[john70t]

iirc, the process goes like this:
Sally(anguished): You did that the wrong way again like you always do. You didn't listen. It needs to be done this way so that then afterwards...

Betty(using NVC): Ok can we pause there so I understand what you are saying?

Sally: sigh. Fine. Ok. deep breath

Betty: What I'm understanding you say is that I'm doing this the wrong way because I don't respect you. Is that how you feel?

Sally: Yes.

Betty: And you feel that I should be doing it another way because you are in charge. Is that what you meant?

Sally: Yes.

Betty: And you wanted me to do it a different way. Is that what you meant?

Sally: Yes.

Betty: And you wanted me to do it this way? Is that what you are saying?

etc. etc. etc.

It is a format for standardized feedback format which slows down and draws out a conversation and breaks down every-single-thing said.
[breaking up the conversation into little segments like it is a court trial cross examination]

Just the fact that everything takes so damn long might be exhausting and non-efficient at first.
I guess since the painful experience is shared, a "bond of trust" is created.
And from that trust, a non-judgmental relationship is formed.


I can see the technique might be useful in certain circumstances.
Not so much in others.