[MRM]

Much like putting the oxygen mask on yourself first if your airplane loses pressure, your obligation is to take care of yourself so you can take care of your family. Put yourself in the best possible position to succeed personally, make a national job search, and take the position that offers the best work/life/family/professional opportunity balance. Nice houses in nice cities in nice school districts with dear friends on all sides exist in every state. With great trauma in anticipation of the move but only a modest speed bump after, the family will transition quickly to the new location and your career, and you'll all be the better for it.