Tell us your "stupid move" story!

[zuffen]

Hi All,
I am a longtime lurker few time poster, these posts have been cracking me upso I thought I would share. I think I have a winner here. I got my first 911 a few years back and I had to rebuild the engine ans of course hilarity ensued. I go through the process of new everything and doing the work myself. long story short the engine was installed and I was ready to fire up the car. So I crank her over and foomp,foomp,foomp,foomp,Bang Bang! I go to the back of the car and there is smoke coming out of the carbs? OK so I have gas, spark, but did I put the plug wires in 180 degrees off? change those and try again fooomp, fooomp,fooomp,fooomp,bang bang bang? what the ? after two days of trying everything (re-adjusting valves etc....) to get her started I realized the cams were switched(right in the left and left in the right) and after spending all the time setting up the cam timing I was running the engine backwards. Yes that is right the intake was coming through the exhaust! needless to say once the cams were put in correct ( and I rebuilt the carbs) everything turned out OK
but talk about a A$$clown newbie move sheesh

JW

[GSpreeman]

Just last summer I flew down to Charlotte to purchase my P-car. I told the guy it had been years since I'd driven a clutch so he said we should probably drive around town for a little while so that I could get used to it. So, we take off from his house, go up the hill to a stop sign where I put the car in neutral and wait for traffic. There's a clearing in traffic so I put it in gear and punch the gas. We both just about crapped our pants when all of the sudden we were zooming back down the hill backwards! I hit reverse instead of first.

[Rondinone]

Ha! I think Zuffen wins the prize. Although running oneself over with a truck is pretty original too.

[rhenriksen]

Okay, I'd forgotten this one, you people made me remember!

I'd jacked a car (can't even remember which one now) up on a little bottle jack, and didn't support it with jackstands. Had my head stuck inside the front wheel well, next to the tire, heaving away on some bolt.

You know what happened next... car rolls forward off the jack, wheel well hits the back of my head, bounces my forehead off the tire, and... *doesn't* pinch my neck off! As soon as I realize I"m not going to get squished, I'm a happy camper. Then I realize I can't get my head out! I'm stuck at the side of the car with my head buried in the wheel well, ass towards the rest of the world.

At a time like this, panicing doesn't do any good, so instead I had a good laugh. There was nobody else there to laugh at me, so I figured I had to take care of that end, too.

After I relaxed & thought about it, I realized I could move along the tire towards the ground, and the gap opened up enough to "pull my head out". In more ways than one.

[88911coupe]

These are great but someone is not fessing up on an extremely old and absolutely hysterical incident. It was one of us old time Pelicans (Lendaddy???) who was monkeying around with the bolts on the back of the engine, not realizing what they were for. Next thing he knows the engine dropped out of the car!! Apparently not any real damage, other than ego and needing to change his shorts. I would not be surprised if the person decides to remain silent but Jack or someone will probably remember which one of us it was.
Later

[JeremyD]

I was doing some work on a Triumph spitfire - had it jacked up on an old bottle jack, one side tire blocked. Anway I was wrestling with a starter and kicked the block from the front of the tire and the car came forward and fell off the jack. Luckily I saw it was moving and scrambled out of the way very quickly. The front suspension missed my head by inches - but the tire came smack down on my shirt tail that was now tight under my arms (from scambling).

Anyway - my parents were out of town (I was in high school) We had the garage in back of the house. I was wearing this very heavy duty polo shirt that had taped hems and everything.

The car was wedged so I could'nt roll it off my shirt. I was 4 feet away from my tools so coulnd't get to anything - The shirt with all it's reinforcement proved impossible to chew off. I tried - I could'nt get my arms up high enough to slip it over my head.

So, I ended up spending the night on the Garage floor. Luckily my buddy was supposed to pick me up in the morning - came to the house and since I didn't answer the door came back to the garage to see if my car was still there.

I learned some valuable lessons from that one - Chock more than one wheel - Always have a phone within reaching distance, always block and use jackstands - and now I never work on my car in anything heavier than a T-shirt!

[joehahn]

WINNER = Jeremy Dixon. Hysterical

joe 68 L

[JEB]

"Then I realize I can't get my head out! I'm stuck at the side of the car with my head buried in the wheel well, ass towards the rest of the world."

LMAO - that could be a winner. I can just picture the whole scene. That is really good.

[CHILI]

zuffen and Jeremy964: Definitely some funny ****! I'm so paranoid when I have to get under my car. Now, I really will be!

But I want to hear the story that 88911coupe mentioned, from the source! Let's start a chant: "let's hear the story"... "let's hear the story"... "let's hear the story"... "let's hear the story"...

[cstreit]

I dunno, the thought of Jeremy sitting on the floor trying to gnaw his way out of a polo shirt is almost too much to bear.

[pbs911]

It was one of us old time Pelicans (Lendaddy???) who was monkeying around with the bolts on the back of the engine, not realizing what they were for. Next thing he knows the engine dropped out of the car!!

I remember that post, but I'm not going to name any names. Besides I haven't seen Kurt around for a while.

I'll fess up to a similar event. I had a leak at what I thought was the intermediate shaft seal at the rear of the motor. I order the seal and proceed to determine how to get to the leaking area to determine exactly where the leak originated. Well the motor mount cross bracket runs across the rear of the motor making it difficult to see. I look at it but can't for the life of me figure out what the bracket does. It looks like it holds the motor up, but I know that the the motor mounts are at the sides of the engine compartment. Thaose things are nowhere near where I am looking at. You see what's coming?

I start undoing the bolts that hold the cross braket to the motor. I get to the last bolt and it's difficult. I get to the last thread and suddenly the last bolt goes BANG and shoots out to the side and DOWN goes the motor. Luckily it only dropped about 3 inches before the wrench gets wedged between the motor and the mounting braket. After feeling like an idiot, I jack the motor back up and reinstall the bolts. Needless to say, I passed an attempting to find the oil leak.

[fred cook]

About 25 years ago, I was working for a shop in Atlanta that specialized in the maintenance and repair of Alfa Romeo automobiles. The owner was a racer (at heart if not in deed) and he had all the shop mechanics working till 3-4 in the morning putting his Duetto race car together for an upcoming SCCA race at Road Atlanta. We finally got to the point of actually assembling the engine and he pointed to a block and front timing chain cover and said "Use these parts". Some Alfa motors have the dipstick tube in the block, some in the front cover. Well, like I said, it was in the wee hours, practice was the next day, and we were in a hurry to get the engine assembled and in the car. So we assembled and we installed, but when I went to check the oil level, I reached for the dipstick on the side of the block, only to find it was not there. Undisturbed, I walked around the car, knowing it would be in the front cover. Nope, not there. So, I walked back around the car to check the side of the block (by now it was 4:00 in the am) for the dipstick, finally realizing that we had built an engine without any means of checking the oil!
By then, it was too late to pull the engine back apart, so the race car went to Road Atlanta minus a dip stick. After each practice, we would drain the oil and put 5 quarts back in. That was the only way to know there was enough oil in the engine. Mercifully, the engine blew up part way thru the race and we got to go home and sleep!

Fred Cook
'80 911SC coupe

[CHILI]

Man, I'm glad I re-visited this thread! I hadn't read the last two. That' hilarious. Having to drain and replace the oil after each practice. What a pain.
But, the reason I'm reviving this is because... you guessed it, I made a boneheaded move!
I went to leave work the other day and realized I had left my lights on (my Honda, not the P-car). Why I turned my lights on I don't know, it's summer! Anyway, after realizing why my alarm wouldn't turn off, a buddy came out and saw that I needed a jump. He had some cables and pulled his car over to mine. I popped the hood put the cables on. Got in my car and NOTHING. Not even an attempt to turn over. I thought, Hmm, what gives. Got out checked the cables to see if one popped off, and guess what? I put them on backwards! Me! The guy that has had entire cars torn apart! Man, I was so mad. I fried a 65 amp fuse right after the battery (luckily it was there). I popped out another fuse for the power windows and used it, but it was only 45 amps so it worked once. started the car, but that was it for that fuse. Had to buy two! By the time I got home and jumped in the P-car to get some fuses, it was dark. Fixed it all up and sat down to eat dinner at 10:00PM! Walked out of work at 7:00 and did nothing but fix my F-up until 10:00! Erg, what a loser, I can't even jump start a car!

[vesnyder]

Here is a good one - Had some ignition work done on my car and the key would stick when I turned it over. Was doing some work from the backseat and reached over to the front to turn the car on, not realizing it was already on. I actually engaged the starter and the jolt from the starter pushed me into the back seat while the key stuck in the "starter engaged" position. The car moved about ten yards before I could disengage the starter and ended up in the neighbors back yard? Had to go clean out my pants!

[surflvr911sc]

Bonehead move w/ pics!

Last weekend at my engine drop. "all we have to do now is disconnect the clutch linkage... everything disconnected, pop the tension off the helper spring...BAM" Helper spring and release arm on the forehead.

Who knew it would just fall off?

[Tim Walsh]

at least the doctor was smart enough to remember safety glasses

[nigel911]

Bought an early 911 as a 'work in progress' without making my fortune first.

[GSpreeman]

Got a 356 restoration project sitting in my garage. Wish I knew something about mechanics.

[47silver]

1964 vw, put on new tie rods..18 years old and my first car, only had a couple of cotter pins, so i would put in later after i get new ones....some friends needed a ride...yeah, into the city from the suburbs. through the tunnel the car kinda is not steering too nicely, over the bridge,,, hmm, have to make about a 90 degree turn sooon.... wont turn have to go straight....yeah the tie rod bolt on the drivers side wheel came off and so did the tie rod. i coasted to a stop and we were able to get out and turn the wheel to get it to parking spot.

poopies in my pants, thanked all of the gods after that, and learned much needed humility.


gary

[CHILI]

poopies in my pants, thanked all of the gods after that, and learned much needed humility.

I think many of us with posts on this thread should be saying that!