And the punchline goes......

Hey Meester, I finished painting the porch, but that was no porch, that was a mercedes.

" Are you sure that hood will support both of us? "

"That thing got a billet intake ?"

nah, I just made that up ;)

Some of the younger guys on the Tiburon forums I get on use the term 'sick' for everything... it's not 'cool' any more, it's sick.

So I proposed the next step in that path... '$hitty'. $hitty will take over for 'sick' in the near future.

So you'll be cruising in your fine, shiny Porsche, and some dumb kid will say "DAMN!! That car is $HITTY!!" and you'll know to take it as a compliment.

From Super......Neat......Groovy......Cool.....Sick.... .Ill, now (Gulp) $hitty?

I think I'm going to be...well.....Ill(?)

P.S. I'm pretty sure I missed a few in there. Oh well, sucks to be old!:D

Noah, I assume the unspoken last line of your second story is "No ticket"?

Okay, this one kind of annoyed me. Asked by an employee at Big O Tires:

Employee: Dad's car?
Me: No... mine
Employee: Is that a Fatboy?
Me: No it's called a Widebody.
Employee: Same thing.

I get the "is that a BRAND NEW 2005 model???" all the time as well.

What year is your Mitsubishi Eclipse?

I was in the parking lot of a safeway with my 79 sc and this guy walks up and says;
him: wow an sc that thing must be a blast to drive sice its supercharged
me: oh its not supercharged sc stands for super carrera
him: oh well do you take it out to the street races ever?
me:?

"Ill" is in and "sick" is out? Oh crap Im feelling $hitty! Im still using "freakin" as an adjective... my alltime worst hated to hear was "thats ssswwweeeeeetttt"
OK back on track here for dumb questions
Them... thats a cute car ... what is it? ( looking at my 77 911)
me.... a 77 porsche 911
them... Oh .... I never heard of those before....
me,,(thinking they didnt understand me) its a PORSCHE .
them.... nope never heard of such a car
me... ( walking away shaking my head in disbelief)

Approaching the 911 on a restaurant parking lot, I see a group of old ladies getting out of their Crown Vic.

1st old lady: What kind of car IS that?
2nd old lady, walking around the back: It's a..... Camera???
Me: It's a Carrera
1st old lady: What the Hell is that?
Me: It's a Porsche.
2nd old lady: Then why does it say "Camera" on the back?
Me: Just kidding, it's a Camero. Bye.

Here's one I get all the time when people first see my 25 year old 911 (that I bought for $8k):
Wow, did you hit the lottery or something?

The irony is they are usually driving a $45k SUV or something.

I get similar stuff too, sammy. I explain that the price of this car was the same as a new Hundai. Of course I don't mention the price of the other new Hundai I've since spent on it.

"Vinyl? Porsche uses vinyl?" Well, yeah

Or, my father in law the first time he get's in my non-sunroof, disconected A/C, crank windows, 72 with sport muffler. "Ah Luxury cars"
My response, LOL "Luxury? This car is basically a street legal race car."

Cubicle mate "Porsh"
Me "It's really pronounced Porsche"
Cubicle mate "Tom Cruse called it a Porsh in 'Risky Business', so that's what its called in this country"

Ex wife: That's funny, for that much money you would think it would ride nicer.

pulled over for speeding... 150km/h in a 110km zone
officer: why were you going so fast?
me: because I didn't see you.
officer: (laughing) funniest thing I have heard all day. I'll let you off with a warning

My lucky day

J
82 911 SC
92 325 i

I was working under my car in my garage with the garage door open one beautiful fall weekend morning. I had just finished adjusting the valves and was starting to put the exhaust valve covers back on when two people walked up to the car. I was on my creeper under the car, but I could see two pairs of neatly pressed black pants from the knee down.

"Hello, sir." said one pair of pants.

I rolled my creeper out and verified my suspicion -- Jehovah's Witnesses.

Me: Hi guys. What can I do for you?
JH1: I see you're working on your car. How many miles have you got on it?
Me: Lots. What can I do for you?
JH1: Wouldn't it be great if would last forever?
Me: Sure. What do you want?
JH1: Well, what if we told you there was a way that you could assure yourself a place in heaven for all eternity?
Me: Well guys, I'm really not shopping around for a new religion right now, and I'm kind of busy.
JH2: You can't spare a few minutes to assure your place in eternity?
Me: Maybe some other time, but I'm kinda busy putting my car back together right now. [rolls creeper back under car]
JH1: We'd like to leave you a copy of an informative booklet to read when you have more time.
Me: Can one of you guys please hand me that 13mm socket ?
JH1: We'll just leave it right here on the bumper.
Me: Can you just hand me a 13mm socket?
JH2: It's on your bumper.
Me: The socket?
JH2: No, The Watchtower.
Me: [rolling out, finding and picking up the 13mm socket] Guys, THIS is a 13mm socket.
[long pause, blank quizzical stares all around]
Me: Ah. I can see you're as interested in mechanics as I am in religion. Happy hunting, dudes.

I finished putting on the lower valve covers and rolled out again and they were gone. And evidently they decided not to leave me a copy of The Watchtower after all, but alas, neither did they take my copy of the Bosch Automotive Handbook.

I remain concerned for their immortal souls.

Ed

Not to worry. I got it from someone in the know that God drive a Porsche too. And he turns his own wrenches. Still having a little trouble getting the injectors set just right though.

That is the funniest comment so far.. haha