911 Drama and tales of wife horror

[Pillow]

An interesting tale of why I do not like my wife driving the 911 as a daily driver...

Our neighbor friend has her Honda Odessey POS mini-van in the shop again for the engine light coming on. So my wife offers her the Cadillac to drive around until the Honda is fixed. Being a redneck I have a few extra cars littering the yard so no big deal I drive the truck and my wife and daughter take the 911 for the week.

Today just before lunch I get a call that the 911 broke down... Darn. So I shlep over to see what is going on with the car. Turn the key and listen to all the engine components; CDI chirping - check, fuel pump clicking -check, dizzy cap and rotor good - check... Look at fuel guage... EMPTY!

I ask if she had put any gas in it recently. She claims she thought the fuel gauge was broken as she put in 3 gallons a few days ago and the pump clicked full... First off I can see the fuel gauge excuse as the VW Bus was having issues with this until I replaced the guage a few months ago, right thought wrong car. Second is a semi decent excuse because most gas pumps will not ley you just cram the nossle in and fill the tank, there is a certain finese needed in this area with 911s.

So I shlepped and got a 5 gallon of gas for the 911 and corrected the problem.

Needless to say the 911 was kind of rough running for the first 5-10 minutes but seems to have come back to life properly.

And to end this story with a joke:
Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she was a woman.

[jester911]

Makes you want to take away the keys ,eh? That really sux pillow.
It reminds me of the first couple of years my wife and I were married,(going on 19 now).


She calls me up one day and says she had a blowout and needs me to come change her tire.


I am in Marietta and she is downtown. That is about 15 miles for those not from Atl. Anyway it is rush hour blah blah.


I get there and the sidewall is ripped out. I ask her if she hit a curb. Nooo! I don't think I hit anything. Right. It is the rear passenger side.

Well in the next year and a half it happened twice more. On the third go-around I told her I would not come change her again.
Six months later it happened again.

I refused to go. Needless to say she was pissed. Took her a while to get over that one.
But guess what. It has been 16 years now and it has not happened again. Funny how that works.

[Hetmann]

One day my wife asked why I never let her drive my 911. Okay, says I and toss her the keys. After one day of driving it around she tells me its just a smelly old car that drives like a truck. She's never asked to drive it again. Works for me.

[Superman]

I've said almost everything before, including the following remarks. I've made some pretty bad decisions in my life, but I married the right girl. She does a number of things quite well, and one of them is operating a motor vehicle. One of the few drivers with whom I can relax, she does not care for automatic transmisions.

Jester, I too favor the teaching method where you step out of the way and let the natural course of events do the instructing. Sometimes protecting people endangers them. And nature is a truly effective teacher. As they say, the test comes first and the lesson comes later.

And finally, if I were inclined, here is a short list of performance parts that double as wife-repellants:

The stiffest pressure plate Pelican sells.
22/29 torsion bars.
sport shocks
plastic suspension bushings
solid motor mounts.
spherical tower bearings

As a bonus, some say those parts can also help your car go faster.

[Thomas Owen]

Then again, she may have forgotten that she was even at the gas station when an important call came in.....

[speeder]

Cut it out, Thomas! Think I just coughed up a lung.

[Bill Douglas]

Thomas, I had a girlfriend once who had done that 2 or 3 times at the same gas station - are you reading this Rosina

She thought it was amusing that the guys ran out of the gas station and offered to pump the gas for her. I just thought they were being sensible and didn't want to die in a huge ball of fire.

[Kevin G.]

I have to kick in here.

First off - my wife bought me my car as a present. A 72T Targa with a 2.2S motor. I have always told her she could drive it, she is competent with a stick. She kept telling me she bought it for me cause I wanted it, not so she could drive it.

A couple of weeks ago, we got hit with the multiple-cars-out-of-action-at-one-time problem (kinda like triple witching time on the market). I needed to take her car in for repair, so she was forced into driving my 911 to work (Thousand Oaks to Santa Barbara).

Her only comment that evening was "She really likes it above 5,000 rpm, doesn't she".

Not even a smile - just a smirk as she tossed me the keys.

No wonder we've been married 25 years.

[Pillow]

I better interject a little positive for the wife. She is a decent driver in general and loves to drive sticks and especially the 911.

But mechanically she is a dope. She is one of those people who either lives at the dealer or lets the car run poorly until it explodes.

Granted I think any woman who drives a 911 is automatically just cool and sexy... Call me a sap

... My wife likes to drive the 911 hard as well... Evidence being the burnout she left "unintensionally" pulling out of our neighborhood! Yes, she does have a lead foot.

Glad to see I am not the only one with a sometimes cookey wife

Take Care,

[beepbeep]

Bill:

Luckily, gas-pumps have emergency valve/connector that releases nozzle-pipe under certain tensile forces. It also shuts down the flow, otherwise pumps would be blowing up every day :-)

[ccandgc]

hehehehe....look closely at the 740 above....rain on the windshield of the car behind looks like the gas station guys took a couple of shots at the car as the person drove off with their nozzle.

[Rouxzy]

My best girl took a friend of hers for a ride. Upon returning her friend said that she had never taken corners that fast. My girl then said," it' a good thing you didn't go with Tom he goes alot faster, I'm still cautious". God bless her soul. Total respect for me and my machines.
Tom

[Ilan]

My wife isn't really comfortable with a stick, but when I got my 911 I told her she could drive the car once I got the clutch and shocks replaced. When the day came, I offered, but she knew that on the inside I was scared stiff of what she might do to my precious Pcar. Incidentally, she once did take the fuel filler with her as shown on the BMW above. Anyhow, she never drove it. Instead, she went out and bought herself a Jag Xk8. Now we're both happy.

[Sunroof]

Thats funny stuff.................
My wife drives her nifty 2000 Mazda Miata and cannot get used to the manual clutch on my 73 compared to her somewaht mushy hydraulic clutch...............Its sort of vica-versa with me as well. I would rather be driving the 911 then Miata....

A great meeting of the minds, but she can never stay up with me on the open road....

I am one hell of a lucky guy!!!!!!!!!!

Bob

[JeremyD]

My wife tosses me the keys and says we may need an alignment on the P-car - she's drifting a little to the left above 130...

[Pillow]

D@mn Jeremy! I am not sure if I should congratulate you for a cool wife or be worried for you

[JeremyD]

I told her that was no way for a mother of three to act. She asked me how fast I had the car up to - I said just a little bit faster than that - and there was no traffic. She said there wasn't a car in sight when she did it - and it was late at night on a school night!

Oh well - I'm a lucky man, what can I say?

[JavaBrewer]

Originally posted by Pillow
And to end this story with a joke:
Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she was a woman.

Thanks for that one. I'd seen it before but since forgotten it.

My wife used to drive a stick (Mazda) and was pretty good. Actually she was an excellent driver but since our kids she's really degraded into a very docile (read irratating), soccer Mom, SUV road block. Luckily she is content to ride the far right lanes and refuses to use her cell phone while driving. Since I got my Porsche I have offered it to her on several occasions with no concern. She's only taken me up on the offer two times and still prefers her high riding automatic Disco over my ancient "I feel like a sitting duck" Carrera.

[Allan Broadribb]

My wife called - tells me she took the 911 and has a flat tire. I told her to call AAA - no need she says two other cars stopped and the guys are putting the spare on right now!

[billwagnon]

hope they don't strip the aluminum lug nuts!