Tell us your "stupid move" story!

[BennyBroadcast]

This story was told to me by a mechanic. My apologies in advance for the fact that this is not P-car related :-)

An apprentice wrench was working in a dealers repair shop and was well used to doing the kind of no-brainer tasks like oil and filter changes etc. Another job he was entrusted with was doing routine valve adjustments on customers cars. Most, if not all, of the vehicles he worked on were equipped with hydraulc valve lifters. As everyone knows, you need oil for them to work so you set the clearances on them with the rocker cover off and the engine running. One simply winds up the locknut until the lifter stops chattering and, bingo, valve adjusted. One day, when the shop was super busy, the chief mechanic pointed him at a customers Alfa Romeo GTV and said "just do the filters oil and check the valves. The woman is coming to pick it up this afternoon" . Our hero performs the filter and fluid changes then moves on to the valves. With the cam cover off he gazes at the complexity of double overhead camshafts. Now he knows that he needs to use feeler gauges with these little babies and so arms himself with same. He reaches in and starts the motor (like you would) and then proceeds to poke the feeler gauge into the probable gap between the cam lobe and the valve follower. The engine stops instantly, accompanied by a loud, expensive noise. Work ceased in the shop at this point and curious mechanics sidled over to the apprenice to survey the damage. Our man was frozen as he stared at the carnage. The feeler gauge had jammed the valve open, the piston had hit the valve, the combined mechanical force had tried to stop the camshaft. They must use a very strong chain on theGTV because the cam actually sheared at the space between the sprocket and the first lobe. The head mechanic managed to cook up a story about unavailable parts and delays "this being a foreign car an' all" to put off the owner and then spent the weekend calling in every favour he had and worked all wekend to fix this little mistake.

[Zeke]

Took a auto painter/pin striper friend of mine up to Pasadena to pick up a Ferarri California Spyder 365 for a complete paint job back in the '60's. Coming down the Long Beach Freeway (710), the thing starts running terrible and painter man pulls into one of those off ramps that offers 2 exits and then feeds back on to the freeway. We look the thing over and decide to proceed not knowing a thing about Ferraris. I'm right behind in an old Chey PU. I hear him gun the engine while I'm looking back for a spot to merge back onto the road. Having seen the opening, I let the clutch out and....WHAM...right into the back of the horse. The painter had missed getting all the way into gear and never moved. I caved the back of the car in pretty good as it had no bumpers on in prep for the paint. I spent the next 2 weeks as an indentured apprectice to the painter as we had some signifcant extra work to do. It turned out and the owner never found out.

I just read in the new Autoweek that one of these cars just sold for around $600,000. Better look ahead before you pop the clutch.

[cicsprog]

My deck lid got stuck when replacing the brake light (cyclops). Misaligned decklid when reattaching and would not open. I ended up sticking a hacksaw blade and sawing through the nipple that holds the lid down when closed. Only took me three hours. Felt stupid. And coined my personal motto of "No good deed goes unpunished". This was before I was a member here and access to people who had tackled this problem before. So between the new cyclops and new $75.00 nipple - I learned my lesson on checking alignment before shutting the thing down.

Jason
88 911 Cab

[singpilot]

My new '80 SC, am still on probation.....
I strike a deal on an '80SC in Dallas. I have had an '83 944 for a couple of years, loved it. I fly to Dallas, do the PPi thing, passes, trade cash for car, start the drive back to SoCal. Car needs tires badly, no way to do late in the day in Dallas, so start driving. Make San Antonio in the pouring rain. Next morning, remembering the slip and slide on bald tires, go straight to Discount Tire, put a set of V-speed Kumhos on (they're great), and start out on I-10 for west coast. Figure I can be in Vegas in 2 days.

West of town, 50 miles or so, interstate turns into long, straight, rolling hills, 10 miles each valley or so. It's 9AM, no traffic, in fact had not seen another car or truck for two valleys. I decide to 'see what this baby will do'.

Sunroof open, 3.0 litres singing, top of a hill, no cars until next hill 10 miles away, let her rip.

Well past bottom of hill, I see 147 or so, decide that's good enuf for me. Let off of gas, gonna let her coast back to legal.

At top of hill, sitting on median, is a Texas State Trooper, coffee and donut in hand behind big rock looking at bright red Porsche with whale tail speeding by. I look at speedo, and see 105. Cop smiles. I just slow down and pull over. Big cloud of dust from behind rock, and trooper emerges from behind rock expecting long high speed intercept. Amazed to see me stopped on side of highway.

He pulls in behind, parking at an angle, and walks up to my open window. I'm keeping hands in sight, all the right stuff. He asks why I stopped. I reply that "I thought I'd save the state of Texas some gas".

He laughs, says 'License, registration, and Insurance". I give the signed off Texas pink, my USAA insurance and Nevada License. I tell him I just bought the car. He says stay put, I'll be right back.

He comes back with ticket book in hand. Says I and the car were clean. Says he is gonna write one of these 'famous Texas fixit tickets'. He says the laser got me at 95 going away. I didn't say a thing. He pauses while writing. He says since I didn't fight the 95, he knows I was probably doing more. He says 95 is as high as he can write without arresting me. I am quiet.

He asks... "Did I get a good deal on the car?" I ask "How much is that ticket gonna be?" He looks at the back of the ticket, and says "$135.00" I reply that the car was a much better deal 30 minutes ago. He stops writing because he is laughing so hard. He then explains the deal with the ticket. Because I am out of state, I am gonna be allowed to plead 'no lo contendere', and pay twice the fine, and be on probation only in Crockett County Texas for 6 months. Nothing will ever show up anywhere. Says every trooper from here to El Paso will be watching me. If I get another ticket, he will make this ticket for real (in fact every trooper I saw would pull alongside and wave at me for the rest of the day). He then asks if I am aware this entire stop is being videotaped. I wasn't, but then I see the mic on his tie, and that explains the cruiser being parked to point at my door. He says the judge is gonna love this tape, and a lot of his stops make the "COPS" program on TV. He asks what I do for a living (I fly an airliner), saying I should be a comedian in Vegas.

So watch for me guys. I may be on TV.

Michael Krebs
'80 911SC Guards Red
'83 944 Guards Red
'84 380SL
'87 420SEL
Manhattan Beach, Ca.

[1fastredsc]

One time i went to fix a thread with a timecert, and after putting on some locktite and inserting it, i realized i put the wrong one in it (too long). Some cursing and welding and problem fixed.

[John#6]

This one's from my wife --

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my
husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easy. Around
3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the
cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing
he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution
(even when smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him
12:00. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said,
"Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh ****,"
cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled,
cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted.

[Zeke]

My dad told that joke in 1955. It's good to know it's still around.

[GSpreeman]

LOL boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Supergranule]

I meant to post this when the thread was new. oh well. Never late than better.

I'm 19, and am currently trying to restore a 71 T and pretty much don't know what I'm doing. Anyway, the engine was stuck and I was puttng deisel in the cylinders to loosen things up, which worked. Later that day I was haning out with friends and wondering why things were so foggy outside. My frends kept telling me that it was not foggy at all, so I thought I just needed to replace my contacts. A few hours later things kept getting more foggy and my eyes were starting to burn badly, so decided to go home. Driving home, my eyes were burnng so badly I could hardly keep them open and things were so foggy I could barely see anythng. I was drivng maybe 20mph in the last couple minutes because my eyesght was so bad. When I got home, I took out my contacts, but they were mush! My eyes were blood red and I could harldy see colors. I thought I was gong blind! My mom ended up drivng me to the e.r. (she was not thrilled, it was almost 2am) and had my eyes cleaned, which was no fun at all. couldn't wear contacts for a week untill my eyes got better. the culprt: I got diesel fuel my eyes. Probably rubbed my eyes when it was all over my hands. duh. The diesel kinda acts like sandpaper and scratches up your eye.
Oh, and about a month later a friend of mne did the same thning...after makng fun of me and tellng me how retarded i was

[rennch]

You know, I've been following this thread for a few days now, and it's been funny and enlightening. Unfortunately, I get to be a contributor today.

Swapping batteries yesterday, I had them side by side. Took the first one out, slid the new one in. (I was running a borrowed battery, so I was replacing it.) Terminals were tough to get on, but I managed. I ran inside to get my keys, and when I got back to the car, smoke was *pouring* from the engine compartment. Sh**!!! I ran up and disconnected the battery. The terminals were reversed on the new battery...I fried my alternator. SH**!!!!!!

Well...it was running for a minute anyway...

Grrrrrrrr....

[nh911]

About a month after having my 911 painted I was changing wiper blades. All I needed to do was put the windshield wipers on. With the key in the on position I put the wiper on the drivers side. Then suddenly while the wiper was still in the up right position the wipers turned on. The result was the metal edge of the wiper scrapped a one inch by one inch chunk of brand new paint off the car. Apparently the wiper delay knob was turned so it was delayed like 5mins. Lesson learned never change wiper blades while the key is in the ignition.

[turn9]

After reading most of the stories, I don't know how you guys can make such foolish mistakes....the only thing worse would be something like driving away from the gas pump with the hose still attached to your car....

T9

[LWJ]

I just did my first engine drop in the SC. I had a 2x8 on the jack with a 4x4 on top of it. Put this under the engine and started lifting.

After the 2x8 cracked and the whole enchilada comes back down on the jack stands, I say a silent but very serious thank you to the fine people in China who make very high quality jack stands for Harbor Freight.

I have worked on cars for years and take safety very seriously. This was the closest call ever. Scared the hell out of me.

Larry

[malpaslane]

Ok, here,s one from the Uk, getting near to the end of my engine build on my 2.7 1976 car, one dark and cold night i started to put my cams back in, i,d been reading earlier in the day on this site about sealants and the temp they work at best and thought that i would warm up my engine lube and curil t by putting them in the pockets of my coveralls while i was getting the cams ready, i started on the right hand side first and was spreading engine lube all round the cam housing journals and making sure everything was lubed up nice, when i thought this is getting abit sticky, curil t and the lube are both green and i pick the wrong pocket, you can imagine the language coming from the garage that night.........

[sc_rufctr]

Originally Posted by malpaslane

... when i thought this is getting abit sticky, curil t and the lube are both green, you can imagine the language coming from the garage that night.........

Sounds like me... lol.

[stownsen914]

Well, I know an unfortunate fellow who had just rebuilt his Carrera 2 motor in the early 70s (the 4 cam 356 variety). He put the motor back in the car and took it out for a spin. Didn't get too far when he heard loud, expensive noises coming from the back of the car. The drain plug had not been tightened and backed out during the fresh engine's maiden voyage! Ouch ...

Another story in a similar vein ... a friend changed the engine oil in his new-to-him 964 RS America just before heading off to Mosport for a weekend track event. He thought it was strange that it took only a couple quarts of oil upon refilling, but figured maybe he just didn't know the new car well and proceeded. The car ran well all weekend, and he drove home. The next time the car was in the shop, he got a bewildered call asking why the transmission was empty of fluid. Apparently instead of draining the engine oil, the owner had mistakenly drained the trans and ran it empty at the track! One full trans rebuild later, the car was all set to go ...

As for me, the best one that comes to mind was when I pushed my '74 914 (my first car that I'd just gotten) into the garage, and put big scratches down the passenger door when the car ran up against the firewood storage hoop that was sitting adjacent to the garage doorway.

Scott

[WRGREENER]

Installed new battery... Side mount/with neg on left..my set up is neg on right (battery:series 70 "porsche 911" nomenclature) burt alternator, wiring harness (ground wire only), cdi shot (not sure if it was the battery prob or just coincidence that it went out at the same time. Hey, it was dark at the time

[DanielDudley]

I was changing my pads outside of my old apartment, and I had retracted the calipers and slipped the pads in. Wheels on, jackstands out, and off I go. I head for a parking space, to do a three point turn, and I hit the brakes, with the calipers totally retracted. It took seven pumps to get the brakes back.

The curb was six pumps away. I climbed right over that puppy, right up until the front tires hit it. Not too much damage, except for the huge dent in my ego...

[Canada Kev]

Originally Posted by turn9

After reading most of the stories, I don't know how you guys can make such foolish mistakes....the only thing worse would be something like driving away from the gas pump with the hose still attached to your car....

T9

Seen it done. Amazingly, the hose didn't get damaged but just about ripped the pump off the island. I suppose it's one thing to leave your gas cap on the pump or filler door open, but that one seems kinda dumb.

[yel911]

Well, this ones hurts....still.
I was 17 years old, sporting a 1968 Chevelle, 327 with a powerglide automatic tranny. My car was giving me starter problems off and on.... One Saturday morning, being late for work, I went to start the car with no luck. So I proceeded to leave the key on and pump the gas (for the choke) and use a screwdriver to arc the starter from the passenger side, leaning over the fender. The car started (which happened to be in DRIVE!!!) and took off straight into my brothers 71 Corvette body sitting on rollers!!! The Chevelle pushed the Corvette into the garage looking like it was popping a wheelie!!! That's when the Corvette nose broke off at the firewall!!!! I jumped in the Chevelle and backed up, then pealed the Vette off the garage...... While my neighbor watch the whole thing happen....