Is this bad form? Just trying to pay it forward here and there...
 

Just curious of others thoughts on this –

I just got a “less than nice” email from a person in another marque’s car club basically giving me a ton of cr@p for giving away some parts, which negatively impacted his ability to sell his parts. All I did was respond to a WTB post by another member, saying I had what he was looking for and he was welcome to it. I have done this 3-4 times in the past year.

Here is my rational. Car clubs to me are equally - if not more so – social. I would not be involved/active in any club where I did not like the other members. Over time, members become friends. Like here on Pelican, I learn a great deal from searching other members posts, and from having my questions answered. There is huge value in that. So, if I have a part that has been sitting in my garage for 5 years, or goes to a car I no longer own, is it bad form to pay it forward?

As stated above, I have done this several times. However, to be clear, I have never (and I mean never) done so in any other members post where they were trying to sell something or in a situation where there was any sort of pending deal noted in the thread.

I am a relative newbie to this particular group, and the other party involved is a very long term member (decades) so I am biting my tongue so far – something I am not very good at. I would love to call him out.

Am I off base here?

Delete the email and try to forget it.

Some people are destined to be nice as you have been.....others are destined to be jerks.
You aren't going to change that person, let them go on.

Doing something nice is noble.

There is always an A$$ in the group. Just let it go not worth the breath to fight back. besides you will end up being the a$$ because you are new to the site, He has more friends on there that will bash you instead of him.
It's great to know there are still good people willing to help out fellow car guys... Have a great day and My best impresion "Forget about it "

You put it in WTB. You had what they wanted. You were being a good community member. Someone's FS thread is theirs and that would be the wrong place for it. But you didn't do that. Delete the email and move on. Not your field to plow.

My opinion is, they are your parts to with as you wish. If you want to give them away go for it, ignore the email and give away some more if you have them.

My initial post may be a bit dramatic/whiney - I just have never had that kind of confrontation in a car group. Really took me by surprise.

I think there is nothing wrong with it. You're being nice. I know I would appreciate it, and in fact have been the recipient of similar kindness. I'd let the snarky email go (which, for me, would not be easy to do).

The only suggestion I might give is to just PM the person and let him/her know you are willing to give them what they are looking for for free. That way no one can "call you out" for being nice.

You should try the Subaru forums. Those guys are a bunch of pricks. Needless to say I don't frequent them.

Are you serious Scott? :) since when is it wrong trying to be genuinely nice! Forget that guy!

I'm sorry but I have to disagree. Public displays of kindness are contagious and help making this world a better place. If all we see is greed it becomes much easier being greedy ourselves. SmileWavy

I've had people on this forum give me stuff twice when I thought I was going to pay for shipping or for the item. On other occasions I've purchased items from forum members for well below what a dismantler would charge. I've tried to do the same in turn and will continue to.
I think of the buy/sell board as a virtual swap meet. Paying it forward is part of what distinguishes a community from a sales lead generator. It's always good to take care of your car-karma too. You're doing the right thing.
GK

People are like a bowl of fruit. Some bruised, some are rotten, but from the looks of them they all look good. You can't always tell till you peal it or take a bite. This site is like that, as well as other forums. I wish there were more unblemished fruit in the basket. Soon the bruised or rotten ones will want to get paid for their advice and experiences. Thanks for being true pelican and keep the spirt up.pay it forward.

Good on you Scott, what goes around comes around.

If you have any 911 parts you want to get rid of, just let me know.

Regards,
Mike

Last time I check this isn't Ebay. If you responded to their for sale ad, I can see where they might be miffed but that's not what happened here

My answer would be: **** off. Strongly worded message to follow.

I have been the recipient of kindness through this forum. Both in terms of time, advice, physical help and "deals". Paying it forward is part of what makes car people generally good people. Uwanna came over to help with my first engine drop. I can't tell you how much that helped me. I hope I can help someone else like that someday.

I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

+1 You were/are nice and did a kind deed. I think the guy was hopefully just venting and will come to realize his mistake, but my first reaction was, as tirwin so eloquently put it: "**** off".

on edit - unless the guys name is Wayne Dempsey, it's not like it is his store or business or anything, and you didn't go to his site and cut him out. I think most of us get info here, and patronize Pelican and try to help others with advice when we can in turn. If he is expecting to make money here, he shouldn't bother Wayne's clientele.

Pay it forward....I do it when I can and appreciate it when I am the recipient.

You were doing a good thing...the person who took exception to it was being a dick.

regards,
al

I did miss that. But it doesn't change my answer.

Edit: I was confused by the wording "this particular group" in the original post. I assumed that he meant the person that email him was a long-time member here. Apologies for the confusion on my part. Reading and comprehending are different things. :) Carry on...

Some people are just greedy,you did the right thing.

Tell him to go **** himself with a cactus.

Or the mazdaspeed forums. Talk about meatheads. They pride themselves on being rude. I find that the older the car, the nicer the enthusiasts.

Yep, I've got to agree with that!

There's and asshat in every family. Just forget it and move on!

In a WTB ad it is all "Show me what you have and what the price is." In other words: All bets are off.

If you do that on someone's For Sale ad then that would have been hugely out of line.

-------
As pointed out the guy is a self centered idiot. In my world idiots need to be brought in line and publicly unveiling them is a good way.

- If it was me I would email him back and tell him as unemotionally as possible that no one has a claim on a WTB ad, that he has no personal claim on buyers unless he owns the web site, and he is being unbelievably rude and self centered for no justifiable reason. And if he doesn't apologize I would then reveal his correspondence so the he can't hide his actual actions.
- If his email was particularly vile, as an alternative I would start with the public disclosure and a publicly request for an apology.


"You are your actions."
People make excuses and try to explain things but the "real you" is that which you do.

Or loufa with a cheese grater.

Nice job. I've both received and given stuff I didn't need. Paying for shipping was optional on both ends but was done.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1427761719.jpg

Plus, Scott, you're the size of Jack Reacher ( not Tom Cruise, the book size) It seems that bravery is just a few clicks away.

We do this a lot in our VW forum, we have a thread setup just for "Free Stuff" The regular sellers don't give a flying crap

[QUOTE]Just curious of others thoughts on this – <br>
<br>
I just got a “less than nice” email from a person in another marque’s car club basically giving me <u>a ton </u>of cr@p for giving away some parts, which negatively impacted his ability to sell his parts. [QUOTE]

Are you kidding? The person who contacted you is a MORON!

You are cool. They are A JERK.

End of story.

One word Capitalism.

You're parts were worth their weight, which was worth exactly "one good deed".

Douche McNuggets can cry a river all he wants.

The BMW forums i frequent seem to be going downhill fast as young guys with no literacy but fast mouths start buying depreciated cars at rock bottom prices and implemented hack fixes to get them on the road. I'm hopeful they will discover audis or something.

Da txt spk shts me 2 tears, if u no wat I mn

Unfortunately for the gas-cap who gave you crap for doing something great, he will never know the feeling of doing something wonderful and getting shocked thank yous by people in awe of a kind gesture. I have given some stuff away or picked up the shipping and the response is priceless. Everyone should try it once. I know I was looking for early power window switches and a great guy on the S Reg sent me 4 and picked up the shipping as well. I never forgot that. We all do it here to some extent sharing free information on maintenance, repairs and adventures. Giving stuff is just a logical extension.

Good deeds usually reap great rewards in unexpected ways. I wouldn't worry about the opinions of others.

Gave away an '87 center reflector on Saturday to a friend who is really helpful and a nice guy. Who wants to fight with me about it? 😈

Seriously, just let it go. The other seller will too, soon enough.

Some people are just *********s!

I never even considered that giving parts away would piss someone off. I just gave away about $500 worth of various vintage Ford parts from an old '67 Mustang project. I figured I wasn't using them and I'd rather have them go to someone who'll use them than sit in my garage for another decade.

I think you did the right thing as its us helping one another out that keeps this hobby fun.

Unfortunately the world is full of wankers!

Try to let it go because people like this will always be angry about something or someone. I think what you did was really nice and I would do exactly the same thing.

Don't let the bastards get you down!

Do It Anyway

People are often unreasonable,
illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.