madcorgi

My daughter got her Tesla Model 3 this weekend. It took forever, the delivery process was a complete freak show, and she actually had to refuse to take delivery of the first car because it had so many obvious quality defects. When she handed them the list, they suggested "assigning a different VIN." (Yes, she is an engineer, a perfectionist, and a princess, but she's MY engineer, perfectionist, and princess.) She is composing an appropriate email lashing for Tesla's delivery folks.

So an acceptable example finally got here, and I was hot to drive it. Of course she handed me the keys, uh, no the uh phone, er card—computers suck--whatever--the lights came on.

I have ridden in Teslae before but had not driven one previously. The car has dual motors and AWD, and it is a hoot. Tesla claims the thing goes from 0-60 in 3.5 seconds, and will turn 11.8s in the quarter (yowza!!), and I have no doubt that's true. (For comparison, my 414 horsepower BMW M3 turns 12.5s, and the various lesser new Corvettes only turn 12s.) When you hit the throttle, there is no wheel spin--it just hunkers down and scats. But what is weirdest about it is the instant availability of full torque at any engine speed. No matter how fast you are going, pressing further on the throttle delivers an instant full-crack torque-whack in the back. There is no internal combustion engine delay while the revs build, no turbo lag, and of course no internal combustion engine or exhaust noise, so it sounds and feels like nothing I've driven before.

Equally weird is how quickly the car slows when the throttle is released, and the car is at its maximum regeneration setting. It’s like a speed dial, or a game controller. It would take me some time to get used to driving the thing, but it was extremely cool. The steering and brakes seemed great, as did the handling and the feel of solidity and quality--perhaps they keep a few perfect cars on hand for those "special" customers, ahem . . .

Overall a really impressive machine from the very short time I drove it. Our next step will be to take it to the drag strip for a runoff against my E92 M3. My M3 should be meat on the table to her M3, but . . . thats why we run the races!

I have mixed feelings about Elon Musk and Tesla as a company. He's a kook, and a jerk, and has played the government like a fiddle. But who would have thought ANY new car company--much less one requiring a whole new alternative technology that required basic infrastructure to support it--could have been created from scratch? I for one am glad there are still people who can dream big out there.

And, for all of the wonderfulness and speed of the electric cars, when all is said and done, I still prefer the primitive mode of propulsion pioneered by early cavemen, who ignited liquid dinosaurs with sparks caused by striking rocks together in a tiny confined space to make their cars go.