Quote:
Originally Posted by jcommin
I journaled during my first year of going thru my divorce. My wife was having an extramarital affair and my emotions were all over the place. Like a diary, I journaled every day for about 6 months. I needed to - it helped me focus as I was going thru the divorce process. I saved them along with every other document from lawyers - its in a box. I going to burn it all next year - 10 yr anniversary of my divorce.
It is a toxic box - like plutonium opening it up and reading the documents, it's unhealthy. Recently I learned that my ex is a beneficiary of a pension I have. I thought I took care of this, my mistake. I had to produce a copy of the divorce resolution - I thought I had it in the box. So as I'm looking, I start reading - it was making me ill. I covered the box put it away. It reminded me of Raiders of the Lost Arc. So for $5, I got a copy from State of IL. No phone calls to lawyers, no more reading, no calling my ex. I'm at peace again.
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Only six months? Only one box?
I was going to keep a journal but I saved every piece of paper, document, summons, motion, order, you name it, in chronologic order. Boxes of it. I still carry this dream of reconstructing the whole
ten-year ordeal into a novel. The experience changed my entire life. I discovered everything I knew was wrong. I'd been living my whole life under a false premise.
I realized just how mislead I'd been and how naive I was. When I realized how foreign reality was to how I'd been living my life, and it was truly a shocking revelation, it struck me as a miracle that I'd survived, how delicate life is. It compelled me to completely rearrange my priorities from top to bottom. My reconstruction is ongoing to this day.
Maybe someday I'll put it all together and end up with something useful, something helpful.
But first, I need to rip open those boxes instead of spitting on them.