[LEAKYSEALS951]

I agree- some interesting points, but a lot of potential for lameness- for instance- the example from the article states:

"Felix, when I see two balls of soiled socks under the coffee table and another three next to the TV, I feel irritated because I am needing more order in the rooms that we share in common. Would you be willing to put your socks in your room or in the washing machine?"

Makes me want to puke.

How about... "Felix, get your g#$ d#$% socks off the floor right now or that's the last g#$ d#$% time you will ever watch tv down here again."

broken down this is what I hear-

"Felix, when I see two balls of soiled socks under the coffee table and another three next to the TV, "
punk teenager "wow..mom made an observation."
"I feel irritated"
punk teenager"like I care..."
because I am "needing more order"
I was advised in a communication seminar last week to be wary of the word "need" and not to be a "needy person"
we need food, air, and water, and potentially shelter. No one "needs "order. Perhaps if I chop my arm off with a chainsaw, and blood was pumping out, I could say "I need you to call an ambulance" because I'm dying/physically cannot dial phone.
otherwise- "needy" talk big no no. She wants order. She does not need it.


"Would you be willing?"
Why is she asking for permission? Her house. Her rules. This just empowers the kid to say no. I was also taught never to give a child a choice in a matter unless you are willing to accept the consequences.

edit- ironically, walking downstairs to throw my stinky socks in the hamper just a minute ago- I realized exactly why the example they used was weak- She states she "needs something", but then "asks" for approval to get it done (as if the answer "no" were an option) which shoots her "need" in the foot. It's either/or, but not both.

I think one could go on and on over-analyzing this type of stuff.