[jyl]

Move. Somewhere good, not a kaka hole . . .

Your kids will be okay. Staying put doesn't mean they won't have challenges as they move up from grade->middle->high school and have to adjust to new situations. A new place will add some new challenges but with your guidance and support they will overcome. A new place can also add some enriching experiences that many not be had with a more sheltered existence.

I have close friends who moved when their boys were in middle school, the eldest was definitely on the Aspergers spectrum, and he did fine. Secret was to get him involved with groups and activities that he was comfortable with, which in his case was theatre, chess, art, etc but that will differ for each kid. Of course, finding a good school(s) is important.

The most important thing for a family is that the family is secure and strong. Financial security is a factor in that, so is dad not hating life.

That said, people overcome all kinds of weird s**t and grow up fine. One of my best friends is among six siblings who were given up by their impoverished mom and lived in an orphanage for years until mom was able to come back for them; very strong family, siblings all very close, without exception fine people, all doing well. Another close friend grew up terribly poor and was a homeless teenaged girl; she is now middle class, owns her house, happily married, wonderful kids. And of course we all know people who grow up with every advantage and turn out awful and unhappy.

Personally, until college I never lived anywhere longer than 2 years (3 years one place), was the child of a single parent who had very little money (I remember the talk when my dad explained we were going to have to go on welfare, though he managed to avoid it), I was a latch-key kid for all those years and often had no or just one friend. It all worked out okay.