Porsche joins pharma in a partnership that allows enjoyment of your car for up to four hours longer.
We are so excited to have been selected by PCNA (Porsche Cars North America) to help with the pre-launch of a special product tailored to our unique market. Yes, we obviously love the brand and certainly proselytize its virtues, but to be considered as the tip of the sword in this new development really makes us feel special.
With the ever expanding branding of all things PORSCHEŪ, it is hard to keep current with all the new models being released. Now, in an interesting expansion into the U.S. market, a new pharma based product has just completed U.S. Food & Drug Administration trials.
PCNA, in a confidential partnership with PfizerŪ, has developed a new capsule that provides an intimate immersion in enjoying your Porsche, or anyone’s Porsche, with as little as two hours notice.As a closely working partner with PCNA, Autokennel is proud to have been selected as a beta test group for their key target audience –the vintage Porsche owner. We can now offer you limited supplies of:
Taking one PORSCHE PILLŪ allows the "driver" to feel enhanced pleasure when viewing the Porsche silhouette including heightened awareness of one's "self being" when fantasizing about making high speed maneuvers on the Nordschleife. Furthermore, "drivers" (as Porsche marketing calls this new audience) have commented on no dysfunctions and an erect sense of awareness at any picture of a 911.
Ask your doctor if PORSCHE PILLŪs are right for you. Early signs of users who should not take PORSCHE PILLŪs include Lexus owners, monster truck owners or inhabitants of single wide trailers.
Side effects include stiff springs and erect antennas along with uncontrolled purchases of stroker kits. Additional side effects could include roll cage regret, excessive waxing and detailing and a reduction in tire sidewall aspect ratios. A small percentage of "drivers" may experience a buzziness in the inner ear -check with your mechanic to confirm if you have an aftermarket exhaust.
Don’t take PORSCHE PILLŪs if you drive a Camaro or Viper.
Call your mechanic before taking PORSCHE PILLŪs on track days.
If you experience exhaust leakage after taking PORSCHE PILLŪs, check with your mechanic as he may have installed an aftermarket exhaust. Please consult with your mechanic if your PORSCHE PILLŪs experience results in redlining for more than four hours.
Don’t take PORSCHE PILLŪs while tailgating a Prius in the high occupancy lane.
AND, most importantly, never take PORSCHE PILLŪs while ordering a new Porsche, specifically while ticking optional equipment boxes.