[GH85Carrera]

OK this one is not really a joke, but a funny story. It sure made me laugh out loud.

A short story.

One of my fire-rescue co-worker friends had a weird way of expressing himself. You knew what he was saying, if you thought about it.

We were at an elementary school, doing a 'show & tell' about the trucks, and Bob was trying to explain about keeping calm in an emergency. "After-all you don't want to be a man running-around with a chicken on his head," he said. Read, "running around like a headless chicken."

Another time, they were transporting a woman who had a syncopal episode (fainting) and who had lost-control of her bowels. She had been sitting on the floor covered in her own feces for hours, we suspected a CVA (stroke). Those are a mess. We try to clean them up before transport otherwise, the fire/rescue workers have been known to use the patient emesis bags themselves.

On the way to the hospital, Bob made the telemetry call into the E.R. to inform them of pt. status, and our time of arrival. The E.R. physician asked for the most-recent set of vital signs, and Bob responded. "Doctor, the patient was lying on the floor we suspect for hours, she moved her bowels, and is now covered in fetuses."

The doctor called back, and asked, "please repeat that!"

Bob: "we don't have a most-recent set of vital signs, because of the dirty condition of the patient, she is covered in fetuses!" The next time the doctor keyed the mic, you could hear laughing in the background.

When the ambulance arrived at the E.R. there was staff interest to see the elderly woman "covered in fetuses." We heard about the incident when our unit made a hospital transport, and from his partner. By now, he was used-to such happenings, and turns of a phrase.