Psychological help needed! VERY LONG

[jhawk1000]

I have only been on this board a few months but I decided that I need professional help. First off I will tell you about the guy who first joined this group.

1. Owner of a 1980 Porsche 911 SC Targa since it was new.

2. Lawyer with interests in photography with over $20,000 worth of digital SLRs and lenses.

3. Interested in computers with the latest and greatest in every possible room in the house, every office in my firm, laptops for my wife and I. (Wife is a professional photographer so I can sluff off some of this on her( but then she has more cameras and lenses

4. A traveler who goes anywhere at the suggestion, "let's go". Latest trips were to Germany for two weeks, then home to work for 6 months then Romania for 2 and 1/2 weeks with trips to Germany and Romania planned for the next few months.

5. A guy who thought that a clean car was one which had good paint, no scratches or dings, freshly washed, vacuumed, tires shined, wheels clean, interior cleaned and somtimes armor-alled.

6. A guy who tried to get the manufacturer's maintenance schedule followed but sometimes would go over by a thousand miles or so.

7. A guy who would come home from work, eat, get on the internet, watch some sports, go to bed, occasionally make out with the wife, pet the dogs and sleep peacefully.

I am not that guy anymore! Because of this forum I have changed. I need help, professional help, help specifically to cure my anal fixation on perfection in all things Porsche.

I still have the 1980 Porsche 911 SC Targa but it has reached the point that nothing major needs done. Hell, I can't even find anything minor to do so I think I will replace the brake pads---again! I spent all morning this morning with fine OOOO steel wool taking any blemish off of the fan shroud, the fan, the air conditioning compresser, had to use armor all on all the fuse boxes, airbox, rubber hoses and even took tire shine and cleaned off the heater hoses. After all that, you would think I would be satsified but Oh No, we had to polish the fan and shroud again with mag polish---this makes the third time this month.

I find that my arsenal of car care products has gone from Turtle Wax to Zymol, Zaino, Meguiars, Connoly Hide food, Zymol Leather care, Lexol with the same type of waxes and polishes. I delight in going shopping again to see if I can find the right sized wire and bristle brushes for that specific job. I can't believe it, but I found some dust at the back of one of my airconditioner vents last night which led to a quick trip to the store for Qtips this morning.

I just finished washing it with Zymol wash, used Invisible glass cleaner on the windows, Lexoled the dash and seats Again! I seem to average about 20 miles per leather treatment. My wife is happy that she has a seat belt so she does not slide off the seat

I have replaced the 85mph speedo with a 180 and now worry that the speedo seems to make me think I am going too slow. I replaced the fuel gauge and oil level gauge since the new one is prettier. My clock was just replaced and I found that a wire had come loose so my old clock was okay but this one is prettier While I was at it, I bought all new instrument bulbs and replaced them as well as all interior and engine compartment lights. I bought a wheelskin cover in red and black, a momo shift knob in black with a red shift boot. I now have the 930 crest on my steering wheel after much grinding of the post and figuring the correct amount of liquid nails to affix the crest without squirting out.

I have new rear seats, top and bottom, new but used all leather seats in the front, new mats, and did I forget to tell you, new Zymol leather care along with the other brands.

I rarely touch my Nikon cameras unless I am taking a picture of the engine of the Porsche or some neat shot of the car coming in the drive, sitting anywhere or doing anything.

Computers? Only if they can get PelicanParts or some other site that some ne'er do well pointed me to which is full of auto detailers who make me feel sane.

Travel? Dear are we going to be anywhere near Stuttgart/Zuffenhausen?

Clean car? I learned on this site and on the detailer's insanity site that clean is never good enough---better than original is the goal using the original parts. Wheel wells? Yes, I clean them---often but never have I jacked up a car, put stand under the car and crawled under it to take every vestige of dirt in every nook and cranny out. I figure that the only person to see that would be my mechanic (who is beginning to wonder about me since I bring in printed summaries of discussions on the list with the car) or the guy I just ran over. I am starting to worry about dust in places that only God would see.

Manfacturers recommended service intervals? Pshaw---that is for those who blindly follow convention . I am starting to believe that an oil change should be every other trip out of the garage since that would allow me to buy more parts and tools. I also think that Turbo tie rods and Big Red brakes should be mandatory on any vehicle inspection. I think that the presence of a catalytic converter should force the owner to donate the car to charity. Wheels? Never enough, never too wide, never too polished or painted or whatever. Engine cleanliness? I now understand that clean means powder coated and brushed with a tooth brush each and every day.

Family time? What is that? My wife is asleep long before I get off of the Pelican Parts online catalog and when I finally trudge to bed, I dream only of dirt, grease and water spots.

I need help. Anyone know the name of a good---nay excellent Porsche psychiatrist. My wife thinks I need a proctologist instead of a psychiatrist---at least she did the last time we actually talked.

Mel

[on-ramp]

I can help you.

$60/hr

[TerryH]

LOL! Good reading and many here have similar stories. Pretty cool you've owned that Targa since new. I've had my '81 since March and am enjoying it immensely, but no way could I have afforded it in 1981. I was still trying to get into my first house.

So you're a photo nut and a p-car nut? Where the heck are the pictures of this pampered pet?

[jpahemi]

Time to buy an 89 930 to cure obession(mint condition only).
j.p.

[rdane]

You'd make out with the wife more if you only owned a coupe

Now where are the pictures? Dog? Car? and wife?

[911mot]

Nah your not even halfway there yet mate.
A wife??
A family??
A job??
A mechanic??

And also you seem to have forgotten to upload the picture

Tut tut.

[Beethoven]

Oh dear.
First off, as we say in the profession: acknowledging the problem is half the way to the cure. Secondly: so long as you can write ironically about your fixation, you're going to be ok. Very funny write-up.

Here's the way out of your predicament: go to the track. Get an instructor. Practice. Read books on performance driving. Learn heel-toeing. It's not about going fast, but about driving smoothly and 'spiritedly.' Take your wife. One of the surprising things I learned is that women like to drive fast, and they're good at it, too.

Secondly, take a night course in automotive engineering, or apprentice somewhere. You're too much of an outside person, you need to get into the innards where grime and oil and fuel reign. Dirty hands, fingernails, clothes. No more detailing. Concours is evil!

You'll slowly recover, and after a few months will have forgotten that Q-tips can be used for anything else but your ears.

[Grady Clay]

Mel,

Beethoven has some good suggestions. Here are mine:

Go buy a reasonably well set-up 911 track car. Apply your talents to that effort while “reasonably” maintaining your SC.

I am also an original owner of a 911 that is only 12 years older than yours. It has not been pampered in spite of my buying a race car at the same time.

Send me your e-mail address and I will send you a draft of a White Paper of “How to go racing.”

Best,
Grady
gradyclay@hotmail.com

[Bob's Flat-Six]

We'll need pic's and a list of recent upgrades to be able to fully evaluate you mental condition.

Enjoy

[1973911s]

Post some pictures

[Gunter]

Mel: You sound serious so, I am going to be serious: It's called Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and can be treated successfully with group therapy. You may also have a touch of controlling issues stemming from an overly controlling parent, usually the mother. It is serious and can affect relationships; it certainly prevents you from enjoying your Porsche without constantly worrying about its condition. I would recommend professional help with a councilor. A community health service in your area can help you with directions. Your write-up shows that you have recognized these issues and that is a good step in the right direction. A very good and honest story; thanks for sharing. Best wishes.

[tycharle964]

you failed to mention if you put vaseline on your wheels to help with cleaning and shine

i like the catalytic converter comment

[jhawk1000]

A couple of shots. One with the wife driving home after a hard photo shoot of a custom car for a magazine.

New (used seats) from Jim Buckley of this list.

More to come.

Me;

[Paulporsche]

jhawk,

What's your point?

[jhawk1000]

A couple more of the psychological wrecker!

The final one shows just how far I have gone downhill. Porsche crested valve stem covers. I need help!!!!!!

Mel

[jhawk1000]

One final shot of the engine compartment and the work on the fan and shroud. It was dirty, dirty, dirty when I started but I figure a few hours each week will get it spit shined. I will be replacing the fabric and aluminum heat hoses over the shroud soon. It looks like the devil. Now if I was a true gunner, I would drop the engine, powder coat all the valve covers, degrease every drop of oil and grease, spit shine the case, buff out the motor mounts, put porsche decals on the strap, powder coat everything that would not stand still but I have found peace and solace with the advice I have received here. I'm going to buy me a roller, a 3.6, roll cage, 5 point belts, some racing seats, maybe a turbo or supercharger and some radical exhaust system, a spray device to spray fuel into the exhaust so I can flame everyone behind me. Yep that is what I will do. I feel better with a plan. If my wife will let me!!!

Mel

[jhawk1000]

Forgot to show the interior.

Mel

[Type911]

Mel,

Great looking car !

0000 steel wool & mothers polish did that to your fan ?

...You really are a sicko

[Zeke]

It's all very simple. Buy another 911 in addition to the Targa. The amount of attention to the SC will subside to previous levels. Perhaps attention to the wife will increase.

Don't ask me how this works. Besides, the attention to the wife (and dogs, we can't forget the dogs ) could go either way. Once you tear into a car and keep going sliding down the slippery slope of while-you're-in-there syndrome, you will come to apprciate the SC in ways you've never known. And maybe the wife, too.

OK, that's kinda how it works. YMMV

[jhawk1000]

At the request of rdane, here are the dogs. First one is Wilhelm Dieter and the second is Liesl Kali. Both are dachshunds with Willy being 1 1/2 years and Liesl being 2 years old.

Mel