A little fun on a Saturday night...

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

Part 1 - The Movie
So I did dinner and a movie with this other chick (not the lawyer one, she's outta town until next week). Saw "Old School"; a leave-your-brain-at-the-door flick, but at the end, one of the minor characters drives a 911 off of a bridge.
Part 2 - The Sound of Hell
After all was said and done (and unfortunately, more was said than done) I went back to my car parked in the public garage between J and L streets. For fun, I did a couple of speed runs in the garage, just for the sound. (The place was deserted, don't fret. ) In a parking garage, my car is unbelievably, painfully, loud. When I nailed the gas, I could feel the sound pressure in my chest - it's that intense. If there had been any peds around, I would have scared the daylights out of them.
Part 3 - The Crotch Rocket
If you don't like racing tales, this is your exit. You've been warned. Please direct all admonishments to /dev/null
I'm driving down 16th, toward 160. It's almost midnight, the streets are empty (remember, this is Sacramento). I'm timing the lights ~30mph. A guy on a shiny new (paper plates) crotch rocket pulls up next to me as I'm cruising thru a light, looks over and nails it, pulling his wheel off the ground in a show of mating-season aggression that would make Marlin Perkins sit up and take notice. Of course, by speeding up, he mis-times the next light; I gently drop down to 1st, let the clutch out, and slowly build the revs up as I'm watching the yellow. It turns green and it's on. He punches it, and his front wheel comes off the ground, probably more than he expected, because he immediately lifts, slams it down, then punches it again. I don't know that I've ever seen such a sloppy launch. Mine's flawless, but then again, I've got 4 wheels and a rolling start; the sum of my contact pactches is probably longer than his wheelbase. On top of that, I'm running the 17" A032Rs - never bothered to take them off after Sears - so I even have an additional acceleration disadvantage. I didn't see him again until the next light.
Thomn8r 1, Crotch Rocket 0
At the next light, he regains his composure, and revs on me big time. He wants another shot at me. I don't know what kind of bike it was, but I know that a lot of them have redlines ~14,000RPM, and he was using a lot of it to get my attention. The light changes, and it's on again, this time I have to launch from a dead stop against a lighter, (potentially) quicker vehicle. Maybe so, in more competent hands. He jumps the front wheel way off the ground again, but controls it better this time, but he still doesn't have the cajones to really get in it; Again, he's a wavering vision in the rear view.
Thomn8r 2, Crotch Rocket 0
The next light is the last of the series - now we're heading onto an expressway of sorts. Again, it's a standing start, but he's more judicious on the throttle this time, and actually gets a jump on me by a car length. I wind 2nd all the way out, and as I'm reaching for 3rd, I have him at my doors. By the time I hit 4th, he's in my mirrors.
Thomn8r 3, Crotch Rocket 0
I lift gently, and coast down to 65 or so, and he's content to just draft off me. He turns off at Arden, and does what looked like a wave - couldn't count the fingers - and he's gone.
After having his a55 handed to him 3x and almost dumping his bike 2x, I guess he'd had enough for the evening. In competent hands, it would have been no contest, but if tonight was any indication, some lucky kidney patient will soon have a donor.

YTNUKLR · YTNUKLR's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by widebody911
some lucky kidney patient will soon have a donor.

LOL. A guy I know (a cardiologist) calls them "donorcycles".

Jack Olsen · 03-09-2003, 01:37 AM

Nice, but I kept waiting for the point where the motorcyclist takes off his helmet -- to reveal the lawyer chick, who finally says "Now I see what the big deal is about those cars."

Porschephanatic · 03-09-2003, 02:45 AM

Quote:

[i]Originally posted by widebody911 In competent hands, it would have been no contest, [/B]

HaHaHA! Good one, Jack! It sure wasn't Nick Hayden riding that crotch rocket! I heard the Hyabusa(sp.) blasts through the 1/4 in the 8's or 9's @ over 150mph!

expat · 03-09-2003, 04:45 AM

Ahhh...love a good story. Well done!

I'm a little worried though about the '...more said than done...' though Tom. Are you saying you missed out! Your not losing your touch are you? Maybe she smelt the Lawyer on ya!

Well I can sleep better now I've heard a victorious car story and know there are others out there that get the '...more said than done...' experience too

RoninLB · 03-09-2003, 06:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by YTNUKLR
LOL. A guy I know (a cardiologist) calls them "donorcycles".

I hung w/a trauma center nurse from NYC.. same lingo

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by expathk
I'm a little worried though about the '...more said than done...' though Thom. Are you saying you missed out! You're not losing your touch are you? Maybe she smelt the Lawyer on ya!

Some turns you want to enter later than others; sometimes an early apex ends you up out in the weeds.

I bathed in cow manure before I went out to try and mask the lawyer smell.

pwd72s · 03-09-2003, 10:02 AM

I heard a heart transplant surgeon bemoan a mandatory helmet law because of less working material...macabre, or what?

MotoSook · 03-09-2003, 10:13 AM

Heh! We're not all dumb and inexperience.

Thom, I'm sure you have a great car, but that rider was obviously inexperienced or riding a very weak bike. Gawd, I feel sorry for the guy who buys that bike "used" when he gets done with it (revving the motor and racing it while he still has a paper plate...can't have broken in the motor yet). And I hope the lawyer lady doensn't read this board, now that you've taken another trixie out while she was out of twon