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Originally Posted by DanielDudley

The three stages of helping are; It gets better if you try., There is help available if you want it., and I'm not going to watch you die.

I used to do a lot of counseling, and I still do some. I don't help people because they need it, I don't help people because they want it, I help people who are willing to help themselves. Somewhere, in the depths of despair, people have to make a choice, Life or Death, Good or Evil.

We extend the hand of help and friendship, but you must reach out and take it. Helping people with addictions and depression is counter intuitive. You somehow need to be there, but you have to make it clear that it is their choice to live or die.

It gets better, but you have to try. Wives and friends get sick of enabling. You have to draw a sharp line in the sand, and point out that it is a choice whether or not someone crosses it. No one can cross it for another, no one can drag you over. You hit bottom alone, and you have to make a choice. You have to ask the universe for help, and you have to be willing to take it.

You can offer support, but it is important that you are clear that it is a choice.

This more or less sums it up. You can throw a life preserver but the guy has to grab it.