[Craig T]

Originally Posted by bpu699

Stages of two companies merging:

1) Send an email to all employees of both companies that everything will be the same, and no jobs will be eliminated to quell the unrest
2) After merger, fire half the IT, Billing, and advertising people. But make it clear that this in no way will effect the front line staff or face to face client care
3) Immediately thereafter, fire half the recpetionists, and helpers. "Right Size" positions and make sure everyone is working at the top of their license
4) Make everyone reapply for their job. Fire anyone that ever showed backbone.
5) Send out memo that everything is going great, morale is wonderful. Schedule group meeting.
6) Make sure all the white collar VP and President positions stay, offer golden umbrellas
7) Fire all mid level managers, report that they voluntarily left
8) Watch upper management all leave and cash out their pensions...
9) Redistribute workload to anyone left, explaining that "everyone everywhere" is working this hard
10) Watch all your best people come to their senses and quit.
11) Panic, give raises to anyone left and immediately try to recruit
12) Watch customers leave



Those are the steps... been there, suffered that...

Skip to step 10...

BTW...This is completely wrong! He has "Watch customers leave" listed last at #12. That actually starts around #3 when the word of the merger gets back to the clients who already hate the big company with terrible service that bought the little company with great service. Everything else is spot on!