[Tervuren]

I point things out sometimes here or there.

My first step is to decide if I can find a way to solve it that doesn't involve changing another person.

I then way the cost of those potential ways.

Then I look at what I would need to change about the other person.

I then way the cost of those potential changes.

After this I decide how worth it trying to change them vs trying to change the situation without affecting them.

Sometimes I can come up with something that solves the issue without having to go to another person.

I do not like superseding the person I have conflict with by going to another person first.

I'm not really certain it is something that can be "taught", it has to be learned. A mentor skilled in taking other people's views and thinking into mind is helpful in learning, or at least if not in learning in providing direction.

I observe that people have a default of complaining to someone not involved. This does not solve anything at all about the issue.

A semi-truck was pulled across a drive way at work.

All the guy needed to do to get out was talk to the semi-truck driver to back up a few feet.

Instead the co-worker spent 25 minutes talking to different people in the office complaining.

Finally someone in the office walked and asked the truck driver to back up a few feet.

The guy complaining could have done that. I suggested it to him the moment he complained to me. Yeash.