Something about introversion meaning "one gathers strength from being alone..."
But not too alone.
I work around people all day. For me- it takes a lot of effort to be around people. I love to just be alone, and enjoy the quiet. There was a PBS show some time ago called "Virginia Currents", which during each episode panned out to show some serene landscape, perhaps with some babbling brook in the background, or some distant interstate noise of some passing cars. I loved it because it was (at least for me), an attempt to capture time (a moment in time/the passing of time), on film.
There's nothing more relaxing to me than after a hard day at work, sitting at one of the many nearby breweries, kicking my legs back, and enjoying the breeze, watching the clouds fly by casting shadows over the mountains. Pure quiet bliss.
I never sit at the bar, nothing against the people there. In fact a lot of interesting people habitate the bars, yet, I just prefer to be alone to relax.
Which gets me to some lady that felt the need to keep me company a while back (
bless her heart). Seeing me purposely alone, smiling at clouds, enjoying the moment, mistook it for loneliness, and felt the need to come befriend me, and yammer on in a one way conversation for 15 minutes about her life, contrails, and her retirement from a real life chocolate factory.
I was appreciative, her intent was noble, but dangit, I wanted to be left alone. The light shines on a certain building there in perfection at dusk every night- that's why I came. After about 20 minutes, I finally couldn't handle it anymore. I stated that I work with people all day, and after such, there is nothing more relaxing than staring at trees blowing in the wind.
She didn't get it, and kept on yammering (her intentions were good
).
Last week, a similar situation occurred when a group sat down next to me and started talking. I was pissed, but one of the guys turned out to be a history buff, which led to some interesting WW2 conversation.
As reviving as being alone is, I have to balance that with missing out on my family. Selfish... I know, but when the family dynamic verges on "The Simpsons" with Homer yelling at Bart, I really do value some peace and freakin' quiet.
Huge balancing act. I want to be alone- but not lonely.