190 lb rider + 20 lb load is not a lot. That's what my commute bike carries.
It has Mavic Open Pro rims, 32H front and rear, on lightweight double butted spokes and Mavic hubs. I built the wheels myself, they lasted for about six years of daily all-weather commuting in the city, stayed true with no broken spokes, until the brake tracks finally wore out. I had a local shop rebuild the wheels with a front dynohub - wanted to support them with business - with new Mavic Open Pro rims and new spokes and I'd expect to get another six or more years from them. The Open Pro is a fairly light aluminum shallow section training rim (about 440 grams/rim) that might have been a racing rim back when it was introduced, its not even a heavy-duty or touring rim.
So I don't think you need any special rugged high spoke count rims. Just carefully hand-built wheels with quality components.
A bike shop should charge around $80 to build a wheel, plus parts cost which should be around $90 for a high quality aluminum rim and around $2.50 per high quality double-butted spoke. Plus some trivial amount for brass nipples and rim strip. They can re-use your rear hub and lace in a front dyne hub (get SP or Son).
There are online custom wheel building places but the ones I have run across seem quite expensive. Example:
https://novemberbicycles.com/collections/hed-road-wheels If you lived in the Middle of Nowhere, fine, but in the Bay Area (right?) there are lots of good shops. I could ask on some bicycle forums for a rec, if you want.
I distrust pre-built mail order wheels because who knows if they are simply machine built and whether they got any hand finishing or come to you with spokes too loose or (in your case) too tight. And they will probably cost you no less than having an experienced local guy build your wheels by hand - unless they're real cheapies, in which case they are no-name Chinese components slapped together by a machine.
For choice of rim, I'd get an alloy rim, shallow-medium profile (not a deep "aero" profile), 32 or 36 H, ideally inside width at least 17-18mm (allows using wider tires), less than 450 grams. I like rims with eyelets but they hardly make those any more. Brand/model? I use vintage rims or new Mavic Open Pros, and will build my next set on the new Mavic Open Pro UST, but others would point you to H-Son, DT Swiss or HED.
Lastly, the above assumes you make some effort to "ride light". If you regularly thump stiff-legged off 4" curbs and bash through deep potholes, then don't waste money on handbuilt light performant wheels, just buy a series of cheapies.
P.S. If you were touring in Marrakesh, you could do it on the sort of wheel discussed above, just carry some extra spokes and a spoke wrench, and know how to true a wheel.