Quote:
Originally Posted by Schrup
Back in the seventies it was common. I was desensitized by daily beatings at home, so they had no effect on me. I do remember one exceptional beating by my 5th grade PE teacher Mr Vandergreen. He took me into a equipment closet & administered a beating with a goalie stick that rivaled any beating my dad gave me. In my experience corporal punishment doesn't work & usually leads to abuse. My kids behaved fine without laying a hand on them.
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We are like spirit animals.
My father was a druggie, he also dealt and he was a self absorbed ahole.
He worked nights at JFK airport and when he was not at work he was with his motorcycle gang getting into trouble. He was barely home, and when he was he was usually high on whatever he had that week.
Mom would leave me with him to go out and I can remember catching insane beatings because I was effing up his high with my childish carrying on.
I would catch beatings from that man that were mind blowing, from the time I was in Kindergarten until about 4th grade I was always in some sort of trouble and always catching beatings for it.
I can remember when he was done with me just laying there and it hurt to even move any part of my body. I also remember a few occasion when my grandfather, who lived across the street from us, coming over to stop my dad from beating me.
Which sucked because that enraged him more and as soon as my grandfather was back in his own house I got it even harder.
So tell me, why would a school aged kid scare me? They didn't I was small but I knew I could take punches from a grown man, I was not afraid to fight any kid and man I got into a ton of fights.
By the time I was in 4th grade my mother threatened to divorce my dad unless he changed his ways and started going to church. My the time I got to middle school the beatings were pretty much over because those would not be christlike.
Then it switched from physical abuse to mental abuse, I was never religious enough for him, I was a disappointment and I was hindering his advancement of lofty positions in the church because I was not religious enough. I think I missed the beatings by the time I was a teen at least with those you knew where you stood.
In Middle school I had a gym coach throw me around, a kid kicked a basket across the locker room and it hit me, I kicked it away from me so I could continue changing out. Guess who the coach saw kick the basket.
He went on to throw me around like a rag doll into walls and lockers and ask how I liked being tossed around.
I never said anything about that. Years later when I was an adult I told the story in front of my father, he asked why I never told them, I said very bluntly, I already caught one ass kicking why would I come home and get him to kick my ass again.
Now as an adult I have never hit my kids and I do not mentally screw with them. I support them I help them I do not want to say I am a friend to them, but I have a very honest and open relationship with both my boys, I do not judge.
And I have a little rule, whenever a parenting challenge is in front of me, I think what my dad would do, then do the opposite.