[fintstone]

If one is "walking on eggshells" all the time with their spouse, that seems like a serious problem. If there is an occasional issue where there is disagreement...is not bringing it up really that big an issue? Lots of couples have differing political views for example...yet manage to not kill each other in their sleep. They ether agree to disagree, they generally avoid the topic, or the less militant one simply decides it is not with the effort to debate the issue. We have to do this to some extent (on some issues) with almost everyone.

This just seems to reinforce the importance of choosing a spouse carefully and being honest (before marriage).

This seems a bigger problem today because people marry older. My wife and I married quite young (the fall after I graduated from high school)...and much of our viewpoints were quite malleable. Most of our opinions on issues were developed, or at least firmed-up, after marriage based on shared experiences.

I am well aware of what makes my wife happy or sad (or angry). She usually gets her way on things she feels more strongly about and I, the same. I do my best to make the "happy" the theme of the day. I don't see it as "walking on eggshells"...but as being considerate/self-sacrificing. I don't much believe in giving cards at Valentines Day, etc...but my wife loves them so I invest the buck and get her the nicest one I can find. She does not really value my old cars...but she does not nag me about them. She might if it prevented us from having a nice house or something she values. I try to make it so we can have both. If she gets what she values, she really cannot find too much fault with my decisions.