I had to say goodbye to Zeke a few months ago. He was almost 14 and was having enlarged prostate issues. The meds didn't help, he got x-ray'd, and turned out his insides were full of cancer. He was starting to suffer, so it ended that day. It broke my heart to see him rest his head on my arm for the last time, but it was the right thing. He had a good run, sharing his life with two to four housemates, always being the most excited one at mealtime.
I've thought about what's better- them going first or myself. I choose them because I don't want to think about what kind of live they'll have after I'm gone. I want to know they're loved and cared for the way I do it and never know different. I'll pay for that with the pain of them going first.
