathy relationship, you both could joke about it. then tell her.
If she is in any way insecure... forget it ever happened.