Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarwood
Happy that you made it to the other side, brother.
1.5 years later, how do you feel about the whole thing?
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance?
Do you have any motivation to meet someone new yet?
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Now that the stress of an upcoming trial is gone I'm feeling pretty good. I haven't had a beer episode since the trial. Before this I could have 1 to 3 beers a few times a week and that would be all. After this happened if I had 1, I was all in. Had to stop buying the stuff. I'm back to were I was with my beer relationship, maybe less. I still don't buy any for home, but occasionally stop at a watering hole for a couple. As far as her, I don't feel the love anymore. I still miss her company. I miss having someone to share my day with. It's betrayal by the one that was the most trusted. Its a hard thing to deal with. I feel I can never trust anyone like I trusted her again. Because of her history and what this guy did to her over 30 years ago I thought she would never do something like this. If she could do it, than anyone can. I know there are people out there that can be trusted but I can't take that chance, I barely survived this round. I mean barely, not proud, of things I did right after, hurt my kids with my behavior. Gun to my head a few times, they found me passed out in the truck in the driveway. You have to understand, there was nothing wrong with the marriage as far as I could tell. She told me that she loved me, but just loved him more, always considered him as her soul mate. Guess that means there was something wrong? I think it would have been easier if she had died in a car wreck.
I spent 25 years focusing on taking care of my wife and kids. It's why I worked. I did it for them so they can have a good life. Kids have 2 years plus of collage and no bills. Wife didn't work much, she got to do her art and music. So now I'm enjoying my freedom and focusing on me. It's me time. I would like to have a lady friend but I'm afraid I will get attached. I will never marry again, it's a scam, not a real contract, can't even sue for breach of contract, I checked. You could but you would spend a lot of money with no return. The loneliness will suck, but it's a lot less complicated than having a female around.