Stupid German Lighting Tricks

[HarryD]

After several years of reading posts on how our lights work on our car, I thought I would share.

Stupid German Lighting Trick #1:

A quick test that exploits a little-known feature of 911 wiring...

With lights off, the 'flash' activates the high beams.

With the parking lights (only) on, the 'flash' activates the _low_ beams.

This is controlled by a relay that you may be able to hear click in, under the dash, when the parking lights are activated.

If you get nothing with no lights on _and_ only parking lights, it _may_ be the stalk switch.

If you get the blue high beam indicator with lights off and flash activated, you know the switch is good but the relay is toast (or rewired wrong, intentionally or unintentionally).

Stupid German Lighting Trick #2:

When the headlights are in the On position with the engine running the headlights are on - naturally But if I turn the engine off, the headlights go out and the parking lights stay on.

Stupid German Lighting Trick #3:

Move your turn signal to either the left or right position while the parking lights are on - as you've noted, with the ignition off - and notice that only that side's lights remain on. A safety feature which allows drivers to see that you've foolishly parked half on the street while running into Moe's for a quick beverage.

[aj88cab]

Do you know how many Porsche owners are out in the garage or driveway right now flashing thier lights....

[Canada Kev]

I did that a couple months ago when I heard something similar, so I can well imagine...

[GothingNC]

Same as my VW's

[signature65]

Why is any of this "stupid" they are called parking lights for a reason, and everything else emphasises saving battery power.

[aj88cab]

In my 914, if you flip the left turn signal with the engine off, the radio lights will come on... Obviously a miswire from the PO, but it is so funny, I have just never corrected it.

[Dantilla]

Originally Posted by HarryD

Stupid German Lighting Trick #3:

Move your turn signal to either the left or right position while the parking lights are on - as you've noted, with the ignition off - and notice that only that side's lights remain on. A safety feature which allows drivers to see that you've foolishly parked half on the street while running into Moe's for a quick beverage.

This is a German requirement. This befuddled me when I drove my sister's Mercedes SL untill I figured it out.

[911s55]

What is the stupid part ?

David

[t-cup]

Or how about the rear fog light? On new Porsches, if you pull the light switch out one click, it activates the front fogs, twice and the rear fog (my '79 doesn't have this, but my Benz does). It's to improve visibility for drivers approaching from behind, and is common on European cars.

Over here I see tons of MB/BMW/Volvo drivers driving around day and night in clear conditions with this on. I used to think it was a wiring problem as I always seemed to notice it on '90s era Benzes. But now, I finally get it. It helps us identify the jackasses who don't read the owner's manuals.

--Tim

[HarryD]

Originally Posted by 911s55

What is the stupid part ?

David

David,

None! But I got you to read this didn't I.

[Boomtown Rat]

I didn't think it was any different in any other cars... But then again, I am in Germany, driving German cars. Could be that the TÜV (our version of DOT) requires our cars to perform these "stupid tricks".

[JohnJL]

Definately early 911 personality. The turn-signals turning on all the parking lights when the ignition is turned off always gets me at the gas station, especially without self-cancelling turn signals on the 71. Signal left into the station, turn the car off, go inside to pay, stand in line wondering why all the lights are on...

[euro911sc]

#2 and #3 are not stupid. As you pointed out!! They are designed and required in Europe. When you park on a narrow country road to visit your favorite watering hole you are supposed to leave the road side parking lights on so others do not run into you! Since you can pull in facing either direction you use the stalk to select the correct side.

Enjoy!

-Michael

[lgb240]

My European spec BMW e30 Touring has the same #2 and #3 features. In the #3 position, only the top quarter of the 'smiley' headlight stays on at the front.

I've had co-workers tell me that I've left my lights on at work, but think my electrical system is screwed up because only one side is lit, and only part of the headlight is working

lgb240

[burgermeister]

Is it just my imagination, or is there a trick #4, where the RH headlight has a more pointy, far-reaching pattern and the LH headlight has a more fanned-out pattern, presumably to avoid blinding oncoming traffic?

Not a bad idea, really ... though 1 out of 50 people here drive with the brights on anyway. It's all about competitive relative visual power, I presume: He who sees best wins, so if everyone else sees worse Mr. Brights sees better by relativity.

[signature65]

Originally Posted by burgermeister

Is it just my imagination, or is there a trick #4, where the RH headlight has a more pointy, far-reaching pattern and the LH headlight has a more fanned-out pattern, presumably to avoid blinding oncoming traffic?

Thats a DOT requirement and is seen in all cars. Go to a RHD country and you will notice the reverse to be true. This can be one of the most expensive requirements when trying to federalize a RHD car in a LHD country or vice versa!

[dfink]

Fog lights also only come on with low beam. Switch to high and the fog lights go off.

[tharbert]

After 25 years, the RPM transducer quits!

When I was first stationed in the UK early 80s, parking laws still required that, when parked along the verge of the road, you were supposed to turn on your parking lights. You used the turn signal to light the side of the car on the "road" side.

[drmatera]

when i turn just the parking lights on in my 86 930 thr driverside headlight comes on, but is dim.... WT?

[JohnJL]

If you want to see a stupid trick, go check your fuel pump circuit on a pre-1972 911.