Ventilation System Operation

[randywebb]

There have been several questions about this recently, so I thought I would post the Official Factory Explanation:

Subject: RE: Heat Control FAQ for Pooschey


Q: I just bought a Pooschey 911 and can't figure out how to make the heater work -- or the fresh air either. Can you help me?

A: Sure, I can help you. The ventilation system requires that you operate 4 levers to make it work. 3 of the levers are on the dash, and the other is between the seats on newer Pooscheys there are 2 levers between the seats).

The top lever on the dash actually does several different things (remember, it is a fiendish German device, just like the rest of the car). Pushing it to the middle opens the dust ports leading to the windshield (see below for operation of fogging machine and oil mist spray device). Pushing it to the
right past the middle also activates the rattling noise-maker device. There are three loudness levels to choose from. Pushing the lever all the way to the left is used to jam the cable so unauthorized personnel cannot operate
any of the devices above. The lever also enables the automatic heat exchanger signalling device -- when opening it spews rust particles on the windshield, you should replace the heat exchangers. Also, if opening it causes you to immediately turn blue or purple (not just hair, but skin
color) and become unconscious, you (or your estate) should definitely replace the heat exchangers.

The second lever from the top controls the lights on the White House Xmas tree. Move it to the middle to turn on the lights, and all the way to the right to fire 4500 Megatons of Nukes at Iraq.

The bottom lever on the dash is used to replace the windshield when it becomes scratched or pitted with rock chips. It also determines how much hot air goes to your feet as opposed to your head. For example, let's say the engine is completely warmed up and the hot air is burning your feet. If it's a cold day, you can flip the lever to the other side and shoot hot air onto the windshield so it cracks and shatters. Then call your insurance company (you do have insurance, don't you?)

The lever between the seats controls the oil mist spray device. When the engine is warmed up, this lever allows you to blow oil mist into the passenger cabin. Using the top dash lever lets you select whether you want the oil mist to coat the inside of the windshield or to just circulate around your feet. On a newer Pooschey, you have 2 levers on the floor
between the seats. The left hand lever lets you open the left side vents which are aimed so they burn the feet of the person in the right hand seat, and the right hand lever lets you open the right side vents which are aimed so they burn the feet of the person in the left hand seat. Of course, each
lever will also burn just the tops of the feet of the person in the other seat. If you are driving in the rain (or even stopped in the rain after the car has broken down), these levers also let you spray a fog of water vapor on the windshield, so no one can see in or out of the car -- sort of like privacy glass.

[Hugh R]

That's great!

I've got a rotary switch thing between the seats and when I turn it, it makes a whirrling sound, When you turn it to the first setting the soles of your shoes melt. I haven't tried turning it to 10 yet.

[sfmlaw17]

I was wrong then. I told everyone that middle lever was the suicide switch. One push to the side and you get the same benefit you would had you routed the hose from the exhaust directly to the cabin.

[randywebb]

The rotary switch was added to the newer cars after the demise of the swinging 70's. It is known as the Sexual Assist Device. The whirring you hear is the faint remnant of its original vibratory function.

[HarryD]

Originally posted by randywebb
There have been several questions about this recently, so I thought I would post the Official Factory Explanation:

Subject: RE: Heat Control FAQ for Pooschey


Q: I just bought a Pooschey 911 and can't figure out how to make the heater work -- or the fresh air either. Can you help me?

A: Sure, I can help you. The ventilation system requires that you operate 4 levers to make it work. 3 of the levers are on the dash, and the other is between the seats on newer Pooscheys there are 2 levers between the seats).

The top lever on the dash actually does several different things (remember, it is a fiendish German device, just like the rest of the car). Pushing it to the middle opens the dust ports leading to the windshield (see below for operation of fogging machine and oil mist spray device). Pushing it to the
right past the middle also activates the rattling noise-maker device. There are three loudness levels to choose from. Pushing the lever all the way to the left is used to jam the cable so unauthorized personnel cannot operate
any of the devices above. The lever also enables the automatic heat exchanger signalling device -- when opening it spews rust particles on the windshield, you should replace the heat exchangers. Also, if opening it causes you to immediately turn blue or purple (not just hair, but skin
color) and become unconscious, you (or your estate) should definitely replace the heat exchangers.

The second lever from the top controls the lights on the White House Xmas tree. Move it to the middle to turn on the lights, and all the way to the right to fire 4500 Megatons of Nukes at Iraq.

The bottom lever on the dash is used to replace the windshield when it becomes scratched or pitted with rock chips. It also determines how much hot air goes to your feet as opposed to your head. For example, let's say the engine is completely warmed up and the hot air is burning your feet. If it's a cold day, you can flip the lever to the other side and shoot hot air onto the windshield so it cracks and shatters. Then call your insurance company (you do have insurance, don't you?)

The lever between the seats controls the oil mist spray device. When the engine is warmed up, this lever allows you to blow oil mist into the passenger cabin. Using the top dash lever lets you select whether you want the oil mist to coat the inside of the windshield or to just circulate around your feet. On a newer Pooschey, you have 2 levers on the floor
between the seats. The left hand lever lets you open the left side vents which are aimed so they burn the feet of the person in the right hand seat, and the right hand lever lets you open the right side vents which are aimed so they burn the feet of the person in the left hand seat. Of course, each
lever will also burn just the tops of the feet of the person in the other seat. If you are driving in the rain (or even stopped in the rain after the car has broken down), these levers also let you spray a fog of water vapor on the windshield, so no one can see in or out of the car -- sort of like privacy glass.

Were these instructions issued before or after Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles were asked to take a look at the ventilation system to verify the operating instructions?

[mede8er]

I just spit a mouthfull of perfectly good Crown Royal all over my keyboard......

[Gordo2]

Originally posted by randywebb

The second lever from the top ... Move it all the way to the right to fire 4500 Megatons of Nukes at Iraq.

I read this and immediately went for a drive, making sure to adjust the middle lever to the far right. Got back and checked the news but didn't see any headlines indicating that it worked.

Any idea how I can get it working correctly?


Gordo

[qikcpa]

I thought the levers between the seats were there to provide the spark in the engine compartment to ignite the gasoline fumes.

[randywebb]

Gordo - you can't tell anymore. We're pretty much just moving rubble back and forth now over there.

[Cold Deck]

Thanks for the post, Randy. That saves me a bunch of time because I thought mine was broken...seems to be working to spec.

Looking forward to future articles on AC operation, transmission shifter, oil pressure gauge, oil level gauge, valve adjustment, spare tire deflation...

You made my day, thanks.

[djmcmath]

Oddly enough, I just had the weirdest experience. For me, the 911 is normally a "special" car. This week, a friend was in town, and I had to loan him my Honda, so I spent the whole week driving the 911. ... But this morning, I'm back in the Honda, and I reached instinctively for the damper controls between the seat, and instinctively pushed all the levers to the right to fire up the defrost. "Stupid Japanese, why couldn't they just install separate fans for hot and fresh air! @#$@..."

Dan

[declang]

rofl.

I searched for info on heater controls, found this thread, and thought.. great, I'd better read this before I bother printing it out for reference !

Excellent explanation.

[bigchillcar]

every full change of seasons i have to re-learn how to work the damn things. i'd rather watch a full hour of reality television than have to go through the learning curve again..again.
ryan

[Paulporsche]

At least the owner pronounced it correctly: Pooschey, not Poosch.