Is this bad form? Just trying to pay it forward here and there...

[Scott S]

Just curious of others thoughts on this –

I just got a “less than nice” email from a person in another marque’s car club basically giving me a ton of cr@p for giving away some parts, which negatively impacted his ability to sell his parts. All I did was respond to a WTB post by another member, saying I had what he was looking for and he was welcome to it. I have done this 3-4 times in the past year.

Here is my rational. Car clubs to me are equally - if not more so – social. I would not be involved/active in any club where I did not like the other members. Over time, members become friends. Like here on Pelican, I learn a great deal from searching other members posts, and from having my questions answered. There is huge value in that. So, if I have a part that has been sitting in my garage for 5 years, or goes to a car I no longer own, is it bad form to pay it forward?

As stated above, I have done this several times. However, to be clear, I have never (and I mean never) done so in any other members post where they were trying to sell something or in a situation where there was any sort of pending deal noted in the thread.

I am a relative newbie to this particular group, and the other party involved is a very long term member (decades) so I am biting my tongue so far – something I am not very good at. I would love to call him out.

Am I off base here?

[mowog63]

Delete the email and try to forget it.

Some people are destined to be nice as you have been.....others are destined to be jerks.
You aren't going to change that person, let them go on.

Doing something nice is noble.

[Len 911]

There is always an A$$ in the group. Just let it go not worth the breath to fight back. besides you will end up being the a$$ because you are new to the site, He has more friends on there that will bash you instead of him.
It's great to know there are still good people willing to help out fellow car guys... Have a great day and My best impresion "Forget about it "

[Matt Monson]

You put it in WTB. You had what they wanted. You were being a good community member. Someone's FS thread is theirs and that would be the wrong place for it. But you didn't do that. Delete the email and move on. Not your field to plow.

[turbo owner]

My opinion is, they are your parts to with as you wish. If you want to give them away go for it, ignore the email and give away some more if you have them.

[Scott S]

My initial post may be a bit dramatic/whiney - I just have never had that kind of confrontation in a car group. Really took me by surprise.

[wrxnofx]

I think there is nothing wrong with it. You're being nice. I know I would appreciate it, and in fact have been the recipient of similar kindness. I'd let the snarky email go (which, for me, would not be easy to do).

The only suggestion I might give is to just PM the person and let him/her know you are willing to give them what they are looking for for free. That way no one can "call you out" for being nice.

[wrxnofx]

Originally Posted by Scott S

My initial post may be a bit dramatic/whiney - I just have never had that kind of confrontation in a car group. Really took me by surprise.

You should try the Subaru forums. Those guys are a bunch of pricks. Needless to say I don't frequent them.

[H-viken]

Are you serious Scott? since when is it wrong trying to be genuinely nice! Forget that guy!

[H-viken]

Originally Posted by wrxnofx

That way no one can "call you out" for being nice.

I'm sorry but I have to disagree. Public displays of kindness are contagious and help making this world a better place. If all we see is greed it becomes much easier being greedy ourselves.

[Smoove1010]

I've had people on this forum give me stuff twice when I thought I was going to pay for shipping or for the item. On other occasions I've purchased items from forum members for well below what a dismantler would charge. I've tried to do the same in turn and will continue to.
I think of the buy/sell board as a virtual swap meet. Paying it forward is part of what distinguishes a community from a sales lead generator. It's always good to take care of your car-karma too. You're doing the right thing.
GK

[Drymartiniwi]

People are like a bowl of fruit. Some bruised, some are rotten, but from the looks of them they all look good. You can't always tell till you peal it or take a bite. This site is like that, as well as other forums. I wish there were more unblemished fruit in the basket. Soon the bruised or rotten ones will want to get paid for their advice and experiences. Thanks for being true pelican and keep the spirt up.pay it forward.

[brock911]

Good on you Scott, what goes around comes around.

If you have any 911 parts you want to get rid of, just let me know.

Regards,
Mike

[tirwin]

Last time I check this isn't Ebay. If you responded to their for sale ad, I can see where they might be miffed but that's not what happened here

My answer would be: **** off. Strongly worded message to follow.

I have been the recipient of kindness through this forum. Both in terms of time, advice, physical help and "deals". Paying it forward is part of what makes car people generally good people. Uwanna came over to help with my first engine drop. I can't tell you how much that helped me. I hope I can help someone else like that someday.

I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

[steely]

+1 You were/are nice and did a kind deed. I think the guy was hopefully just venting and will come to realize his mistake, but my first reaction was, as tirwin so eloquently put it: "**** off".

on edit - unless the guys name is Wayne Dempsey, it's not like it is his store or business or anything, and you didn't go to his site and cut him out. I think most of us get info here, and patronize Pelican and try to help others with advice when we can in turn. If he is expecting to make money here, he shouldn't bother Wayne's clientele.

[al lkosmal]

Pay it forward....I do it when I can and appreciate it when I am the recipient.

You were doing a good thing...the person who took exception to it was being a dick.

regards,
al

[tirwin]

Originally Posted by pmax

I think people missed the part about this incident happening in another marque’s car club.

Audi perhaps ?

I did miss that. But it doesn't change my answer.

Edit: I was confused by the wording "this particular group" in the original post. I assumed that he meant the person that email him was a long-time member here. Apologies for the confusion on my part. Reading and comprehending are different things. Carry on...

[Dpmulvan]

Some people are just greedy,you did the right thing.

[emcon5]

Tell him to go **** himself with a cactus.

[gliding_serpent]

Or the mazdaspeed forums. Talk about meatheads. They pride themselves on being rude. I find that the older the car, the nicer the enthusiasts.

Quote de Scott S

My initial post may be a bit dramatic/whiney - I just have never had that kind of confrontation in a car group. Really took me by surprise.

You should try the Subaru forums. Those guys are a bunch of pricks. Needless to say I don't frequent them.